Death often takes us unaware, even when there has been an illness. And in a state of confusion, grief, and fatigue we are expected to attend to practical details, one of which may be encouraging the local paper to write an obituary (the essay-like story about the deceased written by a staff writer, not the paid-for death notice listing the surviving family members, etc.). In the past, papers like the New York Times and the Washington Post wrote obituaries mostly about the rich, the famous, and the important local dead. More recently, recognizing that the obituary page is the first page many people turn to in the morning (to see which friends have left this world), they have begun writing interesting stories about regular (albeit sometimes eccentric) people. Obituaries can and should be interesting stories, not boring brag fests. Here are some links to sites for fans of obituaries, to examples of interesting obituaries, and to related sites.

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Kathryn Mayo Candresse (1953-2008)

Kathryn Mayo Candresse died August 7, 2008, in Birmingham, Alabama.  Born May 29, 1953, she was a native of Birmingham and had lived near Bordeaux, France, for the past twenty-two years.  Her family posted an official obituary in the local paper, for her father's generation. The one that follows Kathy wrote herself, for her friends:

After dancing a tight tango with cancer for five years, Kathryn Mayo was eliminated from the dance contest August 7, 2008.  In lieu of a wake worthy of her Irish heritage, her family will be receiving friends at Jefferson Memorial Gardens funeral home from 6:00pm to 8:00pm, August 8th.  Funeral services will be held at 10:00am, August 9th. 

Although born and raised in Birmingham, Kathy Mayo lived most of her adult life in Bordeaux, France where she found a culture more in tune with her philosophical bent and taste for fine wine.  Kathy worked in research and teaching in Microbiology at the University of Bordeaux and always said that if she were reincarnated the ultimate irony would be to come back as a lab mouse.

She is survived by her husband, Thierry Candresse, virologist, and her daughter, Camille, sweetie-pie, who reside in France.  Her surviving family in America consists of her father, John C. Mayo; her older brother's family, John P. and Ellen Mayo, and offspring Bradley, Mimi, and Anna (of Nashville, TN); her younger sister's family, Donna and her husband Forrest Duncan, Donna's daughter Gray Vargas, and Forrest's children, Caroline and Graham Duncan. .

Kathryn will be remembered by her fellow students at E.B.Erwin High School for her knobby knees and thick glasses, by the students of Auburn University for her witless choice of major subject (Botany), and by professors at the Pennsylvania State University for her total lack of seriousness as a student. They gave her a master's degree in Plant Pathology against their better judgment…

The accomplishments of which she was most proud were her black belt in Aikido, actually getting paid for playing the harp for weddings and receptions, staying married to the same person for over 20 years, being able to make herself understood in French, having a baby at the age of 41, and a prize for research on a bacterium that causes stomach ulcers.