DYING: A Book of Comfort
Companion website about dying, bereavement, loss, grief — and aging with spirit
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Funerals, cremations, home funerals, green burial, memorial services• Books on family-directed funerals • Planning for a funeral (advice from the Federal Trade Commission Links to Resources on funerals, cremations, services... Taking Chance Home (Marine Lieutenant Colonel Strobl's simple and moving account of escorting the remains of Lance Corporal Chance Phelps home from Dover Air Force Base). You can watch HBO's film based on the story, Taking Chance, starring Kevin Bacon. Or check out the Chance Phelps Foundation.
Books and stories on Family-Directed Funerals A movement to bring grief back home, a Washington Post story by Rachel Cos, suggests sources of more information on family-directed funerals. Caring for the Dead: Your Final Act of Love, Upper Access, 1998, by Lisa Carlson. A complete guide for those making funeral arrangements with or without a funeral director. Covers funeral law state by state. $29.95 from the Funeral Consumers Alliance or $18.87 from Amazon.com. Available at many libraries. Funerals Without God: A Practical Guide to Non-Religious Funerals by Jane Wynne Wilson, a handbook geared to humanist ceremonies in Great Britain, where they are more common. Grave Matters: A Journey Through the Modern Funeral Industry to a Natural Way of Burial by environmental columnist Mark Harris (a well-written and informative survey of the costs, processes, and effects of various burial options (from traditional funeral with embalming to cremation to various eco-friendly green-funeral options, including burial at sea or on one’s own land), with graphic descriptions of embalming, rotting, etc. Living Into Dying: A Journal of Spiritual, Practical Deathcare for Family and Community, 2002, by Nancy Jewel Poer. $23 from crossings.net or from Amazon.com Crossings publishes a resource guide containing “educational, inspirational, and practical tools” needed to plan a home funeral. Available for $55 at crossings.net. ~ The Book of Common Prayer Planning for a Funeral (Advice from the Federal Trade Commission) 1. Shop around in advance. Compare prices from at least two funeral homes. Remember that you can supply your own casket or urn. 2. Ask for a price list. The law requires funeral homes to give you written price lists for products and services. 3. Resist pressure to buy goods and services you don't really want or need. 4. Avoid emotional overspending. It's not necessary to have the fanciest casket or the most elaborate funeral to properly honor a loved one. 5. Recognize your rights. Laws regarding funerals and burials vary from state to state. It's a smart move to know which goods or services the law requires you to purchase and which are optional. 6. Apply the same smart shopping techniques you use for other major purchases. You can cut costs by limiting the viewing to one day or one hour before the funeral, and by dressing your loved one in a favorite outfit instead of costly burial clothing. 7. Plan ahead. It allows you to comparison shop without time constraints, creates an opportunity for family discussion, and lifts some of the burden from your family. |
Tell all my mourners
To mourn in red -- Cause there ain't no sense In my bein' dead. ~ Langston Hughes, "Wake" "Green burial provides us with a way of getting in sync with the natural process of death, decay, and regeneration, rather than having to stave it off, as conventional deathcare demands."
~ Joe Sehee, Founder/
 "I would feel more optimistic about a bright future for man if he spent less time proving that he can outwit Nature and more time tasting her sweetness and respecting her seniority."
~ E.B. White "When I die don’t bury me
In a box in a cemetery Out in the garden would be much better I could be pushin’ up homegrown tomatoes." ~ Guy Clark, Homegrown Tomatoes |
