Caregiving, caregivers, and needing care
• Caregiving, caregivers, and needing care
• Useful links
• Books for and about caregivers
Caregiving, caregivers, and needing care
I recommend: An Uncertain Inheritance: Writers on Caring for Family, edited by Nell Casey--really wonderful narrative essays on family experiences in the no-man's-land of illness, some written by the caregivers, some by those being cared for. Helen Schulman writes frankly about how unrewarding caring for her dying father was. Ann Harleman writes of how her husband's multiple sclerosis affects the quality of their marriage. Abigail Thomas writes about dealing with her husband's traumatic brain injury after being hit by a car. Julia Glass, who writes about dealing with breast cancer while also raising two small sons, writes: "I began to understand that taking care of someone doesn't always mean doing something for that person . . . Being is just as important as doing. Being awake. Being present in the next chair. Being funny. Being smart in a surprising, useful way. Being sympathetically perplexed. Being a mirror for the expression of pain." Andrew Solomon, author of The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression, writes beautifully here of the humbling experience of being cared for as an adult by his father, admitting, "He meant his assurances to be uplifting, but sometimes they felt like trivializations of my very real condition. I was not going to be fine and I wanted him to acknowledge that. I was indebted to him, but my appreciation teetered constantly at the brink of ingratitude."
Useful Links
Alzheimer List (an online discussion group)
Alzheimer's, resources for caregivers (David Shenk's site for The Forgetting)
An Uncertain Inheritance: Writers on Caring for Family, ed. by Nell Casey
Beyond Indigo (caregiving and terminal illness)
Between Comfort and Care, a Blurry Line, by Sandeep Jauhar, MD (The New York Times)
The boy in the plastic bubble and other stories of clinical research at NIH
CareGivers.com (solutions for better aging)
Caregiving.com (articles about issues caregivers frequently encounter)
Caring Today (caregiver guides and other resources)
Coping with grief (terminal illness), BBC
Frequently asked questions about caregiving (caregiving.com)
Frequently asked questions about hospice (Caring Connections)
Get palliative care (care to comfort, not to cure)
The Gift of Time by Marc Lichter (Caring Today)
The good death (Elizabeth Grice asks if we have lost the art of dying well)
Living with an illness (tips from Caring Connections)
Marc Lichter's blog about caregiving (Caring Today)
Mistaken attachments, Alzheimer's, and the O'Connor family's decision to bring the subject out of hiding
Memoirs of illness, crisis, and survival
Mothering Mother -- video interview with Carole O'Dell, author of Mothering Mother (Melissa Long, CNN)
National Family Caregivers Association (NFCA)
Personal stories of schizophrenia (WFSAD)
Recognizing Alzheimer's (symptoms)
Stories about patients in NIH clinical trials (most of these written by Pat, none ending in death)
Traumatic brain injury, organizations that provide information on
Books for and about caregivers
Other titles of possible interest, many of which I have not personally reviewed yet, follow. Tell me which titles should or should not be here, in your personal experience -- which books you have found particularly useful at helping you care for someone seriously ill (or caring for yourself, when burning out from caregiving). Note that the word is "caregiving," not "caretaking" (caretakers take care of something like a building or piece of property).
Caregiving: The Spiritual Journey of Love, Loss and Renewal, by Beth Witrogen McLeod
I'll Be in the Car - One Woman's Story of Love, Loss and Reclaiming Life by Annette Januzzi Wick
And Thou Shalt Honor: The Caregiver's Companion, ed. Beth Witrogen McLeod (foreword by Rosalynn Carter)
The Fearless Caregiver: How to Get the Best Care for Your Loved One and Still Have a Life of Your Own, by Gary Barg
Helping Yourself Help Others: A Book for Caregivers, by Rosalynn Carter and Susan Ma Golant
Mothering Mother: A Daughter's Humorous and Heartbreaking Memoir by Carole O’Dell
Unholy Ghost: Writers on Depression, ed. Nell Casey
We Carry Each Other: Getting Through Life's Toughest Times, by Eric Langshur, Sharon Langshur, Mary Beth Sammons
Dancing with Rose: Land in the Life of Alzheimers by Lauren Kessler
Death in Slow Motion: My Mother's Descent into Alzheimer's, by Eleanor Cooney
No Small Miracles: Heartwarming, Humorous, and Hopefilled Stories from a Pediatric Chaplain, by Norris Burkes
Brain, Heal Thyself: A Caregiver's New Approach to Recovery from Stroke, Aneurysm, and other Brain Injuries, by Madonna Siles , Lawrence J. Beuret
Caring for Your Parents: The Complete AARP Guide by Hugh Delehanty, Elinor Ginzler, with a foreword by Mary Pipher
Slipping Away by Luree Miller (about TIAs)
Decompression Illness (the Bends), story by Philip Greenspun