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Aging with grace, spirit, and wisdom

Attitude is (nearly) everything...


Ageism and other tough issues

A few books on ageism

Aging positively (or wisely and with acceptance)
Healthy aging
Life Lessons from the oldest old
Spirituality for beginners or doubters

• Preventing falls + learning how to fall + how to get up
Senior discounts, grants, and other assistance
Elder orphans (aging solo)
On becoming invisible
On being a grandparent

Enjoying lifelong learning and creativity
     (MOOCs, OLLI, Great Courses, TED talks, and the like)
Managing modern life (including electronics + technology)
Traveling in retirement (from home exchanges to road trips)
---Home exchanges, housesitting, and home sharing
---Real ID (new federal requirements)
---Road scholar and other interesting trips
---Travel insurance and other defensive measures
---Travel tips and resources
Reminiscence, life review, and life storytelling
Making and keeping friends
Dealing with loneliness (learning to connect)
The new landscape of intimate relationships

(Handling parent-child conflicts and troubled relationships)
• Research on aging


Managing body, mind, and memory
Achieving and maintaining a healthy weight
Nutrition and diet
Vitamins (especially Vitamin D), sunshine, and sunscreen
Bladder, urinary tract, and gut control, infections, incontinence, and related problems
Getting enough exercise
Preventing falls, learning how to do them better, and learning how to get up afterward
Dealing with (or preventing) frailty
Knee and hip replacement and other fixes for body parts
Understanding how memory works
Cognitive skills and development  (whatever your age)
If I Had My Life to Live Over
"My Mother the Lion" by Ruth Little


"What a wonderful life I've had! I only wish I'd realized it sooner." ~ Colette

See also:

Downsizing, decluttering, moving, and other hard-to-face realities
Retirement 101

"Listen to your elders, not because they're always right...

      but they have more experience being wrong."

           ~Warrior Goddess Wisdom

Managing body and mind

Exercise for older adults (aka 'senior fitness')
Maintaining a healthy weight (or not)
Preventing and dealing with frailty
Preventing falls
Cognitive skills and development
Bladder and related problems
Knee replacement and other fixes for body parts
Falling and balance problems
This is just a start. Moving stuff here from elsewhere!
"Time marches on and I have to find the beat." ~Rochelle Kainer

Losing weight (and inches) and maintaining a healthy weight

Diabetes, high blood pressure, and similar conditions associated with obesity are silent killers. You can feel fine for years before you feel sick, and then it may be too late to reverse the damage.

Why some doctors are ditching the scale, saying focusing on weight drives misdiagnoses (Eilis O'Neill, NPR, 12-2-23) "Research has shown that when clinicians focus on weight, it can lead patients to avoid or delay health care, including recommended cancer screenings. People with larger bodies often report that when they go to the doctor, their problems are ignored or written off as an inevitable result of their weight. Without asking questions, they say, health care providers suggest diets they've already tried and lifestyle changes they've already made. Providers sometimes miss major health problems — in both people with larger bodies and those with smaller ones — when they're too laser focused on a patient's weight, says Dr. Lisa Erlanger, who practices weight-neutral medicine...A growing number of providers are going further than that: practicing what they call weight-inclusive, or weight-neutral, care. Some subscribe to a set of principles called "health at every size." "We don't recommend weight loss as a way of treating medical conditions," says Tess Moore, a family medicine physician in Seattle who has made her practice weight neutral. Instead, she tells her patients that exercise and nutritious food are good for them regardless of whether or not they lose weight.
Wegovy works. But here's what happens if you can't afford toweight-loss mir keep taking the drug (Allison Aubrey, Morning Edition, NPR, 1-30-23) "Drugs like Wegovy and Ozempic are being touted as weight-loss miracles in a country obsessed with slimness. But, the drugs aren't intended for cosmetic weight loss. Ozempic is approved for diabetes, and Wegovy is for people with obesity who also have weight-related conditions such as high blood pressure or high cholesterol that put them at risk of heart disease. There's been such an increase in demand that an FDA database lists the medication's active ingredient, semaglutide, as "currently in shortage."
       "But at a cost of about $1,400 a month — out of pocket when insurance doesn't cover it — many people can't afford to stay on the medication for the long term. And when people stop taking it, there's often rebound weight gain that's hard to control. In fact, a study found that most people gain back most of the weight within a year of stopping the medicine.
        "The rebound weight gain is not a surprise given how the medication works. Wegovy's active ingredient — semaglutide — is a GLP-1, or glucagon-like peptide-1, which mimics the GLP-1 satiety hormone in our bodies. When we eat, GLP-1 is released from our intestines and sends signals to our brain centers that control appetite. "This hormone is telling your brain, I'm full, I don't need to eat anymore," explains Dr. Robert Kushner of Northwestern University...
      "Since Wegovy was approved by the FDA in 2021, some insurance plans have begun to cover the medication for people who meet the clinical prescribing guidelines. According to the FDA, people are eligible if they have a BMI of 27 or higher and also have at least one "weight-related ailment" such as hypertension, diabetes, or high cholesterol. Or they have a BMI of 30 or higher, regardless of weight-related ailments. But insurance coverage is very spotty. Medicare does not cover Wegovy or other weight loss drugs, and many insurers follow Medicare's lead. Increasingly, there's pressure to change this."
Were We the ‘Fat Couple’? (Courtenay Hameister, Modern Love, NY Times, 12-1-23) Courtenay Hameister realizes that the shame she feels about her body is insidious — wounding not only herself but the man she loves.
The Obesity Revolution ( Elaine Chen and Matthew Herper,STAT News, 3-5-23) New weight loss drugs are changing the narrative on obesity, with a push from pharma. Obesity has long been framed as a result of poor lifestyle decisions and a failure of willpower — eating too much and exercising too little. New obesity drugs [including Wegovy (semaglutide) and tirzepatide], both weekly injectable medications that target hormones involved in appetite and blood sugar, are hitting the market, heating up one of the biggest pharmaceutical competitions in history and raising profound questions of cost, equity and cultural bias.

     The new obesity drugs are in a class called incretin mimetics or GLP-1 based drugs, which emulate the effects of a hormone called glucagon-like peptide 1 that can help people feel full. [Only paid subscribers can read the whole article.] 
--- Experts worry the 'magic' in new weight loss medications carries a dark side (Karen Weintraub, USA TODAY, 4-4-23) Some doctors, psychologists and eating disorder experts worry these new medications, originally developed to treat diabetes, could become a problem long-term.
     Common side effects of these so-called GLP-1 receptor agonists – nausea, diarrhea, vomiting and constipation – can be significant. Nearly half of people with diabetes quit an earlier generation of the medications within a year, one real-world study showed, and 70% within two years.
     Most people are likely to regain lost weight if they don't keep taking the drugs for life, and the psychological toll of that rebound could be damaging, psychologists predict.
BMI: The Mismeasure of Weight and the Mistreatment of Obesity (Julie Appleby, KHN, 10-12-22) The human body mass index — a simple mathematical equation — is tied to a measure of obesity invented almost 200 years ago. On the downside, it can stand between patients and treatment for weight issues. It particularly mismeasures Black women and Asians.
With weight loss drug ads, telehealth companies wade into a regulatory gray area (Mohana Ravindranath, STAT, 4-6-23) Companies including Ro and Calibrate have capitalized on new weight loss drugs by launching telehealth services dedicated to prescribing Wegovy and Ozempic. In Ro's case, the company has launched with prominent subway ads that feature close-up pictures of people injecting themselves and simple pitches like “Wegovy to lose weight.”
How Big Business Got Brazil Hooked on Junk Food (Andrew Jacobs and Matt Richtel, NY Times, 9-16-17) As growth slows in wealthy countries, Western food companies are aggressively expanding in developing nations, contributing to obesity and health problems.

       "Nestlé’s direct-sales army in Brazil is part of a broader transformation of the food system that is delivering Western-style processed food and sugary drinks to the most isolated pockets of Latin America, Africa and Asia. As their growth slows in the wealthiest countries, multinational food companies like Nestlé, PepsiCo and General Mills have been aggressively expanding their presence in developing nations, unleashing a marketing juggernaut that is upending traditional diets from Brazil to Ghana to India....

      "The new reality is captured by a single, stark fact: Across the world, more people are now obese than underweight. At the same time, scientists say, the growing availability of high-calorie, nutrient-poor foods is generating a new type of malnutrition, one in which a growing number of people are both overweight and undernourished....

     "As multinational companies push deeper into the developing world, they are transforming local agriculture, spurring farmers to abandon subsistence crops in favor of cash commodities like sugar cane, corn and soybeans — the building blocks for many industrial food products. It is this economic ecosystem that pulls in mom-and-pop stores, big box retailers, food manufacturers and distributors, and small vendors like Mrs. da Silva."
Skinny and 119 Pounds, but With the Health Hallmarks of Obesity (Gina Kolata, The Science of Fat series, NY Times, 7-22-16) A small group of thin patients who develop disorders typically tied to obesity pose a medical mystery and a potential opportunity for scientists.

•   A sugar bomb in disguise (Wynne Parry, Seek, The Rockefeller Institute, 4-1-17) Thomas Huber’s own weakness for diet soda led to his search for evidence that chemical attempts to fool the human sweet tooth may have unanticipated effects. Now, he is conducting a clinical trial to better understand if artificial sweeteners alter metabolism. A “widely publicized 2014 study in the journal Nature linked artificial sweeteners to disruptions in the body’s ability to control blood sugar, a hallmark of diabetes.” “The ultimate irony is that aspartame may be contributing to the obesity epidemic, not mitigating it.”
The Doctor Prescribed an Obesity Drug. Her Insurer Called It ‘Vanity.’ (Gina Kolata, NY Times, 5-31-22) Many insurance companies refuse to cover new weight loss drugs that their doctors deem medically necessary. For one recently approved weight-loss drug, one pharmacy was charging: $1,500 a month, and the patient's insurer classified it as a “vanity drug” and would not cover it.
The ‘perfect body’ is a lie. I believed it for a long time and let it shrink my life (Lindy West, The Guardian, 5-8-16). As a child, Lindy West was told she was ‘off the charts’. In this exclusive extract from her new book, Shrill, she explains how society’s fixation on thinness warps women’s lives – and why she would rather be ‘fat’ than ‘big.’
The Dangers of Belly Fat (Jane E. Brody, NY Times, 6-11-18). Oy. If you do nothing else today to protect your health, consider taking an honest measurement of your waist. Stand up straight, exhale (no sucking in that gut!) and with a soft tape measure record your girth an inch or two above your hip bones. The result has far greater implications than any concerns you might have about how you look or how your clothes fit. In general, if your waist measures 35 or more inches for women or 40 or more inches for men, chances are you’re harboring a potentially dangerous amount of abdominal fat.
One Weight-Loss Approach Fits All? No, Not Even Close (Gina Kolata, The Science of Fat series, NY Times, 12-12-16) Dr. Frank Sacks, a professor of nutrition at Harvard, likes to challenge his audience when he gives lectures on obesity. “If you want to make a great discovery,” he tells them, figure out this: Why do some people lose 50 pounds on a diet while others on the same diet gain a few pounds? Then he shows them data from a study he did that found exactly that effect. After general piece, Weight-Loss Plans That Worked: After trial and error, Kolata tells six stories from people who finally found diets, drugs and other methods that helped them keep the weight off. A low glycemic load diet, a drug that can combat cravings, relentlessly counting calories, a drug combination that controls appetite, an iron grip on her diet, and a drug that worked — and then didn’t.
After ‘The Biggest Loser,’ Their Bodies Fought to Regain Weight (Gina Kolata, The Science of Fat, NY Times, 5-2-16) "When the show began, the contestants, though hugely overweight, had normal metabolisms for their size, meaning they were burning a normal number of calories for people of their weight....you can lose enormous amounts of weight, you can go on for six years, but you can’t get away from a basic biological reality,” said Dr. Schwartz, who was not involved in the study. “As long as you are below your initial weight, your body is going to try to get you back.”
Risky stimulants turn up — again — in weight loss and workout supplements (Rebecca Robbins, STAT, 11-8-17) DMAA can cause cardiovascular problems ranging from shortness of breath to a heart attack. Cannibal Ferox Amped has been called "dangerous and irresponsible." Three of the ingredients "could speed up heart rate and raise blood pressure. And none, including octodrine, has gone through the process required by the FDA to be included as ingredients in dietary supplements."

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Short Answers to Hard Questions About Weight Loss (Gina Kolata, The Science of Fat, NY Times, 5-4-16) Very helpful Q&A. "Anecdotal reports by people who have succeeded in keeping weight off tend to have a common theme: constant vigilance, keeping close track of weight, controlling what food is eaten and how much (often by weighing and measuring food), exercising often, putting up with hunger and resisting cravings to the best of their ability. Those who maintain a modest weight loss often report less of a struggle than those trying to keep off large amounts of weight."
A Plant-Friendly Atkins Diet Gets High Marks On List Of 2017's Best Diets (Allison Aubrey, NPR, 1-4-17) Check out the new list of rankings from U.S. News & World Report, highlights of which are summarized here.
Mediterranean diet named the best for 2019 (Sandee LaMotte, CNN, 1-2-19) For the first time, the Mediterranean diet has won the gold as 2019's best overall diet in rankings announced Wednesday by US News and World Report. The analysis of 41 eating plans also gave the Mediterranean diet the top spot in several subcategories: best diet for healthy eating, best plant-based diet, best diet for diabetes and easiest diet to follow.
Excess Weight Contributes to More Than 7 Percent of Cancers (Nicholas Bakalar, NY Times, 1-2-19) More than 7 percent of cancer cases in the United States are attributable to excess body weight, a new study reports. The highest rates of weight-associated cancer are in the South, the Midwest, Alaska and Washington, D.C.; the lowest were in the Mountain States, New England and Hawaii. Previous studies have established an association between body fat and at least a dozen cancers, with the highest risks for liver, uterine and esophageal cancers.

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Best Diets of 2017 (U.S. News and World Report). The list itself, by categories: Best diets, best diets overall, best weight-loss diets, best commercial diet plans, best diabetes diets, best diets for healthy eating, best fast weight-loss, best heart-healthy diet, best plant-based diets, easiest diets to follow, 38 best diets overall. Some diets appeared on several of those lists.
Skinny People With Obesity Issues? A Rare Window for Researchers (Gina Kolata, The Science of Fat, NY Times, 7-22-16) A small group of thin patients who develop disorders typically tied to obesity pose a medical mystery and a potential opportunity for scientists.
After Surgery to Slim Down, the Bills Can Pile Up (Lesley Alderman, NYTimes, 12-31-10). After bariatric surgery, high co-payments, nutritional and behavioral counseling and cosmetic surgery can easily add up to thousands of dollars, mostly out of patients’ pockets.
After ‘The Biggest Loser,’ Their Bodies Fought to Regain Weight (Gina Kolata, The Science of Fat, NY Times, 5-2-16) Contestants lost hundreds of pounds during Season 8, but gained them back. A study of their struggles helps explain why so many people fail to keep off the weight they lose.
What thin people don’t understand about dieting (Traci Mann and A. Janet Tomiyama, The Conversation, 12-26-17). Traci Mann is author of Secrets From the Eating Lab: The Science of Weight Loss, the Myth of Willpower, and Why You Should Never Diet Again . See also In 'Eating Lab,' A Psychologist Spills Secrets On Why Diets Fail (Jean Fain, The Salt, 6-1-15)
Why Do Obese Patients Get Worse Care? Many Doctors Don’t See Past the Fat (Gina Kolata, The Science of Fat, NY Times, 9-25-16) You must lose weight, a doctor told Sarah Bramblette, advising a 1,200-calorie-a-day diet. But Ms. Bramblette had a basic question: How much do I weigh? The doctor’s scale went up to 350 pounds, and she was heavier than that. If she did not know the number, how would she know if the diet was working? The doctor had no answer.

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Tell Me I’m Fat (Ira Glass, et al, This American Life, WBEZ, 6-17-16). Listen or read transcript. The way people talk about being fat is shifting. With one-third of Americans classified as overweight, and another third as obese, and almost none of us losing weight and keeping it off, maybe it’s time to rethink the way we see being fat
A Lesson From the Biggest Losers: Exercise Keeps Off the Weight (Gina Kolata, NY Times, 10-31-17) Eating less (and right) takes the pounds off. Exercising keeps them off -- but you can never let up. Once you get fat, it's hard to get thin again.
If you’re right about your fat friend’s health. (Your Fat Friend, Medium, 8-23=17) Concerned about your fat friend's health? How you express that concern could just exacerbate the problem. "Fat people’s humanity cannot rest on our happiness or health any more than it can rely on our size. Whoever we are, however our bodies came to be, health will not deliver us from the well-intentioned bullying of concern."
What Obese Patients Should Say to Doctors (Gina Kolata, The Science of Fat, NY Times, 9-25-16) Dr. Puhl’s group recommends taking a family member or a friend to act as an advocate — someone who can ask the direct questions the patient may be hesitant to voice. Many patients have struggled with their weight throughout their lives, she said, so a doctor is not being helpful by just saying, “You need to lose 50 pounds.”
How To Lose Belly Fat Effectively And Healthily (Lifehack)
After ‘The Biggest Loser,’ Their Bodies Fought to Regain Weight (Gina Kolata, The Science of Fat, NY Times, 5-2-16) Contestants lost hundreds of pounds during Season 8, but gained them back. A study of their struggles helps explain why so many people fail to keep off the weight they lose.

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Short Answers to Hard Questions About Weight Loss (Gina Kolata, The Science of Fat, NY Times, 5-4-16) "Anecdotal reports by people who have succeeded in keeping weight off tend to have a common theme: constant vigilance, keeping close track of weight, controlling what food is eaten and how much (often by weighing and measuring food), exercising often, putting up with hunger and resisting cravings to the best of their ability. Those who maintain a modest weight loss often report less of a struggle than those trying to keep off large amounts of weight."
The Elephant in the Room: One Fat Man's Quest to Get Smaller in a Growing America by Tommy Tomlinson. See A Memoir About Loving — and Then Resisting — Krispy Kreme, Chili Dogs, Cinnamon Biscuits... (Dwight Garner, NY Times, 1-21-19) Gradual but persistent change is the way to go.
After Weight-Loss Surgery, a Year of Joys and Disappointments (Gina Kolata, The Science of Fat series, NY Times, 12-27-16) Even as the pounds fell away and their health improved, two patients contended with the feeling that life hadn’t changed as much as they’d hoped. "Bariatric surgery is an option that obesity medicine specialists say is too often ignored or dismissed. Yet it is the only option that almost always works to help very heavy people lose a lot of weight and that also can mysteriously make some chronic conditions vanish." Sidebar: What Is Bariatric Surgery, and How Does It Work? Answers many questions, and explains the four procedures available today.
The lap band for weight loss is a tale of medicine gone wrong (Julia Belluz, Vox, 5-25-17) How the lap band works — and how it fails. It doesn’t lead to weight loss and often requires more surgery. Other weight loss surgeries are more effective, but doctors will still keep doing the lap band.

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The Fat Fight Is Far from Over by Marilyn Wann, author of Fat: The Owner's Manual (Surviving a Thin-Obsessed World with Your Health, Happiness, and Sense of Humor Intact). See also this video Why It's Okay To Be Fat (Golda Poretsky's TED talk). Okay, let's admit it. If you're fat and you're an elder, it's time to hear what people are saying about fat acceptance.

Rethinking Weight Loss and the Reasons We’re ‘Always Hungry’ The problem isn’t that there are too many calories in the fat cells, it’s that there’s too few in the bloodstream, and cutting back on calories can’t work. The underlying cause of obesity is the low fat, very high carbohydrate diet that we’ve been eating for the last 40 years, , which raises levels of the hormone insulin and programs fat cells to go into calorie storage overdrive. Our meal plan is based on whole natural foods, which include saturated fat. But we make sure to balance that with lots of mono- and polyunsaturated fats like olive oil, nuts, avocado and flaxseed oil.
A Personalized Diet, Better Suited to You (Kate Murphy, NY Times, Well, 1-11-16) Why one-size-fits-all diets do not work for everyone.

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Exercise for elder adults (aka 'senior fitness')

and a bit about dealing with back pain

“The bones are mechanical sensory entities that are going to remodel in proportion to how much mechanical stress they’re under…so lifting heavy stuff matters.”Peter Attia

Work–Life Balance: Slow Down, Move, and Think (Mona Shattell, Healio, 3-15-17) Working constantly is not healthy when it takes the place of regular exercise, cooking and eating well, and having time and space to think. We must take care of our bodies and minds.
7 Exercises You Should Do Absolutely Every Day. (Bob & Brad, YouTube video). Watch so you know which ones to avoid if you have specific problems.

1. Neck tuck

2. Head back extension (use towel)

3. Arms-locked-back stretch (expands chest)

4. Shoulder squeezes (shoulders squeezed back)

5. Back extensions (push up position)

6. Hip flexor (kneeling w 1 leg bent, one leg back)

7. Hamstring stretch (good for back) At least two ways to do this one.

"If you start losing motion, you start gaining pain."


Exercise to Stay Healthy (Bone Health and Osteoporosis Foundation, BHOF) Exercises to improve posture, balance, and function, and to help prevent fractures.
4 MIN Upper Body Pain Relief Workout (Miranda Esmonde-White, Classical Stretch, YouTube) BACK PAIN
6 Exercises for Lower Back Pain (Stacey Colino, AARP, 3-27-22) Back aches and injuries are common among older adults, but some simple stretches can help
I read more than 50 scientific studies about yoga. Here's what I learned. (Julia Belluz, Vox, 7-22-15) She looks at the research and gives us the bottom line: What we know: Yoga is probably just as good for your health as many other forms of exercise. But it seems particularly promising for improving lower back pain and — crucially — reducing inflammation in the body, which can actually help stave off disease. Yoga also seems to enhance "body awareness," or people's sense of what's going on inside themselves. What we don't know: Whether some forms of yoga are better than others, whether yoga should be prescribed to people for various health conditions, and how yoga compares with other forms of exercise for a good many specific health outcomes. There's also no good evidence behind many of the supposed health benefits of yoga, like flushing out toxins and stimulating digestion.
2-Minute Bursts of Movement Can Have Big Health Benefits (Dani Blum, NY Times, 12-8-22) You don’t have to do a hard workout to reap the longevity rewards of exercise.
A Low-Pressure Guide to Make Strength Training a Habit (Danielle Friedman, NY Times, 10-12-22) Couch potato? Do these exercises during commercial breaks.
5 Exercises to Keep an Aging Body Strong and Fit (Connie Chang, NY Times, 3-1-23) Declines in muscle and bone strength start earlier than you might think. Build a smart workout habit now. Dr. Brian Feeley, the chief of sports medicine at the University of California, San Francisco, explains how to try five movements, targeting different areas of the body:
To strengthen the lower body: Squats and stairs.
To get your heart rate up: Take a Nordic walk.
To train your upper body: Try hanging around. (Hanging from a horizontal bar enhances grip strength and shoulder mobility, strengthens the core and stretches the upper body — from the chest to the spine to the forearms.)
To strengthen your core and hips: Use a slider. If you’re new to working your upper body and core, Ms. Sciacca suggests holding a simple plank for 30 seconds. Once that’s comfortable, position your feet on the sliders, assume the same position, and work to keep yourself stable.
WHO Scraps Low Bar for Exercise, Sets Targets for All Ages (Nicole Lou, MedpageToday, 11-25-2020) New recommendations for people with disability, pregnant women
Yoga for Arthritis (Dr. Steffany Moonaz). You can download two articles there: Yoga for People with Arthritis (by Steffany Moonaz) and Yoga for Arthritis: A Scoping Review
Is Your Ab Workout Hurting Your Back? (Gretchen Reynolds, NY Times, 6-17-09) There’s growing dissent among sports scientists about whether all of this attention to the deep abdominal muscles actually gives you a more powerful core and a stronger back and whether it’s even safe. A core exercise program should emphasize all of the major muscles that girdle the spine, including but not concentrating on the abs. Side plank (lie on your side and raise your upper body) and the “bird dog” (in which, from all fours, you raise an alternate arm and leg) exercise the important muscles embedded along the back and sides of the core. "As for the abdominals, no sit-ups, McGill said; they place devastating loads on the disks. An approved crunch begins with you lying down, one knee bent, and hands positioned beneath your lower back for support."


Sitting Is Bad for You (Gretchen Reynolds, Well, NY Times, 9-23-15) Many epidemiological studies have found associations between multiple hours of inactivity and increased risks for diabetes, obesity, heart disease, liver disease, metabolic syndrome and other conditions, including premature death. Most worrying, these risks remain elevated even if someone regularly exercises but then settles into his or her chair for the rest of the day. Uninterrupted sitting may reduce vascular function. A 2-Minute Walk May Counter the Harms of Sitting (Gretchen Reynolds, Well, NY Times, 5-13-15)
Is Sitting Still Bad? (Office Chair Picks) “Sitting is more dangerous than smoking, kills more people than HIV, and is more treacherous than parachuting.” And “Reducing inactivity by increasing the time spent walking/standing is more effective than one hour of physical exercise when energy expenditure is kept constant.”
Exercise Vs. Diet: The Truth About Weight Loss (As told to Sarah Z. Wexler, HuffPost, 4-30-14) "You can't out-exercise a bad diet." ~ Shawn M. Talbott
Sitting Is Bad for Children, Too (Gretchen Reynolds, Well, NY Times, 9-23-15) Many epidemiological studies have found associations between multiple hours of inactivity and increased risks for diabetes, obesity, heart disease, liver disease, metabolic syndrome and other conditions, including premature death. Most worrying, these risks remain elevated even if someone regularly exercises but then settles into his or her chair for the rest of the day. Uninterrupted sitting may reduce vascular function.
Spot Reduction Is A Myth—Here’s What To Focus On Instead (Amy Capetta, What's Good, Vitamin Shoppe, 2-19-21) There’s no scientific evidence to support the concept of spot reduction. However, incorporating full-body exercises, resistance training, and HIIT into your routine can help you burn calories, build muscle, and shed fat all over.
How older adults can get back into physical exercise following months of pandemic rules (Judith Graham, Washington Post, 5-31-21) Reconnect with your physician. Have your functioning assessed. Get a referral to therapy. Start slow and build steadily. Be physically active. Have realistic expectations. Eat well. Reestablish routines. Reconnect socially. Includes links to exercise programs you can do at home:
---The Go4Life program (Natonal Institute on Aging)
---12 Go4Life exercise videos (a little slow loading)
---Exercise at home videos (YMCA)
---Gerofit (exercise for veterans)
Here's How Many Calories You Burn Doing 39 Popular Exercises (Kevin Loria, Business Insider, on Science Alert, 10-1-17) What burns it best?
Exercise for Older Adults (MedlinePlus) Links to excellent resources.A 2-Minute Walk May Counter the Harms of Sitting (Gretchen Reynolds, Well, NY Times, 5-13-15)
Guide to Pelvic Floor Release With Exercises (Intimate Rose) Conditions of chronic pelvic pain are often caused by tightness in the pelvic floor. As many as one in seven people suffer from chronic pelvic pain, often spending years trying to receive a proper explanation and diagnosis for their pain. It is possible to release the muscles by using gentle pelvic floor stretches, using a trigger point release wand, and practicing relaxing the pelvic floor.
The Right Dose of Exercise for a Longer Life (Gretchen Reynolds, Well, NY Times, 4-15-15) " the people who did not exercise at all were at the highest risk of early death. But those who exercised a little, not meeting the recommendations but doing something, lowered their risk of premature death by 20 percent.... The sweet spot for exercise benefits, however, came among those who tripled the recommended level of exercise, working out moderately, mostly by walking, for 450 minutes per week, or a little more than an hour per day. Those people were 39 percent less likely to die prematurely than people who never exercised."
The Best Exercise for Aging Muscles (Gretchen Reynolds, NY Times, 3-23-17) One study suggests that "certain sorts of workouts may undo some of what the years can do to our mitochondria....the subjects who did the interval workouts showed increases in the number and health of their mitochondria — an impact that was particularly pronounced among the older cyclists. It seems as if the decline in the cellular health of muscles associated with aging was 'corrected' with exercise, especially if it was intense..."
The Kind of Story We Need Right Now: 82-year-old Bodybuilder Beat up Burglar (YouTube, Late Night with Seth Meyers, 12-18-19) Seth steps away from bleak and depressing news to share a news story about an 82-year-old female bodybuilder who beat up a burglar who tried to break into her home. (He left in an ambulance.)

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If You Tear a Knee Ligament, Arthritis Is Likely to Follow in 10 Years (Gina Kolata, NY Times, 11-6-17) The number of A.C.L. operations at 26 children’s hospitals in the United States has soared as more children and adolescents play sports that involve twisting the knee, like soccer and basketball.“This is a major issue for me,” said Kocher, who does more than 150 A.C.L. reconstructions a year, mostly in adolescents. “If a 15-year-old gets arthritis in 10 years, knee replacement is not a great option at age 25.” While knee injuries have received the most attention in research on arthritis risk, other joints are not immune.
Fitness Calculator. See this Norwegian site's frequently asked questions.
Chair Dancing fitness (especially helpful for elders who have trouble walking)

Foot Pain? 6 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Ignore It (Hallie Levine, AARP, 5-9-22) Read about stress fracture, persistent heel pain, psoriatic arthritis, diabetes, gout, and blood clot, and what to do about them.
Best Shoes for Walking (Moccasin Guru) Recommendations for best shoes, etc., for running, sports, Plantar Fasciitis, Hallux Rigidus, flat feet, high arches, etc.  Good for explanations.
The strength, mobility and health of your feet is important to your whole body (Amanda Loudin, Washington Post, 2-16-2020) The importance of walking barefoot and of wearing the right shoes. Plus exercises, expecially that focus on the muscles used to move the foot up and down or in and out, and also on the big toe, which helps stabilize, steer and improve propulsion of the foot and body.
The Fuzz Speech. (YouTube) Dr Gil Hedley gives a lesson on the importance of movement and stretching--a tasteful anatomy lesson that may motivate you to stretch more.
Going for the Gold (Amy Zipkin, Retiring, NY Times, 9-16-16) Three times a week David Gladfelter, an 80-year-old semiretired lawyer, dons a swimsuit, goggles and cap. For the next hour, varying his strokes, he swims 80 laps at a community center pool. The weekend after Labor Day, Mr. Gladfelter raced unopposed in several competitions in the New Jersey Senior Games to qualify for the National Senior Games, a biennial athletic competition for adults over age 50. At the last National Senior Games, held in Minneapolis, nearly 10,000 participants competed in 19 sports — not just swimming and running but also little-known contests like pickleball and retirement standards like shuffleboard. The first National Senior Games nearly 30 years ago drew 2,500 contestants
6,000 Steps Towards Better Health (Liz Seegert, 12-4-12) A new study in Menopause, the journal of the North American Menopause Society (NAMS), says that’s how many steps each day it takes to reduce risk of diabetes and cardiovascular disorders.
The Monty Python workout? It’s a silly walk, and it works! (Gretchen Reynolds, WaPo, 12-21-22) A not-so-serious study discovered that a walking style made famous by the comedy troupe is actually vigorous exercise. If someone adopts a silly walk for at least 11 minutes a day, he continued, they will meet the standard recommendation of at least 75 minutes of vigorous exercise every week, which should meaningfully improve health and aerobic fitness.

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Six Reasons Why Women Should Weight Train (Phil Hardesty, Ornish Living) Strength training prevents falls, builds your bones, improves your overall health, supports heart health, makes movement more enjoyable, and builds confidence.
Exercise Programs That Promote Senior Fitness (Center for Healthy Aging, National Council on Aging) The best exercise for seniors to prevent health problems and stay independent are aerobic activity and muscle-strengthening. NCOA’s Center for Healthy Aging connects community organizations to proven programs that empower older adults to engage in regular exercise. Explore these evidence-based physical activity programs, which have been proven to produce measurable health benefits for older adults.
Seniors learning to play no-fall volleyball (Associated Press, NBC4, 8-30-16) The game is a modified form of beach volleyball – but with seats, a bigger ball, lower net and referee. It’s intended for seniors trying to regain their strength in a safe environment. It engages them with others and helps improve motor skills, reaction time, eye-hand coordination, flexibility and upper body and core strength.
Depression-Busting Exercise Tips For People Too Depressed To Exercise (Sarah Kurchak, The Establishment, 5-5-16) "The perfect exercise is anything that you will actually consider doing. The perfect body is a breathing one. Anything that serves those ends is worth considering. Everything else is noise."
Exercising the elderly heart: No value in overexertion "Performing frequent and diverse exercise without high intensity in an elderly population such as ours is achievable and can reduce the risk of death," says Ying Kuen Cheung of Columbia University in study of the value of physical activity and exercise in helping to prevent heart disease related deaths among senior citizens. "Having the ability to engage in a large number of different activities can be more strongly associated with cardio-respiratory fitness, which may explain why we found a protective effect for all our outcomes." A high heart-related death rate was found among the group of seniors who frequently exerted themselves too much through intense bouts of physical activity. (EurekAlert press release,10-17-16)
The Powerful Effect of Exercise on Women with Heart Failure (Phil Hardesty, Ornish Living) About 42 percent of people who have been hospitalized for heart failure die within five years. To improve your chances, you need to exercise, even if you have advanced heart failure, research now suggests.
Why Standing Often Feels Even Harder Than Running (Judi Ketteler, NY Times, 8-1-19) Focus on maintaining a more “active” stance to help distribute your weight more evenly and align your joints--and other suggestions.
I Did SoulCycle And Nothing Will Ever Be The Same Again (Ryan Overhiser, Medium, 5-5-17) Indoor cycling, reinvented in 45-minute workouts.
Younger Skin Through Exercise (Gretchen Reynolds, NY Times Well blog, 4-16-14) "Exercise not only appears to keep skin younger, it may also even reverse skin aging in people who start exercising late in life, according to surprising new research."

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Exercise Vs. Diet: The Truth About Weight Loss (As told to Sarah Z. Wexler, HuffPost, 4-30-14) "You can't out-exercise a bad diet." ~ Shawn M. Talbott
The Real Reason Downward-Facing Dog Is So Bad for You (Shawn Radcliffe, science writer and yoga teacher)
6 Alternatives to Downward-Facing Dog
1 Minute of All-Out Exercise May Have Benefits of 45 Minutes of Moderate Exertion (Gretchen Reynolds, Well, NY Times, 4-27-16) In an experiment, 60 seconds of strenuous exertion proved to be as successful at improving health and fitness as three-quarters of an hour of moderate exercise.
Age-associated declines in mitochondrial biogenesis and protein quality control factors are minimized by exercise training. (E Koltai et al., Am J Physiol Regul Integr Comp Physiol. 2012 Jul 15, via PubMed) Treadmill training can help stop the age-associated decline and deterioration of your cell's mitochondria, their energy powerhouse, according to animal studies (via Joan Young).

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‘Playgrounds’ Designed for Seniors Help Keep Them Active, Sharp (Terry Turner, Good News Network, 7-15-15)
The Red Hot Mamas Do the Macy's Day Parade (video, NY Post. Do watch it!)
A Compendium of Hope (Judy Steed). An innovative program at Toronto Western Hospital teaches seniors how to dodge fall-inducing risks, as well as preventive exercises and nutrition so they'll have a fighting chance against the next spot of black ice.
Go4Life (National Institute on Aging, part of NIH)
What Makes Olga Run?: The Mystery of the 90-Something Track Star and What She Can Teach Us About Living Longer, Happier Lives by Bruce Grierson. Move. Sleep. Be an optimist. Break a sweat every day. Don't do it if you don't like it. Begin now.
Training for Triathlons at an Older Age (Elizabeth Olsen, NY Times, 2-29-15) “A lot of the older generation are able to be very competitive because of their work ethic,” said Mr. Swarthout, of USA Triathlon. “They just don’t quit.”
Why We Gain Weight As We Age (Patti Neighmond, NPR Morning Edition, 2-22-10). Bottom line: Exercise!
Silver Sneakers. Work out with cardio and weight equipment, access pools or take group exercise classes taught by instructors trained specifically in senior fitness.

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Preventing and dealing with frailty

For an aging person, is it worth it to start using a geriatrician? (Judith Graham, WaPo and KHN, 3-10-17) 'Geriatricians are “experts in complexity”...They can serve as primary-care doctors, mostly to people in their 70s, 80s and older who have multiple medical conditions. No one better understands how multiple medical problems interact in older people and affect their quality of life than these specialists on aging. But their role in the health-care system remains poorly understood and their expertise underused....They particularly focus on issues that other primary-care doctors often neglect — notably falls, incontinence, muscle weakness, frailty, fatigue, cognitive impairment and delirium. In medicine, these are known as “geriatric syndromes.” Find a geriatrics healthcare professional in your state; call (212) 308-1414 if you can't use the search function.
You’re Not Just ‘Growing Old’ If This Happens To You (Judith Graham, Kaiser Health News, 12-8-16) Some health problems that senior citizens blame on “growing old” are actually signs of a more serious issue that can be treated. (1) Fatigue. You have no energy. You’re tired all the time. (2) Appetite loss. You don’t feel like eating and you’ve been losing weight. (3) Depression. You’re sad, apathetic and irritable for weeks or months at a time. (4) Weakness. You can’t rise easily from a chair, screw the top off a jar, or lift a can from the pantry shelf. (As to the #4: "You may have sarcopenia — a notable loss of muscle mass and strength that affects about 10 percent of adults over the age of 60. If untreated, sarcopenia will affect your balance, mobility and stamina and raise the risk of falling, becoming frail and losing independence.")
Frailty is a medical condition, not an inevitable result of aging (Marlene Cimons, Washington Post, 12-10-12) Experts now regard frailty as a medical syndrome, that is, a group of symptoms that collectively characterizes a disease, one that probably has biological and genetic underpinnings and can afflict even those in middle age if they have some other debilitating chronic disease. Frail people usually suffer from three or more of five symptoms that often travel together. These include unintentional weight loss (10 or more pounds within the past year), muscle loss, a feeling of fatigue, slow walking speed, and low levels of physical activity. Refers to this medical article (which is rougher reading): Frailty in Older Adults: Evidence for a Phenotype (Linda P. Fried et al., Journal of Gerontology, 2001) “These are people at risk of very bad outcomes.”

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The Challenge of Treating 'Frailty' (Richard Gunderman, The Atlantic, 12-8-14) Eat nutritional food. Exercise (even just a daily walk). Build relationships and cultivate a hopeful outlook (promote "psychological resilience"). "The fundamental problem with frailty is a reduced ability to bounce back from biological insults, such as infections and injuries..""A relatively minor illness can throw a frail patient into a downward spiral, sometimes leading to death." "For reasons not fully understood, some patients simply fare worse than others." "Frail people do not necessarily suffer from any single disease. As a result, they often fall through the cracks."
Learning to spot frailty (Judith Graham, The New Old Age, NY Times, 6-21-13) Few doctors watch for this. “I tell my patients, ‘Walk for 10 to 15 minutes faster than a dog walks, and find a couple of bean cans and lift them up and down for five minutes each day in any direction,’” Dr. Morley said. “That’s roughly what people need to do.” Arrange an evaluation by a physician when an older person answers “yes” to at least three.
• Are you fatigued?
• Do you have difficulty walking up one flight of steps?
• Are you unable to walk more than one block?
• Do you have more than five illnesses?
• Have you lost more than 5 percent of your weight in the last six months?
Other tests recommended in the consensus statement include questions about walking speed (slow walking can be a sign of frailty), grip strength (a weaker grip is an indication), the extent of physical activity, and memory complaints.
A Senior’s Guide to Understanding and Overcoming Frailty (Coach Marty, Great Living Today, 1-6-16) Practical tips: things to do.
The Frailty Syndrome (Zachary J. Palace, MD, CMD, and Jennifer Flood-Sukhdeo, Today's Geriatric Medicine, 2014) Although it lacks a standardized clinical definition, older adults’ frailty warrants special considerations in terms of treatment and nutritional needs.
Understanding frailty (Frank Lally and Peter Crome, Postgraduate Medical Journal, 2007)

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Bladder, urinary tract, and gut control, infections, incontinence, and related problems

Peeproof pants and other tools for managing the surprises of elderhood


Is it bad to hold your pee? (Heba Shaheed, TED-Ed). Marvelous video illustration of the urinary system and how it works.
What Your Poop Says About Your Diet (Onikepe Adegbola, The Unmentionables, GoodRX, 1-21-22) Many factors can affect the shape, form, and color of your stools — including your diet. But sometimes an underlying condition may cause abnormal stools. The Bristol Stool Chart is a helpful tool to classify your stool by its form and consistency. Changing your diet may help you have regular bowel movements and get you back to a healthy stool type. See More GoodRX stories about Gut Health
Gut: The Inside Story of Our Body's Most Underrated Organ by Giulia Enders with Jill Enders and David Shaw
Breathable underwear, compared (National Incontinence)
Peeproof underwear (Icon Undies, The Tinklehood) Icon replaces bulky pads and pantyliners, because who wants to feel like they're wearing a diaper? "Yes, you can wear 'em all day. Yes, they're machine washable." And yeah, they're totally life-changing.


Female urinating devices (FUDs)

     I was fascinated by but have not tried out any of these "female urinating devices" (funnels that allow women to pee sitting or standing up without undressing, for occasions when you wear bulky clothing, can't find a restroom, are exposed to face freezing temperatures, and other tricky situations. For backpackers and for peeing like a man on special occasions):

      FUDs are funnels that allow women to pee sitting or standing up without undressing, for occasions when you wear bulky clothing, can't find a restroom, are exposed to freezing temperatures, and other tricky situations. For peeing like a man on special occasions.
---The Complete Guide to Female Urination Devices (Maggie Wallace, Backpacker). Definitely worth a read, even if you don't plan to use one: concepts I never knew about until LT, an elegant friend, at a retreat of women writers explained how they work -- to our open-mouthed surprise. "There’s a better way. Female urination devices (FUDs) mean that answering the call of nature does not require you to sacrifice your dignity. FUDs are straw- or funnel-shaped plastic extenders that allow women to pee like men: while standing and wearing pants, a climbing harness, or a backpacker’s hip belt" so that during outdoor activities you aren't exposed "with your hiking shorts around your ankles." She reports the pros and cons of each model (illustrated, both disposable and disposable) and provides tips on how to use them. She rates: Pibella (her #1 pick, for "long distance backpacking or peeing discreetly"), SheWee (for hiking trips, public bathrooms), PStyle, Pee Pocket, Whiz Freedom (for Porta potties), Lady P, Hopkins MultiPurpose Funnel (keep in car for emergencies), Lady J (for "people confined to bed rest"), Go Girl ("for wetting your pants"--"too wobbly too trust"). Highly rated section at end: Our Testers Best Tips, which include "Do not pee into the wind" and "Practice in the shower first." You may want to order both the device and the "extender" (for keeping your shoes dry) and carrying case. "The SheWee is a compromise between the wider funnel design of Whiz Freedom (see below) and the smaller, more ergonomic design of Pibella."
--- Pibella Travel
--- SheWee original (Amazon link), a urinating device that allows women to urinate without removing clothes whilst standing or sitting--comes in several colors.
--- SheWee Extreme (Amazon link), the SheWee original plus extension pipe and case--comes in several colors
--- pStyle (good for rock climbing)
--- Pee Pocket (cardboard, disposable--a single-use urinary device that is perfect for athletes, travelers, the elderly, disabled, pregnancy, parents of young girls, post-surgery patients - anyone who might have to go while on the go!). Also available on Amazon
--- Lady J (Amazon link), for use during medical bedrest, at home or in hospital, with a nonflexible cupping base)
--- Whiz Freedom (sold in UK, good for porta potties)
--- Hopkins FloTool QuickFill Funnel (Amazon link, a multipurpose automotive funnel)
--- Go Girl ("don't take life sitting down" -- for porta potties, fishing boats, camping on a cliff, etc.) Dryness less secure than with other products, it is reported, but comes in small cases.

---Tinkle Belle female urinating device with case (Added later.) Stand to pee while fully clothed. (Highly rated on Amazon) Stand with your feet shoulder width apart. Put The Tinkle Belle through your clothing and place it so the widest part of the hard shell portion is under your urethra. 

What Are The Most Absorbent Urinary Incontinence Pads For Women? (Caregiver Partnership). See also Explanation of types (pull-ons, adjustable underwear, briefs, undergarments and more) http://www.liveanew.com/Incontinence-Product-Styles-a/279.htm  New Customers: use the coupon for discount.
Your gut microbiome (links to many sites and articles)
Urinary Incontinence? Bladder Leakage? How to Get Control (expert Sarah Haag on Bob & Brad, video, 43 minutes, 3-19-21) Excellent explanations and advice, and interesting comments section.
Gulp: Adventures on the Alimentary Canal by Mary Roach
Many women over 50 have leaky bladders, most don't seek treatment (Linda Carroll, Reuters, 11-1-18) The difference between stress incontinence and urge incontinence, and a range of ways to deal with them.
Urinary incontinence (Medline Plus)
Staying Trim, Strong May Cut Risk of Urinary Incontinence (Cecilia Lalama, WebMD, 12-30-16) But for women in study, these factors only helped with one type of incontinence. Explains difference between stress incontinence ("involuntary leakage of urine associated with an increase in abdominal pressure (i.e., coughing, laughing, sneezing)" and "Urgency urinary incontinence" which "is involuntary leakage of urine accompanied or immediately preceded by a sense of urgency. The underlying mechanisms of each type of incontinence differ and each type of incontinence is treated differently." Excellent overview of problems and approaches to dealing with them.
What is Urinary Incontinence (Urology Care Foundation) Shows relevant organs, body parts)
Unlocking the Mechanics of the Urinary Tract Infection (Lina Zeldovic, The Atlantic, 3-23-16) New research helps explain how bacteria send their victims running to the bathroom.
Bladder Infection (Urinary Tract Infection—UTI) in Adults (National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases, NIDDK) Definition and facts; symptoms and causes; diagnosis; treatment; eating, diet, and nutrition; clinical trials; related conditions & diseases; etc.)
FAQs on Urinary incontinence (American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists)
U section of directory (Cleveland Clinic)
Medications for Urinary Incontinence (Drugs.com)
New antibiotic appears to be effective against urinary tract infections, drug company says (Brenda Goodman, CNN, 11-3-22) The first new type of antibiotic developed in more than 20 years to treat urinary tract infections (UTIs) appears to be so effective that the pharmaceutical company stopped testing and will soon submit its data to the US Food and Drug Administration for approval. Gepotidacin works by blocking enzymes that bacteria need to unzip their DNA – their operating instructions – so they can multiply in the body. New antibiotics are desperately needed because over time, many kinds of bacteria have become resistant to the agents used to treat them.
Taking Control: Non-surgical Treatment Options for Urinary Incontinence (UI) in Women (Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality, or AHRQ) An aid only for women. Seven Web pages.
Overactive Bladder (Health Communities). Explore this site and find things like this article: How to Do Pelvic Floor Exercises.. Or start a Bladder Diary.
Incontinence affects more than 200M people worldwide, so why isn't more being done to find a cure? (Annika Wallin, Nils-Eric Sahlin, Wändi Bruine de Bruin, Independent UK, 2-20-18)
Urinary incontinence surgery in women: The next step (Mayo Clinic Staff) Understanding when sling procedures may be helpful, and why.
Drug firms helped create $3 billion overactive bladder market (Kristina Fiore, John Fauber and Matt Wynn, MedPage Today and Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, 10-15-16) In the push to expand the definition of the condition, and the people who need treatment, even the name 'overactive bladder' was created with marketing in mind. "The drugs themselves work moderately better than a placebo, studies show, but not more effectively than non-drug treatments that pose no risk. Such behavioral therapies include bladder training, pelvic muscle exercises, weight loss and fluid management. 'It’s easier to prescribe medications than to explain the non-pharmacological treatments,' said Amir Qaseem, vice president of clinical policy at the American College of Physicians."
New vaginal mesh material could help thousands of women affected by life changing complications (University of Sheffield, via Science Daily, 2-13-18) Scientists have developed a material that could be used as an alternative to the current vaginal mesh material, polypropylene, used to treat pelvic organ prolapse and stress urinary incontinence.
Urinary incontinence products (MedlinePlus) Helpful overview info on adult diapers and underwear (MUCH more common than you might expect), disposable and reusable underpants, products for men and for women that you may never have heard of (drip collector, condom catheter, Cunningham clamp, pessary, urethral insert)
How To Receive Incontinence Supplies Through Medicaid (Aeroflow Urology) Medicare will not cover geriatric incontinence supplies, but in most cases, Medicaid will cover them at little to no cost to the patient.
Incontinence pads, compared (National Incontinence)
When Bathroom Runs Rule the Day (and Night) (Jane E. Brody, Well, NY Times, 12-12-16)
Urge Incontinence (Health Guide, NY Times) AKA "overactive bladder."
• This explanation (from David Shields's delightfully informative book about the aging process is helpful: The Thing About Life Is That One Day You'll Be Dead): "When you're a young adult, the reflex that tells you it's time to urinate occurs when your bladder is half full. For people over age 65, the message isn't received until your bladder is nearly full." (In other words, never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.) So....Yes, we take more runs to the bathroom as we age, but this next entry is about the pharmaceutical industry's campaign to create a new disease ("overactive bladder") to market drugs. Check out: Overactive Bladder: "Pharmacia instrumental in creating new disease" says Former VP (John Mack 4-5-09)
Treating Incontinence in Women with Osteoporosis (Roni Caryn Rabin, Well, NY Times, 2-24-16) “The main message for women who have osteoporosis is that they should do pelvic floor exercises even if they don’t have incontinence, because fractures of the lumbar spine cause them to be slumped, and that puts more pressure on the pelvic floor,” said Dr. Dumoulin.
Overactive bladder? You might think so after seeing Toviaz ad (Consumer Reports blog, 4-7-10)
The Rising Popularity Of 'Granny Panties' Could Be Tied To A Healthier Perception Of Beauty (Jamie Feldman, HuffPost, 5-28-15), which is a response to a NY Times piece: Young Women Say No to Thongs (Hayley Phelan, NY Times, 5-27-15). Thongs are not so in, for good reasons.
Enduring Incontinence in Silence (Martica Heaner, NY Times, 10-25-05) "As common as this condition is -- estimates suggest that 25million Americans have experienced some loss of bladder control -- most tend to suffer in silence. The National Association for Continence conducted a survey last year and found that up to 64 percent of the people with the symptoms were not doing anything to manage the condition."
Coca-Cola treatment of phytobezoars (Wikipedia) The presence of a bezoar is a relatively infrequent disorder that affects the gastrointestinal system. A vegetarian friend of mine had a portion of his intestine removed in ER because of a bowel obstruction from an accumulation of carrots. edamame, etc. eaten late at night and not well chewed. Kind of like a fur ball, but more painful. Only by chance did I stumble across this Wikipedia article that mentions the use of Coca-Cola or Adolph's Meat Tenderizer to dissolve bezoars of the stomach. And be warned: "Phytobezoars, are most common and consist [sic] undigested, lignin, cellulose, and tannin, celery, pumpkins, grape skins, prunes, raisins, vegetables and fruits. Phytobezoars can form after eating persimmons and pineapples. These are more difficult to treat and are referred to as diospyrobezoars."

Knee and hip replacement and other fixes for body parts

Medicare opens new push on hip, knee replacement in effort to follow patients more closely, head off complications (Ricardo Alonso-Zaldivar, AP, in Wash Post, 3-31-16) The idea: to follow patients more closely to smooth their recovery and head off unwanted complications that increase costs.
A year after CMS rule went into effect, two-thirds of hospitals had done nothing (John Gever, MedPage Today, 3-9-23) A year after CMS rule went into effect, two-thirds of hospitals had done nothing. Only about one-third of hospitals had met the legal requirement to make price lists for at least one type of joint replacement procedure openly available.
Ankle Docs See Falling Medicare Payments ( John Gever,, MedPage Today, 3-9-23) From 2000 to 2020, Medicare reimbursements for ankle arthroplasty (surgical replacement) have fallen more than 30% after adjusting for inflation, and payments for ankle arthrodesis (surgery to fuse the bones of your ankle into one piece) declined nearly 7%, a researcher said here.
A New Set of Knees Comes at a Price: A Whole Lot of Pain (Jane E. Brody, Health, NY Times, 2-8-05). Total knee replacement may be more painful if your doctor prescribes the minimal dose of opioids, which many do (which interferes with rehabilitation), and if your insurance doesn't cover the amount of rehabilitation you need, you may have to pay out of pocket for it. Whatever you do, says my friend Judy Thomsen, do all the exercises you are asked to do in the six weeks before surgery -- especially the ones for your Achilles tendon.
What Are NSAIDs for Arthritis? NSAIDs -- nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs -- are a type of pain reliever. At prescription doses, these drugs also curb inflammation. How and when taking these for anything but short-term relief can have serious side effects. NSAIDs include Advil and Motrin (ibuprofen), Aleve (naproxen sodium), and Ascriptin, Bayer, Ecotrin (aspirin).
What’s New in Knee Osteoarthritis Treatments? (WebMD, 6-21-19) See also the Living with Knee Pain series:
---11 Knee Pain Dos and Don’ts (WebMD,12-18-18)
---Exercises for Knee Osteoarthritis
---Walking to Ease Knee Pain (Mary Jo DiLonardo, WebMD, 12-22-16)
---A Look at Your Knee
---Surgery used to treat knee osteoarthritis
---When to consider knee replacement surgery
Gout in Knee: Is Your Knee Pain a Sign of Gout? (CARINA STANTON, CreakyJoints.org) Gout frequently flares in your knee, but you may not always know that your knee pain is due to gout. Here’s how to tell, since prompt treatment can reduce your risk of complications.
---Painspot What’s causing your joint, back, or neck pain? PainSpot will ask you a simple set of questions about your pain symptoms and help you figure out why you’re in pain. Use your PainSpot results to help you and your doctor get to the bottom of your pain.
3 Years Later, Knees Made for Dancing (Jane E. Brody, NY Times, Health, 6-3-08)
When It Comes to Severe Pain, Doctors Still Have Much to Learn (Brody, 2-15-05)
Knee Replacement Specialists (Globe1234, 12-5-20) A critical look at "total knee arthroplasty," including what medical companies paid to various doctors and where to find into on legal actions against doctors.
If You Tear a Knee Ligament, Arthritis Is Likely to Follow in 10 Years (Gina Kolata, NY Times, 11-6-17) “It’s like a dirty little secret,” said Kocher, who is also the associate director of the division of sports medicine at Boston Children’s Hospital. “It’s not that anyone is covering up. It’s just that it’s not well known.” The number of A.C.L. operations at 26 children’s hospitals in the United States has soared as more children and adolescents play sports that involve twisting the knee, like soccer and basketball, and often participate year-round....“If a 15-year-old gets arthritis in 10 years, knee replacement is not a great option at age 25"...."A person can have only two or three knee replacements in a lifetime."
Lubricant Shots for Knee OA: No, They Really Don't Help (John Gever, MedPage Today, 7-6-22) Meta-analysis of hyaluronic acid trials throws serious shade on common practice by John Gever, Contributing Writer, MedPage Today July 6, 2022) It was apparent that the injections were not markedly helpful, although measurable benefit was demonstrated,
Jane Brody's New Knees (Tara Parker-Pope, Well, NY Times, 6-3-08)
What Do You Want to Know About Total Knee Replacement? (Samuel Greenguard, HealthLine, 4-30-12) This will take you to a whole set of Q&A pieces about knee surgery (and alternatives).
Understanding Knee Replacement Costs: What's On the Bill? (Samuel Greengard, HealthLine, 2-23-15) See also Recovery Timeline for Total Knee Replacement: Rehabilitation Stages and Physical Therapy.
Runner's Knee (WebMD)
Regular exercise, healthy diet may help reduce knee pain for overweight adults with diabetes (News-Medical.net, 7-24-15)
New Bill Aims to End Racial Disparities in Amputations ( Lizzie Presser, ProPublica, 10-19-2020) Informed by a ProPublica article investigating why Black Americans were three times more likely to undergo diabetic amputations, five members of congress are working to fund screening and enhance diagnostics in an effort to save limbs.
The Black American Amputation Epidemic (Lizzie Presser, ProPublica, 5-19-2020) By one measure, diabetic amputations are the most preventable surgery in the country. "But black patients were losing limbs at triple the rate of others. The doctor put up billboards in the Mississippi Delta. Amputation Prevention Institute, they read. He could save their limbs, if it wasn’t too late." Underlying message of this investigative story: the importance of policies to support access to clinically appropriate PAD screening and treatment for America’s most at-risk patient populations.
The sound of a knee cracking amplified is the actual worst sound ever (Science Alert, 5-31-16) A team from Georgia Institute of Technology has been investigating ways that will allow them to tell a healthy knee from a bad 'crunchy' knee, without having to open it up or run a bunch of X-rays and scans.
Joint Pain Alliance on Facebook posts links to news and articles about knee pain and alternatives to knee replacement surgery.
'Not a Haircut': Two Knees, Same Day ... More Risk? (Cheryl Clark, Medpage Today, 2-14-19) Evidence, experience mixed on simultaneous bilateral knee replacement. Simultaneous bilateral total knee arthroplasty (SBTKA) is a procedure most surgeons interviewed spoke about with caution. "Some doctors are extremely reluctant, or outright refuse to do SBTKAs on anyone and not just because of the higher complication rates, several told MedPage Today. That's in part because payers reimburse surgeons half the full rate for replacing the second knee -- Medicare allows around $1,500 for CPT code 27447 -- during the same operation, which means a $2,250 allowance for both knees at the same time instead of $3,000 for two separate surgeries."
12 Tips for Walking When You Have Bad Knees (Wendy Bumgardner, VeryWellFit, 7-25-19)
4 Exercises to Maintain Healthy Knees (Brett Sears, PT, VeryWellHealth, 7-5-19)

What I Wish We Had Known About Hip Replacements Before My Husband’s Surgery (Judy Kirkwood, Third Age, June 2016)
It’s Never Too Early to Think About Bone Health (Melinda Wenner Moyer, Well Newsletter, NY Times, 9-29-22) A new study predicts hip fractures will nearly double worldwide by 2050. Here’s how to avoid them.
Cost of a total hip replacement? Your guess is as bad as theirs (Sam Gold, Advisory Board, 2013)
7 Ways to Prevent Hip Injuries (Reyna Gobel, AARP, 4-25-23) "Some 300,000 Americans fracture their hips each year, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). These injuries can be extremely dangerous and debilitating. About 1 in 5 of those who fracture their hips will die within a year, according to a recent study. To avoid hip fractures, follow these tips for healthy hips." Read in particular about how important it is (especially in older people) to eat enough protein and to eat it at the right time of day, so it can help the body do its work developing strength.
A New Hip, A New Dance (Judith Sachs, 10-11-14)
The Mysterious Case of 'Vanishing Bone' and Hip Replacements Gone Wrong (Carey Goldberg, Shots, NPR, 3-11-18) As chief of Massachusetts General Hospital's joint replacement surgery service, William H. Harris was sent a mystifying patient, a prominent lawyer from San Francisco whose hip replacement had gone badly awry. "...soon it wasn't just one patient or two whose replacement hips were being attacked by this bone-eating disease. It was thousands — then hundreds of thousands. The longer people had their replacement hips, the higher the risk. In some, their bones became so weak, just walking could make them snap." So began a medical mystery whose resolution is described at length in Vanishing Bone: Conquering a Stealth Disease Caused by Total Hip Replacements by William H. Harris.
• Learn about devices such as the reacher-grabber (this particular one by Ettore), which helps you pick something up off the floor if you can't bend over or squat, and is also good for grabbing things off shelves or high places. My friend P recommends, after back surgery, a five-piece Sammons Preston kit for hip and knee replacement, which includes a 32-inch reacher-grabber, a put-on-your-socks aid, a long plastic shoe horn, and a bendable 18-inch-handled sponge. There is a comparable RMS Premium hip or knee replacement kit. You don't need a hip or knee replacement to find the various devices helpful.

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Preventing falls + learning how to fall + how to get up

"Falls are the leading cause of accidental death, and the seventh leading cause of death in people age 65 or over. Falling once when you’re older doubles your chances of falling again, according to the CDC."

     It is important to be aware of fall hazards and ways to prevent them, says the Association of Health Care Journalists. On videos listed below, if there's an ad, there's usually an option to stop it after a second or two.
     Among suggestions to limit falls in your home: Get rid of throw rugs, don't wear flip-flops or slippers to walk in (wear shoes), provide adequate lighting, install stair rails and lighting wherever you have steps, remove things you can trip over (books, shoes, etc.) from stairs and places where you walk, install grab bars next to toilet and in shower and bathtubs. 


The Art of Falling Safely (Michael Zimmerman, AARP, 11-28-17) A professional stunt woman's) four-point plan for a safe crash landing, briefly below; see the AARP piece for illustrations and Alexa Marcigliano's explanations (broadly, “Be smooth, don’t panic, stay loose”).
1: Stay bent (knees and elbows). When you're rigid, you're more likely to suffer a set of injuries called FOOSH — doctor speak for "Fall on outstretched hand." The result is often a broken wrist or elbow.
2. Protect your head. (Falling forward, turn face to side; falling backward, tuck it to chin.)
3. Land on the meat, not the bone.
4. Keep falling. "The more you roll with the fall, the safer you will be."
Advanced trick: "In stunts, we do something called slapping out," Marcigliano notes. "As you fall, let your body roll, and extend your arm palm-down, to slap the ground and stop yourself." In general:

How to fall without injury (Harvard Health, 9-14-23)
Plan for a soft landing: Think of yourself as a pilot and use the two to three seconds going down to actively plan a soft landing.
   Lean forward into the fall—this gives you some control over direction.
   Fall sideways, if possible.
   Aim toward open areas and toward grass or dirt rather than concrete.
   Aim away from other people and away from objects that can cause puncture wounds or fractures.
   Swing your arms sideways to direct your fall.
   Twist your shoulder to protect your head.
   Keep your knees bent and your feet down.
   Fall like a sack of beans—relax everything.
   Fall on the soft, fleshy places, like your butt and thighs. These areas have more protection and are lower to the ground.
   As you complete the fall, try to roll to your side in a ball.This will spread the impact to reduce injury and stop you from rolling further.
Consider getting the Harvard Medical School's book Preventing Falls

**** How to get up from the floor (after a fall) MacGyver style! Occupational therapist Rhonda B. teaches creative "out of the box" thinking for getting up from the floor after a fall in the home. Watch to the end, where she shows how to get up if injured. (Practice this with friends!) And see Falls – Equipment to Help You Get Up Again (from Homeability, which she founded).
• My friend KL reported, after her husband's fall and inability to get back up again: "The care company's manager said when he falls and can't get up just call the fire department. We called them, they came over, picked him up, and said to call them any time this happens again."

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Simple Steps to Prevent Falls (AARP, 2017) Carefully inspect your house — inside and out — and consider making these changes that will increase the safety of the home.
9+ How to Get Up and Down from the Floor: The spiral (10-minute video) Cynthia Allen, a Feldenkrais practitioner and senior trainer in Movement Intelligence, demonstrates, explains, and leads the process.
How to Get Up From the Floor After Falling, Safely! (video, 8 minutes) Bob + Brad demonstrate safe techniques to use after a fall. You've fallen in your house, you're all alone, Boom, you're on the floor. Here's what to do.
Postural Hypotension: What it is & How to Manage It (CDC) Postural hypotension—or orthostatic hypotension—is when your blood pressure drops a lot when you go from lying down to sitting up, or from sitting to standing. When your blood pressure drops, less blood can go to your organs and muscles. This can make you more likely to fall. Requires adjusting medication type or amount.
Senior Safety Advice. A YouTube channel with certified senior home safety specialists Esther Kane and Robin Schiltz. Their demonstrations/explanations may be especially helpful for the elderly or pregnant. They come with ads, which you can click out of after a few seconds.
How to get In and Out of a Bathtub with a Bad Knee (YouTube video, Senior Safety Advice, 3-5-21) Excellent demonstration and explanation. a short video on how to get out of a bathtub safely if you don't have grab bars or safety bars. *NOTE - this video is ONLY showing you how to get out of the tub if you get in and find you can't get out! If you have bad knees, this will likely NOT be a good solution for you as you will need to kneel to get out of the tub. You do need upper body strength, whether you have one or two bad knees. With two bad knees you may also need to buy a bathtub lift (especially if it's a chronic condition) or a walk-in tub(for elderly adults). See also Are Walk-In Tubs Safe for Seniors?(Robin Schiltz, Senior Safety Advice)
Home Safety Tips(Homeability.com)

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Recent studies examine Rx medication use and fall risk in older adults (Liz Seegert, Covering Health, AHCJ, 6-16-21) According to researchers at Texas A&M University, those with dementia who regularly took pain medication and those with probable dementia who took pain medication two or more days a week in the prior month were more likely to fall than those without dementia. One study found that adults age 50 and older reporting medical cannabis use, prescription opioid use and misuse, prescription tranquilizer or sedative use and misuse were more likely to report an impairment. And older adults with impaired thinking were at greater odds of reporting the use of each of the three substances for both medical and non-medical use.
Medications Linked to Falls (CDC Fact Sheet) See also American Geriatrics Society 2015 Updated Beers Criteria for Potentially Inappropriate Medication Use in Older Adults
Medicines Risk Fact Sheet (CDC) Use this to identify medicines that put you at risk, potential side effects, and questions to ask your doctor.
Check for Safety: A Home Fall Prevention Checklist for Older Adults (CDC)
My Mobility Plan: What can you do to stay independent?
Fall Prevention Exercises for Seniors (Tech-enhanced Life) Good overview and helpful links to generally available resources.
How to Do a Maintenance Clean on Showers, Tubs, Garden Tubs (Angela Brown, who provides a playlist of advice on cleaning bathrooms (whether you do so yourself or hire a cleaner).

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How to Help Elderly Get Up From Floor

BoneBuilders Plus Class with Jerry Palazzo (YouTube video) Work out at home!
Afraid of Falling? For Older Adults, the Dutch Have a Cure (Christopher F. Schuetze and Jasper Juinen, NY Times, 1-2-18) In the Netherlands, an obstacle course is set up for "a class where the students ranged in age from 65 to 94." The obstacle course was clinically devised to teach them how to navigate treacherous ground without having to worry about falling, and how to fall if they did. The students practice walking the obstacle course and then they learn how to fall. Falling courses — especially clinically tested ones — are a fairly recent phenomenon
Ditch the Throw Rugs, Seniors! (HealthDay, 10-23-17) Hip fractures are more likely to follow indoor falls in warm weather than outdoor falls in icy weather, study finds. "The most common cause of both indoor and outdoor hip fracture? Tripping over an obstacle. Indoors, throw rugs were the most common obstacle cited. Falling out of bed was the second leading cause of indoor hip fractures. Outdoors, the other leading causes of hip fractures were being struck by a vehicle or falling from a vehicle, followed by accidents on stairs."
We All Come Tumbling Down (Jill Bjerke, Aging in Place with Grace).
Older Adult Falls: A Growing Danger (PDF, CDC fact sheet) Check home safety. Most falls happen at home.
---Get rid of hazards. Keep floors clutter free.
---Remove small rugs or tape them down or secure them.
---Add grab bars in the bathroom.
---Have handrails and lights installed on all staircases.
---Make sure there is plenty of light.
Room by Room Safety Tips (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, CDC)

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How to prevent falls (helpful Lorie Eber slideshare/powerpoint).
Learn NOT to Fall
Falls Among Older Adults (CDC statistics)
Falls Free Initiative (National Council on Aging)
Stay Independent--Prevent Falls (STEADI--Stopping Elderly Accidents, Deaths & Injuries) CDC fact sheet on how older adults can take action and prevent falls
Prevent Falls and Fractures (NIH Senior Health,National Institute for Aging) Excellent overview.
Hip Fractures Among Older Adults (CDC)
Preventing Falls: A Guide to Implementing Effective Community-Based Fall Prevention Programs (CDC)
Guide to Bedroom Fall Prevention (Slumber Yard)
Important Facts About Falls (CDC)
Birding with hiking poles (Marjorie Turner Hollman, Birdability, 4-9-21) "Hiking poles are not for everyone, but they have made the difference to me being able to say “yes!” to visiting many trails that otherwise felt off limits....On uneven surfaces, hiking poles provide great stability, since you have not just two but four points of contact with the trail." Marjorie has published a series of "easy walks" books, starting with Finding Easy Walks Wherever You Are.
Slipping and tripping: fall injuries in adults associated with rugs and carpets (Tony Rosen, Karin A. Mack, and Rita K. Noonan, Injury and Violence, PubMed, 2013) Falls are the leading cause of injuries requiring emergency treatment in adults aged 65 and older and lead to more hospital admission and deaths than any other type of trauma. They are also associated with increased premature mortality, loss of independence, and nursing home placement. In addition, fear of falling may lead to avoidance of activities, potentially reducing physical fitness and mobility and increasing social isolation, time spent at home, and depression. Fall injuries associated with rugs and carpets are common and may cause potentially severe injuries.

Should you buy a Medical Alert device? Which kind? Why? (Pat McNees)

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               Improving patient safety and preventing falls

               Managing back pain

               Practical tips for easing or preventing specific pain (including some back pain) and especially Home remedies for alleviating sciatica pain

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Preventing and dealing with frailty

You’re Not Just ‘Growing Old’ If This Happens To You (Judith Graham, Kaiser Health News, 12-8-16) Some health problems that senior citizens blame on “growing old” are actually signs of a more serious issue that can be treated. (1) Fatigue. You have no energy. You’re tired all the time. (2) Appetite loss. You don’t feel like eating and you’ve been losing weight. (3) Depression. You’re sad, apathetic and irritable for weeks or months at a time. (4) Weakness. You can’t rise easily from a chair, screw the top off a jar, or lift a can from the pantry shelf. (As to #4: "You may have sarcopenia — a notable loss of muscle mass and strength that affects about 10 percent of adults over the age of 60. If untreated, sarcopenia will affect your balance, mobility and stamina and raise the risk of falling, becoming frail and losing independence.")
Frailty is a medical condition, not an inevitable result of aging (Marlene Cimons, Washington Post, 12-10-12) Experts now regard frailty as a medical syndrome, that is, a group of symptoms that collectively characterizes a disease, one that probably has biological and genetic underpinnings and can afflict even those in middle age if they have some other debilitating chronic disease. Frail people usually suffer from three or more of five symptoms that often travel together. These include unintentional weight loss (10 or more pounds within the past year), muscle loss, a feeling of fatigue, slow walking speed, and low levels of physical activity. Refers to this medical article (which is rougher reading): Frailty in Older Adults: Evidence for a Phenotype (Linda P. Fried et al., Journal of Gerontology, 2001) “These are people at risk of very bad outcomes.”
The Challenge of Treating 'Frailty' (Richard Gunderman, The Atlantic, 12-8-14) Eat nutritional food. Exercise (even just a daily walk). Build relationships and cultivate a hopeful outlook (promote "psychological resilience"). "The fundamental problem with frailty is a reduced ability to bounce back from biological insults, such as infections and injuries..""A relatively minor illness can throw a frail patient into a downward spiral, sometimes leading to death." "For reasons not fully understood, some patients simply fare worse than others." "Frail people do not necessarily suffer from any single disease. As a result, they often fall through the cracks."
Learning to spot frailty (Judith Graham, The New Old Age, NY Times, 6-21-13) Few doctors watch for this. “I tell my patients, ‘Walk for 10 to 15 minutes faster than a dog walks, and find a couple of bean cans and lift them up and down for five minutes each day in any direction,’” Dr. Morley said. “That’s roughly what people need to do.” Arrange an evaluation by a physician when an older person answers “yes” to at least three.
• Are you fatigued?
• Do you have difficulty walking up one flight of steps?
• Are you unable to walk more than one block?
• Do you have more than five illnesses?
• Have you lost more than 5 percent of your weight in the last six months?
Other tests recommended in the consensus statement include questions about walking speed (slow walking can be a sign of frailty), grip strength (a weaker grip is an indication), the extent of physical activity, and memory complaints.
A Senior’s Guide to Understanding and Overcoming Frailty (Coach Marty, Great Living Today, 1-6-16) Practical tips: things to do.
The Frailty Syndrome (Zachary J. Palace, MD, CMD, and Jennifer Flood-Sukhdeo, Today's Geriatric Medicine, 2014) Although it lacks a standardized clinical definition, older adults’ frailty warrants special considerations in terms of treatment and nutritional needs.
Understanding frailty (Frank Lally and Peter Crome, Postgraduate Medical Journal, 2007)

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Senior discounts, grants, good deals, and budget tips

Restaurants offering discounts to seniors (Living on the Cheap) And ask any restaurant you go to if they offer such discounts.
Financial Assistance for Seniors (Grants for Seniors) Volunteers keep expanding listings about financial assistance for seniors to help with health care, rent, housing, food, clothing, transportation, daily life and so on. See also Grants for Seniors, including Dental assistance for seniors, Home repair grants for seniors, and Companion dogs for seniors.
Travel discounts for seniors (Living on the Cheap) See also Sneaky travel charges to avoid.
The top credit cards for Global Entry and TSA PreCheck (Million Mile Secrets)
The Costs of Aging: A National Aging in Place Handbook (National Aging in Place Council) Lots of practical advice; read it online, free.
Drivers Surprised to Learn How Much They Can Save on Car Insurance (Improve Insurance, Personal Finance Tips) Did you know that you could get an extremely huge discount on car insurance if you drive less than 50 miles per day and live in a qualified zip code?
Military Benefits (call and ask if the same outfits offer senior discounts)
Senior Discounts (Sixty andMe) Discounts for restaurants, insurance, health and wellness providers, car rentals, travel, hotels and resorts, shopping & groceries, transportation, finances, technology and wireless, cell phones, internet and landlines plans, gas and auto services, entertainment, and education.
The Best Senior Citizen Discounts in Dining, Travel, and Retail (Tough Nickel)
Senior Discounts Scroll down for Senior Living's master discount list (retail, grocery stores, restaurants, leisure activities, transportation, cell phones and internet service). Ask your local grocery store (etc.) if there's a day when seniors get discounts.


Have I overlooked good deals for seniors? Let me know!

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Positive (and realistic) aging

"Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many."
Finding a new kind of fulfillment in the golden years

“The day will come when, after harnessing space, the winds, the tides, and gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love.
And on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, we shall have discovered fire.
~Pierre Teilhard de Chardin


"Happiness is over-rated. I’d rather be full of life--the joys and the downers." ~ Paulette Harvey


'Been sorting through old papers & came upon the funeral program for a British pal who died far too young.
It included a note Winston Churchill wrote in 1915 to his wife, Clementine.
Should he die first, he said, "If there is anywhere else I shall be on the look out for you."'
~ @ClydeHaberman, 5-27-21

"When it's over, I want to say: all my life I was a bride married to amazement."
~ Mary Oliver


"The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time." ~ Bertrand Russell
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It's Good to Remember: We Are All on Borrowed Time (Anne Lamott, Washington Post) So many indignities are involved in aging, and yet so many graces, too.
David Brooks Interview: How To Live A Meaningful Life (YouTube video) A wise, humanly practical, and encouraging talk for young and old, with a reasonable, practical base.
How to Change Your Mind-Set About Aging (Holly Burns, NY Times, 9-20-23) People who think positively about getting older often live longer, healthier lives. A decades-long study of 660 people published in 2002 showed that those with positive beliefs around getting older lived seven and a half years longer than those who felt negatively about it. Since then, research has found that a positive mind-set toward aging is associated with lower blood pressure, a generally longer and healthier life and a reduced risk of developing dementia.
"Take it easy, but take it." ~ Woody Guthrie
Eight reasons I'm happy to be my age (Kim France, Girls of a Certain Age, 9-20-23) Thoughts on teetering on the verge of 60. “I no longer feel the need to be the coolest/funniest/smartest/cutest person in the room…”
What the Longest Study on Human Happiness Found Is the Key to a Good Life (Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz, The Atlantic, 1-19-23) The Harvard Study of Adult Development has established a strong correlation between deep relationships and well-being. The question is, how does a person nurture those deep relationships? "having healthy, fulfilling relationships is its own kind of fitness—social fitness—and like physical fitness, it takes work to maintain." The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness by Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz.


"Remember that there are only three kinds of things anyone need ever do.
(1) Things we ought to do
(2) Things we've got to do
(3) Things we like doing.
I say this because some people seem to spend so much of their time doing things for none of the three reasons, things like reading books they don't like because other people read them.
Things you ought to do are things like doing one's school work or being nice to people.
Things one has got to do are things like dressing and undressing, or household shopping.
Things one likes doing—but of course I don't know what you like. Perhaps you'll write and tell me one day."
~ C. S. Lewis, Letter to Sarah, 3rd April 1949

Nice News "Wake up to good news." Read, for example, This Man Built His Mom a Tiny Home, Then Founded a Company Teaching Others to Make Their Own and Inside the Life of Eric Carle, “The Very Hungry Caterpillar” Author Who Got a Late Career Start.

Aging Well: Surprising Guideposts to a Happier Life from the Landmark Harvard Study of Adult Development by George Vaillant. Harvard University followed 824 subjects from their teens to old age. Vaillant uses their stories to illustrate the surprising factors involved in reaching happy, healthy old age.

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‘What’s the point of a risk-free life?’ Deborah Levy on starting again at 50 (The Guardian, 3-24-18) At 50, two decades of stable family life fell apart. In this extract from her memoir, the novelist recalls finding strength in the chaos – and a new voice. The memoir: The Cost of Living: A Working Autobiography
Old Is Good (Constant Commoner) Ramona Grigg's blog. "I'm old. I'm going to talk about it." See also Widow's Walk.
It’s never too late: elderly high-achievers (Michael Segalov, The Guardian, 2-21-21) Several inspiring mini-bios.
Advice from a 104-year-old PhD student (Video by Megan Janetsky, BBC Reel, interviewing Lucio Chiquito, who submitted his PhD thesis at the age of 104. With subtitles. The Life Project: New pathways for achieving your life milestones
Want to Be Happy? Think Like an Old Person (John Leland, photos by Edu Bayer, NY Times, 12-29-17) "Nearly three years ago, I started following the lives of six New Yorkers over the age of 85, one of the fastest-growing age groups in America....Nearly three years ago, I started following the lives of six New Yorkers over the age of 85, one of the fastest-growing age groups in America....Older people report higher levels of contentment or well-being than teenagers and young adults. The six elders put faces on this statistic. If they were not always gleeful, they were resilient and not paralyzed by the challenges that came their way. All had known loss and survived. None went to a job he did not like, coveted stuff she could not afford, brooded over a slight on the subway or lost sleep over events in the distant future. They set realistic goals. Only one said he was afraid to die." Drawn from Leland's book, Happiness Is a Choice You Make: Lessons from a Year Among the Oldest Old. See also Six Elderly New Yorkers Provide Lessons on Aging: What One Reporter Learned (John Leland, Times Insider, NY Times, 6-8-15) Research showed that people in their 70s and 80s, far from wallowing in despair, were happier than their younger counterparts. What did they know that younger people did not?
The Joy of Being a Woman in Her 70s (Mary Pipher, Opinion, NY Times, 1-12-19) "Our country’s ideas about old women are so toxic that almost no one, no matter her age, will admit she is old. In America, ageism is a bigger problem for women than aging....Yet, most of the women I know describe themselves as being in a vibrant and happy life stage. We are resilient and know how to thrive in the margins. Our happiness comes from self-knowledge, emotional intelligence and empathy for others....By our 70s, we’ve had decades to develop resilience. Many of us have learned that happiness is a skill and a choice. We don’t need to look at our horoscopes to know how our day will go. We know how to create a good day....We may not have control, but we have choices." Cultivating the positives of aging. A good read, from her new book Women Rowing North: Navigating Life’s Currents and Flourishing as We Age. Plus: "Our happiness is built by attitude and intention. Attitude is not everything, but it’s almost everything....We can be kinder to ourselves as well as more honest and authentic....our true selves speak more loudly and more often."

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Resilience factors in older women could hold key to better quality of life (Liz Seegert, Covering Health, AHCJ, 6-22-23) "Why do some older people seem to weather storms and bounce back from setbacks better than others? Researchers from The Ohio State University found that higher education and lower stress, along with strong social support, higher self-rated health and lower risk of depression can help older women rebound from even major life events, including death of a partner. Conversely, most older women at greater risk of depression were also more likely to report lower resilience."
      "Where someone lives also matters. There was a noticeable difference in resilience scores based on neighborhood socioeconomic status (SES), with lower SES correlating with lower resilience scores. Almost half of the study participants lived in an area with moderate socioeconomic status, and several factors consistently linked to higher resilience only among these women — including living alone and spirituality."
Let's End Ageism (Ashton Applewhite's brillian TED talk, April 2017) It's not the passage of time that makes it so hard to get older. It's ageism, a prejudice that pits us against our future selves -- and each other. Ashton Applewhite urges us to dismantle the dread and mobilize against the last socially acceptable prejudice. "Aging is not a problem to be fixed or a disease to be cured," she says. "It is a natural, powerful, lifelong process that unites us all." Fully powered with transcript, reading list, footnotes, etc. And check out the book, This Chair Rocks: A Manifesto Against Ageism

•  "When expectations and external reality do not meet, it is expectations (perceptions) that dictate how a person feels about his or her life. Carl Rogers, the late psychologist and educator stated it best: 'Perception is reality.' ~psychotherapist Milton Trachtenburg
A New Take on Women and Aging (Clare Ansberry, WSJ, 1-9-19) Clinical psychologist Mary Pipher wrote “Reviving Ophelia,” a seminal book about adolescent girls, and now she explores the survival skills older women need to be happy: gratitude ("a skill that we build in response to pain and suffering"), managing expectations ("not everything that happens each day is going to be wonderful"), a sense of humor, and engagement with friends ("my mental health insurance program"). "I’m aware the runway is short. I try to work very hard to be in the moment and be present and grateful, but it’s easier said than done."
The secret to living longer may be your social life (Susan Pinker, TED talk, YouTube video) A 16-minute video worth watching, both for the overall message and for tips such as Getting a flu shot may be more of a factor in long life than exercising is. Saying hello to the mailman is also good for you!

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I hope I’ll be like this when I’m old (Bright Side) Jeanne Louise Calment had the longest confirmed human lifespan on record: 122 years and 164 days. It seems that fate strongly approved of the way Madam Calment lived her life.
‘Have a good day’: Boise librarian hides notes in books as part of guerrilla kindness project (Christina Lords, Idaho Statesman, 11-21-18) "The notes are a part of Thomas’ #guerrillakindnessBPL project that is steadily taking root at the Collister location on State Street. They are one way the library assistant is infusing kindness into an increasingly uneasy, demoralized world."
Ben's Bells Project Ben's Bells Kindness Education Programs are based on the belief that everyone has the capacity to be kind, and that kindness can be cultivated through intentional practice. See How to make Ben's Bells. Ben’s Bells are beautiful, ceramic wind chimes, handmade by the community. By the time one Ben’s Bell is complete, at least 10 people have been involved in its creation. Ben’s Bells are hung randomly throughout the community, in public spaces, for people to find and take home as a reminder to practice intentional kindness. The Centerpiece, in the shape of the Ben’s Bells flower, is painted a bright solid color and stamped with a ‘bb’ to represent Ben’s Bells. The single color provides balance and features the uniquely painted beads.
A good side of ageism? Kindness & civility may finally be yours! (Laurie Levy, Chicago Now, 10-11-13) "Another benefit of being 90 – you can say whatever you want as bluntly as you want with no blow back whatsoever.
Paradox of Aging: The Older We Get, the Better We Feel? (Press release, UC San Diego Health, 12-7-12)
Reporter Shares Life Lessons From A Year With 'The Oldest Old' (Terry Gross interviews John Leland, author of Happiness Is a Choice You Make: Lessons from a Year Among the Oldest Old "I think what people do really well in is when there's possibilities for interaction and closeness and making decisions in their own lives....There are a lot of bad nursing homes where there's just not enough staff, and people are confined to their beds for long periods of time....But even in the good nursing homes, the residents there often aren't making decisions of what sort of life they want, what kind of activities they want, what kind of interactions they want, what they want to eat, when they can eat....I think we'll want something where we have all the supports that people need - or that we need, but we want more individual decision-making."

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A Growing Number of People Are Navigating Retirement Alone. This Woman Is Spearheading a Movement to Change That (Elizabeth O'Brien, Money, 7-18-18) Carol Marak started the Elder Orphan Facebook Group for childless woman aged 80 to 84. "Members of the Elder Orphan Facebook group seek solace among one another, asking advice about everything from revocable trusts, to worries about leaving the working world, to what to cook on a weeknight when delivery pizza won’t cut it anymore." Suggestions: Establish a buddy system. Seek safeguards. Use advance directive forms to designate someone to make financial and medical decisions for you if you’re no longer able to make them for yourself.
Giant senior discount list (The Senior List)
Passing 50: Blending the Gifts of Our Aging with the Passion of Our Youth (Mark Greene, The Good Men Project, 7-29-13) " Just as my youth goes, the old man I will be is coming. As much as I'd like to bar the door, he's out there, just raising his hand to knock. I know that knock is coming. I can feel it in my right shoulder. In my knees when I push myself too hard. I feel it when a drowsiness creeps over me during a long day. Old age wakes me in the dead of night, worrisome thing that it is... Regrets wheedle in. Money gone wrong. Some empty aimless relationship I wasted precious years on, or the woman I should stayed with. People who have already died. People who got famous while I didn't. What you are in the world can seem vague and uncertain as you age. The long night of soul they call it."
Interview with an Old Person (Slate series). For example: “The Greatest Thing I Ever Did Was Marry My Wife” (Marissa Martinelli, Slate, 1-26-18) Meet Gary Goodson, age 82, from Idaho Falls, Idaho.
New wine in new bottles: the freshness of old age (Barry Dym, 5-23-17) A wise and refreshing reflecting on what's good about aging.

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What Old Age Is Really Like (Ceridwen Dovey, New Yorker, 10-1-15) Old age is perplexing to imagine in part because the definition of it is notoriously unstable. As people age, they tend to move the goalposts that mark out major life stages. Perceptual gaps between generations are large and persistent, with both negative and positive stereotypes that don't correspond with reality. 'It’s an exciting time, to have a brand-new feature of human experience—living longer—described by people as they live it, by people who have learned with age, as the late poet Adrienne Rich said, the year she turned eighty, to balance “dread and beauty.”'
Odds of Being a Champ at 95? Pretty Good (Robert Strauss, Opinion, NY Times, 3-11-15) Generations ago, there may have been a few older people participating in sports — “older” meaning maybe age 40 — but now there are age-group sports for almost everything. Age categorization is no longer limited to 40 and up; it extends to 60 and above, 70 and above, even 95 and above, as in Larry Johnson’s case.
How to Tap the Enormous Potential of an Aging Population (Michael Hodin, The Fiscal Times, 11-4-16) Hodin challenges our leaders in DC to look at the positive aspects of population aging through the lens of human potential, as opposed to simply seeing it as a cost to be overcome. How can we change the conversation from entitlements and death panels to helping the enormous surge of experienced individuals who now find themselves with additional time on their hands to contribute and achieve their full potential?
Need A Happiness Boost? Spend Your Money To Buy Time, Not More Stuff (Allison Aubrey, Shots, NPR, 8-28-17) A recent study published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences suggests that when people spend money on time-saving services such as a house cleaner, lawn care or grocery delivery, it can make them feel a little happier. By comparison, money spent on material purchases — aka things — does not boost positive emotions the way we might expect. (Do you feel guilty paying others to do tasks you don't enjoy or to help you do your errands? Get over it!)
The Secret to a Long Life (Video interview clips, by Deborah Acosta, Jacqueline Baylon, Nicole Fineman, and Amy Zerba, NY Times, 12-25-15) Here’s the secret to a long life, from those who’ve lived them. Companion to the previous article.
You Don't Look Your Age...and Other Fairy Tales by Sheila Nevins.

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We’re lucky if we get to be old, physician and professor believes (Tara Bahrampour, Wash Post, 1-23-16) Bill Thomas, founder of Eden Alternative and the Green House Projects, argues that "there is a “third” phase of life beyond adulthood that can be as rich as either of the phases that came before..." "Old and young are two distinct times of life, neither one better or worse than the other. He talks about the different ways brains process information and foster creativity at different times of life (the young are more literal and mathematical; the old are better at improvisation and making associations)." "“I’ve given up on the idea that change will come from inside the field. It will come, but it will come from the outside. And that’s where I’ll be.”
Flossie Lewis's Brief But Spectacular Take on Growing Old With Grace (PBS NewsHour, video and transcript). "Really growing old is when you discover that you haven't a reason to get through it anymore, and that you would like to go to sleep with a certain amount of dignity. Accepting the fact the body is going to go but the personality doesn't have to go, and that thing which is the hardest to admit is that character doesn't have to go."
A Gap Year for Seniors in Moldova (Dianne Lang, Senior Planet, 9-26-16) "Whether you’re a high-school senior or Medicare age, a gap year is a time for personal growth, an opportunity to re-evaluate what’s important to you and a way to bring new experiences to your next life stage. For many — including Stephen and Lisa — it’s also a chance to do public service....They signed on for the Peace Corps’ usual 27-month stint — three months of training and two years of service — in Moldova, a small, landlocked, country tucked between Romania and Ukraine."
Senior Planet: Aging with Attitude
Eldercare locator a public service of the U.S. Administration on Aging connecting you to services for older adults and their families. (Or call 1-800-677-1116.)
National Academy of Eldercare Locators

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• "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." ~ Mark Twain
Want to Live Past 100? Centenarians Share Secrets of Knee Bends and Nips of Scotch (Sharon Jayson, Kaiser Health News, 3-27-17) One 2015 Belgian study of centenarians born between 1893 and 1903 did focus on their living arrangements during ages 60 and 100 and found “in very old age, living with a spouse is beneficial for men but not for women, for whom living alone is more advantageous than living with a spouse.” Geriatrician Thomas Perls "said research shows that behaviors have a greater influence on survival up until the late 80s, since he said most people have the right genes to get there as long as their behaviors aren’t harmful. But once people reach the 90s and beyond, genetics play a more significant role. Common among centenarians: 'few smoke, nearly all of the men are lean, and centenarians have high levels of the “good cholesterol.” Studies show that whatever their stress level, they manage its well. And they’re related to other centenarians or have a parent or grandparent who lived past 80.'
Age-Stereotype Paradox: Opportunity for Social Change (Becca R. Levy, The Gerontologist, August 2017)

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How Therapy Can Help in the Golden Years (Abby Ellin, Well, NY Times, 4-22-13) Now, as "people are living longer, and the stigma of psychological counseling has diminished, [many seniors] are recognizing that their golden years might be easier if they alleviate the problems they have been carrying around for decades. It also helps that Medicare pays for psychiatric assessments and therapy....That members of the Greatest Generation would feel comfortable talking to a therapist, or acknowledging psychological distress, is a significant change. Many grew up in an era when only 'crazy' people sought psychiatric help."
Healthy and extraordinary brains reveal clues to aging well (Paige Bartlett, report from AAAS meeting, NASW, 2-22-18) "While most aging individuals have thinning of the outer layer of the brain, SuperAgers don’t. This layer, called the cortex, underlies many brain functions including higher processes, such as language and logical thinking, although the implications of its thinning aren’t yet clear. The SuperAgers also tend to have stronger social ties, reporting more positive relationships on scales of psychological well-being. This echoes other research demonstrating that strong, beneficial social connections lead to longer and healthier lives. Understanding why SuperAgers differ from their peers might lead to drug, lifestyle or technological interventions to slow or even stop cognitive decline in the elderly."
At least they have their happiness (in lieu of good health) (Bruce Horovitz, Kaiser Health News, USA Today, 9-3-17) Living with chronic disease often complicates life. The majority of adults 65 and over have multiple chronic conditions that contribute to frailty and disability, according to a 2013-14 report from the CDC. What do people whose lives are limited by chronic conditions do to cope? One man "has learned to use Alexa, the Echo’s built-in digital assistant, to help with seemingly simple tasks that are difficult with poor eyesight. To tell time, he simply asks Alexa. Beyond that, he avoids getting trapped in any frustration loops, such as trying to troubleshoot computer issues. During a recent technological tussle, he simply shut down the machine and turned on PBS and Charlie Rose. “Watching that show keeps my mind active,” he said. After taking time to de-stress, he was able to solve the tech issue. Hall finds some excuse to get out of his house every day....Mindfulness, which often involves deep, slow breathing that’s aimed at lowering your heart rate and calming you down, can be highly effective on older, ailing people, said Franco. “It’s simple. It doesn’t cost anything. You can do it and no one even knows you’re doing it.” One other thing often works like magic: helping others. “Once you start giving to others, you tend not to get stuck in your own aches and pains,” said Franco.
Older Really Can Mean Wiser (Benedict Carey, NY Times, 3-16-15)
The Growing Generational Divide (Silas House, NY Times, 5-8-15) "Sis taught [my daughters] that people of all ages have value, and revealed to them that multigenerational mixing can lead to true laughter, knowledge and mutual respect."

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"A man, after he has brushed off the dust and chips of his life, will have left only the hard, clean questions: Was it good or was it evil? Have I done well — or ill?"--John Steinbeck
Aging healthy and happy during your greater years (Gina Harkins, USA TODAY Best Years, 8-18-17) The ALIVE acronym stands for five healthy aspects of aging: activity, learning, intimacy, vitality and engagement.
Bingo? Pass. Bring on Senior Speed-Dating and Wine-Tasting. (Constance Gustke, NY Times, 11-11-16) Many community senior centers are getting up-to-date makeovers, helping people "stay active so they can age in place and connect with others.”
You Can Easily Enjoy Life In A Way Most People Don’t (Hannah Braime, Lifehack) Read about 25 simple ways you can enjoy your life more.
The Fine Art of Piddling (Rick Bragg, Southern Living) 'A piddler does not fix a leaky washing machine, or a slipping transmission, or a hole in a roof. Such work is necessary, and the more necessary a labor is, the farther from piddling it becomes.'

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Control Assets (David Solie, Aging Parents Insights, 6-25-16) "Control assets are game tools that help older adults overcome losses through tactical partnerships and recovery planning. They don’t change the game’s final outcome but they can dramatically alter the quality of the game’s experience. Control assets are best understood as essential resources and planning options that include: 1. Primary Care Physician Rapport. 2. Power Of Attorney Rapport. 3. Plan B Housing Option. 4. Accurate Funding Options. " Obviously, everyone one wants a competent power of attorney (POA) but for the final phase of life that is not enough. You need a POA who “gets you” and has no conflict of interest in being your voice and enforcer when control is compromised."
Wise Elders project brings generations together in community (Stephanie Franklin, The Black & White, 10-1-10) The Wise Elders program to give students the opportunity to learn about senior citizens in the Bannockburn neighborhood. Helen Pelikan, a former therapist, said the idea of the project stemmed from her sessions with patients, when she noticed the vital role elders play in families. The project pairs sophomores and juniors with neighborhood “elders,” residents 80 years or older, who the students interview from September to December. The interviews focus on important factors in the elders’ lives and the elders offer advice based on mistakes they made during their own life.
Old Masters at the Top of Their Game (Lewis H. Lapham, NY Times Magazine) After 80, some people don’t retire. They reign. Q&As with and photos of T. Boone Pickens, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Edward O. Wilson, Roy Haynes, Carmen Herrera, Ginette Bedard, Tony Bennett, Ellsworth Kelly, Christopher Plummer, Frank Gehry, Carl Reiner, R. O. Blechman, Senator Dianne Feinstein, and Betty White. (Interviews by Camille Sweeney.

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Four Benefits Of Aging Frances McDormand Would Love (Kristi Hedges, Forbes, 12-16-14) Our sense of well-being improves. We may experience flourishing creativity. We are better at managing social conflicts. We perform more consistently.
Centenarians Proliferate, and Live Longer (Sabrina Tavernise, Health, NY Times, 1-21-16)
70Candles! Women Thriving in Their 8th Decade by Jane Giddan and Ellen Cole. “Our bodies change as we age, even when we eat healthfully, exercise and try to take good care of ourselves. Sight, hearing, bones, joints, balance, mobility, memory, continence, strength and stamina — they will never be what they once were.” As described in Thriving at Age 70 and Beyond (Jane E. Brody, NY Times, 4-28-15)
A Star Who Has No Time for Vanity (Frank Bruni, NY Times, 10-15-14) Frances McDormand, True to Herself in HBO’s ‘Olive Kitteridge’
Using Card and Board Games to Keep Minds Sharp (Amy Zipkin, NY Times, 12-4-15) Organizations for chess, bridge and poker fill social and competitive needs of older adults.

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Lighter as We Go: Virtues, Character Strengths, and Aging by Mindy Greenstein and Jimmie Holland. Contrary to common wisdom, our sense of well-being actually increases with age.
The Fountain of Age by Betty Friedan (a study of aging from the author of The Feminine Mystique)
Old Age: A Beginners Guide by Michael Kinsley, which looks at the baby boomer generation as they approach the end of life.
• «It’s fine to be a perfectionist, I suppose--so long as you remember that the point of life is learning to live with imperfection.» — Pico Iyer (H/T David Bauer, Weekly Filet)
Ursula K. Le Guin on Aging and What Beauty Really Means (Brain Pickings) “There are a whole lot of ways to be perfect, and not one of them is attained through punishment.” Le Guin contrasts the archetypal temperaments of of dogs, cats, and dancers, from The Wave in the Mind: Talks and Essays on the Writer, the Reader, and the Imagination, from which Brain Pickings also extracts Ursula K. Le Guin on Being a Man
What it’s like to be 100 years old, in 10 charts (Lenny Bernstein, Wash Post, 5-5-14) Interesting results.
I Don't Want My Dying Thought to Be About My Weight (Jocelyn Pihlaja, The Mid, 6-18-15)
Creative Aging Programs in America, Directory, provided by National Center for Creative Aging.

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Aging Better With a Little Help From Our Friends (Patricia Corrigan, Next Avenue, 9-29-15) Who teaches us to grow older, to make the most of time when more years are behind us than ahead? Lessons Corrigan has learned.
Age of Actualization: A Handbook for Growing Elder Culture by David "Lucky" Goff and Alexandra Hart
Review in 'Changing Aging'. See also Growing an Elder Culture (David Goff's blog, at Changing Aging)
A Curriculum for Conscious Aging (Marilyn Schlitz, Cassandra Vieten, and Kathleen Erickson-Freeman, Noetic Now, Dec. 2011).
Human Values in Aging newsletter (Harry "Rick" Moody, Gerontological Society of America -- and AARP). You can sign up for this excellent free monthly e-newsletter, with great links to good quotations, events and reading material about aging wisely. Annoyingly, AARP constantly changes its links, so you may have to hunt.
Atul Gawande: "We Have Medicalized Aging, and That Experiment Is Failing Us" Michael Mechanic interviews Gawande, Mother Jones, 10-7-14)
Where Journalists Get Their Medical News (Writers and Editors blog post)
Aging Is Scary, and Life Is a Struggle. Why Keep Going? (Heather Havrilesky, Ask Polly New York, 9-17-14). Read the "Ask Polly" response, a lovely and thoughtful reflection on what's important in life.
They Had Fun podcast about people's good times in New York City. Curated day planning, for when you visit NYC.

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Recipe for Longevity: No Smoking, Lots of Friends (Laura Blue, Time, 7-28-10) See also Health Checkup: How to Live 100 Years (Time's special issue on longevity, February 2010)
This Old Man. Life in the nineties (Roger Angell, New Yorker, 2-17-14). Beautifully written and rings so true. Humor lightens his observations about the realities of aging. "We geezers carry about a bulging directory of dead husbands or wives, children, parents, lovers, brothers and sisters, dentists and shrinks, office sidekicks, summer neighbors, classmates, and bosses, all once entirely familiar to us and seen as part of the safe landscape of the day. It’s no wonder we’re a bit bent. The surprise, for me, is that the accruing weight of these departures doesn’t bury us, and that even the pain of an almost unbearable loss gives way quite quickly to something more distant but still stubbornly gleaming. The dead have departed, but gestures and glances and tones of voice of theirs, even scraps of clothing— that pale-yellow Saks scarf—reappear unexpectedly, along with accompanying touches of sweetness or irritation."
Why I Hope to Die at 75. Ezekiel J. Emanuel argues that society and families—and you—will be better off if nature takes its course swiftly and promptly. "As Crimmins puts it, over the past 50 years, health care hasn’t slowed the aging process so much as it has slowed the dying process....even if we manage not to become burdens to [our children], our shadowing them until their old age is also a loss. And leaving them—and our grandchildren—with memories framed not by our vivacity but by our frailty is the ultimate tragedy." Read Maureen Corrigan's review, 'This Old Man' Is A Wry, Nimble Take On Life, Aging And Baseball, of his book of essays This Old Man: All in Pieces.
Once More to the Lake (E.B. White, waxing nostalgic about the lake he spent his summers at, now almost but not quite the same as he takes his son there for the first time).
How To Be Old: The Thinking Person's Guide to Retirement by Richard Gerberding (adapter) and Marcus Tullius Cicero. “Someone who doesn’t have much in the way of inner resources will find all stages of life irksome,” wrote Cicero.

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What If Age Is Nothing but a Mindset (Bruce Grierson, NY Times Magazine, 10-22-14)
Gaining Momentum: A FrameWorks Communications Toolkit, a collection of resources designed to help advocates reframe aging in America.
Advanced Style (Ari Seth Cohen's YouTube videos, showing aging in a good light). See Mireille Silcoff's article, Why Your Grandpa Is Cooler Than You (NY Times Magazine, 4-16-13), partly a review of Advanced Style, Cohen's book of photos of street fashion on women over 60.
Silver Beauties (Rebecca Tan Hui Shan, AsiaOne Women, Straits Times, 5-11-15) According to global trends tracker Nielsen, the United States adult population above the age of 50 will control 70 per cent of disposable income by 2017
At 95, U-M Health System's oldest employee Fredda Clisham is leaving for her next adventure (Janet Miller, Ann Arbor News, 10-7-14). "There are four ingredients for a long life," says Clisham. "Attitude, diet (she’s a vegetarian), exercise and genes.”

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People Who Feel They Have A Purpose In Life Live Longer (Patti Neighmond, Morning Edition, NPR, 7-28-14)
Life Lessons from 100-Year-Olds (YouTube, LifeHunters TV, 12-23-16) Three centenarians are asked what their most valuable life lessons were, and also their regrets.
Introspective or Narcissistic? (David Brooks, Opinion, NY Times, 8-7-14) "When people examine themselves from too close, they often end up ruminating or oversimplifying....We are better self-perceivers if we can create distance and see the general contours of our emergent system selves — rather than trying to unpack constituent parts....Maturity is moving from the close-up to the landscape, focusing less on your own supposed strengths and weaknesses and more on the sea of empathy in which you swim, which is the medium necessary for understanding others, one’s self, and survival. "
Advice from Life's Graying Edge on Finishing with No Regrets (Jane E. Brody, Personal Health, NY Times 1-9-12). "I chose to live each day as if it could be my last - but with a watchful eye on the future in case it wasn't." A new book called 30 Lessons for Living: Tried and True Advice from the Wisest Americans (ed. Karl Pillemer) draws from interviews with more than 1000 older Americans from different economic, educational, and occupational strata who were interviewed as part of the ongoing Cornell Legacy Project (see some interviews here).
ChangingAging (blog of Bill Thomas, founder of the Eden Alternative)
Conscious Aging (Mariamne Paulus)
Life Is a Wheel: Love, Death, Etc., and a Bike Ride Across America by Bruce Weber
At Sixty-Five (Emily Fox Gordon, American Scholar, Summer 2013) After the excesses of youth and terrors of middle age, a writer faces the contingencies of being old
Creativity and Aging Study (NEA). In 2001 the NEA and GWU conducted a study in DC, Brooklyn, and San Francisco in which men and women aged 65 to103 participated in community-based art programs run by professional artists over two years, with positive effects on their health. These community-based cultural programs for older adults appear to reduce risk factors that drive the need for long-term care. The programs helped participants experience a sense of control—e.g., a sense of mastery in what they are doing—as well as meaningful social engagement with others.
The Top 5 Regrets of The Dying (Joe Martino. Collective Evolution, 4-27-13).
The game that can give you 10 extra years of life . Game designer Jane McGonigal's TED talk about how, when she found herself bedridden and suicidal following a severe concussion, she figured out how to get better. This is a good follow-up to the "top 5 regrets of the dying."

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Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder (an amusing oh-so-recognizable scenario, on a YouTube video). Approach the problems of aging with humor.
The Science of Older and Wiser (Phyllis Korkki, NY Times, Retirement, 3-11-14). A thoughtful, feel-good report on the nature of wisdom, for those of us with more time behind than ahead of us.
The Liberation of Growing Old (Anne Karpf, Opinion, NY Times, 1-3-15) 'A student of mine, nudging 60, recently called age “the great liberator.” Part of what she meant was that old people simply care less about what others think, but also, I think, that our sense of what’s important grows with age. We experience life more intensely than before, whatever our physical limitations, because we know it won’t last forever....Maggie Kuhn, the founder of the elder advocacy organization the Gray Panthers, argued that instead of making a fetish of independence, we should value the idea of interdependence between generations. Thus age-friendly cities, like Portland, Ore., rethink urban spaces to make them more accessible and encourage the integration of old people into communal life.'
Age as late wisdom: “A cultural and spiritual resource reclaimed from death in the same way the Dutch reclaim fertile land from the waste of the sea. During any one of those years, somebody who no longer has to worry about raising a family, pleasing a boss, or earning more money will have the chance to join with others in building a compassionate society where people can think deep thoughts, create beauty, study nature, teach the young, worship what they hold sacred, and care for one another.” ~ Theodore Roszak, America the Wise, as quoted in Human Values in Aging newsletter (12-1-19)
Age Doesn't Matter Unless You're a Cheese by Kathryn and Ross Petras (a gift book for those 70 and older, with quotations reflecting wisdom, humor, and experience from mostly famous people 70 and over)
Aging, as viewed by Maggie Kuhn. Liberating Aging , Maggie Kuhn in 1978, as interviewed by Ken Dychtwald (HuffPost 5-30-12). Followed by Remembering Maggie Kuhn: Gray Panthers Founder On The 5 Myths Of Aging . Maggie Kuhn: Old age is not a disease -- it is strength and survivorship, triumph over all sorts of vicissitudes and disappointments, trials and illnesses...."Senior citizen" is a euphemism which I reject as insulting and demeaning. I prefer to be called by my name, or, if not, I'd like to be identified as an "old person" or an "elder" for this is what I am.
21 Habits of Supremely Happy People
GPS for the Soul , a cluster of HuffPost stories about achieving well-being.


"If you can sit quietly after difficult news; if in financial downturns you remain perfectly calm; if you can see your neighbors travel to fantastic places without a twinge of jealousy; if you can happily eat whatever is put on your plate; you can fall asleep after a day of running around without a drink or a pill; if you can always find contentment just where you are: you are probably a dog." ~ Jack Kornfield


"Do not fear the aging of the body for it is the body's way of seeking the root." ~ -Lao Tzu 
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Life Lessons From the Oldest Old:

Happiness Is a Choice You Make

The Best of 85 and Up
"Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact.
Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth."
~ Marcus Aurelius


"I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve (or save) the world and a desire to enjoy (or savor) the world. This makes it hard to plan the day." 

~ E.B. White


Develop enough courage to stand up for yourself. And then stand up for someone else."

~Maya Angelou


"Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body,

but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!"

~ Hunter S. Thompson


My neighbor lived to be 109. This is what I learned from him. (David Von Drehle, Opinions essay, Washington Post, 5-22-23) An essay from the book The Book of Charlie: Wisdom from the Remarkable American Life of a 109-Year-Old Man by David Von Drehle
The art of being yourself (Caroline McHugh, video, 23-minute TED Talk, 2-15-13) Looking in a true mirror. "Since that day, I have never been the center of attention. You're the center of mine. And that's a very different feeling."
The Worst Patients in the World (David H. Freedman, The Atlantic, July 2019) Americans are hypochondriacs, yet we skip our checkups. We demand drugs we don’t need, and fail to take the ones we do. No wonder the U.S. leads the world in health spending. Every other high-income country in the world spends less than America does as a share of GDP, and surpasses us in most key health outcomes. 

    "Surely if we could just import Singapore's or Switzerland's health-care system to our nation, the logic goes, we'd get those countries' lower costs and better results." One study reports that 74 percent of the variation in life expectancy across counties is explained by health-related lifestyle factors such as inactivity and smoking, and by conditions associated with them, such as obesity and diabetes—which is to say, by patients themselves....The American health-care system has problems, yes, but those problems don't merely harm Americans—they are caused by Americans."
The Ethel Circle A closed Facebook group, a safe place for women to talk about aging.
The Ethel Articles for women who weren't born yesterday. For example:
---I’m 71 and I Still Remember Lust (Pat Olsen, The Ethel, 9-15-20)
---Need Extra Cash? Great Jobs for Older Workers (Jane Bokun, Work & Money, The Ethel, 10-18-21)
---6 Subtle Signs That Say: This Is Not a Very Nice Person ( Linda Yellin, The Ethel, 8-8-22)
---I Admit it. I'm Retired and Have Started to Feel Irrelevant (Ann Brenoff, Ageism, The Ethel, 2-21-22)
---How I Rewrote My Life Story Into Happier, Healthier Chapters (Nancy Sharp, Fulfillment, The Ethel, 8-8-22) You, too, can turn from victim into victor.
---After Their Husbands Dearly Departed, Sex Heated Up at 70, 80 and Beyond (Jan Tuckwood, Relationships, The Ethel, 7-25-22) Love remains the ultimate key to desire.
The Best of ‘85 and Up’: Life Lessons From the Oldest Old (John Leland, NY Times, 1-4-19) So much of what we think we know about old age comes from people who have never been old. But what does it look like to the people living it? In 2015, John Leland started following six people over age 85, and discovered how little he knew &mdash. A multi-article series, worth reading, even if you're young. It may give you perspective.
A Group Portrait of New York’s ‘Oldest Old’ (6-7-15) People age 85 and above are one of the city’s fastest growing groups, but they are almost invisible. Six New Yorkers share their stories of love, pain and abrupt change.
This is 60: Author Elissa Altman Responds to The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire (Oldster Magazine, "Having long Covid, I do feel older than I think I should." I think of myself at three ages: my current age, 60; 35; and my so-called biological age, which is (apparently) 70.
Oldster questionnaires and Interviews (Sara Botton's Oldster Magazine) Interviews with "oldsters" of all ages...
---Personal Essays (Oldster)
---Oldster Link Roundups
---The Oldster Podcast
What Home Means to New York’s Oldest Old (7-24-15) Ruth Willig, 91, said she was starting to make peace with her new assisted living residence, but she was still angry at being displaced from her old one. Home, for some, is a score sheet of all the things they have given up with age. For others it is something they cling to.
The Fragile Patchwork of Care for New York’s Oldest Old (9-27-15) Unpaid caregivers provide 90 percent of long-term care for the old or disabled, for those lucky enough to have someone. No one wants to rely on their kids in old age, but it happens — with love and with friction.
As Lives Lengthen, Costs Mount (11-15-15) The fear of outliving your money. Fred Jones reached old age with a good pension and savings. Ping Wong had almost nothing. How she ended up more comfortable and supported.

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Jonas Mekas Refuses to Fade (10-18-15) At 92, the filmmaker shows no sign of slowing down. Why do people like him flourish in old age? See also The Prosecution Resets in a 1964 Obscenity Case (10-30-15)
What They Don’t Tell You About Getting Old (Roger Rosenblatt NY Times, 9-30-23) There are many joys to getting older, but getting out of taxis is not one of them. What you don’t want to do is get your left foot caught under the front right seat before you try to swing your right foot toward the door; otherwise, you’ll topple over while attempting to pay the fare, possibly injuring your ankle, and causing the maneuver to go even more slowly.
At Year’s End, Catching Up With New York’s ‘Oldest Old’ (12-30-16) Year Two: no weddings, two deaths, some Hershey’s Kisses and a move to a nursing home.
Want to Be Happy? Think Like an Old Person (12-29-17) Year Three: the gang of four continues
When Old News Is Good News: The Effect of 6 Elderly New Yorkers on One Middle-Aged Reporter (1-3-18) The series explored what old age looked like to the people who were living it. What it did not explore is what effect these elders were having on the middle-aged reporter who was spending more and more time with them. 'One day in his apartment, Fred Jones asked me my definition of happiness, then gave me his own. “Happiness to me is what’s happening now,” he said. The apartment, a cluttered wreck that was up two flights of stairs he could barely climb, was an unlikely place to look for happiness, and Mr. Jones, whose health was failing, was an unlikely spokesman. But he never dwelt on his problems.

      “If you’re not happy at the present time, then you’re not happy,” he said. “Some people say, if I get that new fur coat for the winter, or get myself a new automobile, I’ll be happy then. But you don’t know what’s going to happen by that time. Right now, are you happy?” Whenever I asked him the happiest time of his life, he said without hesitation, “Right now.”

      “Happiness Is a Choice You Make"
At 116, She Has Outlived Generations of Loved Ones. But Her Entire Town Has Become Family. (Soumya Karlamangla, NY Times 2-7-24) From her hundredth birthday on, Ms. Ceccarelli’s birthday each year has been marked by a party, a lunch or, in the Covid era, a parade, open to all Willits residents. “I like the small town, you know more people,” Ms. Ceccarelli told the local paper just before her 107th birthday party.
How the Oldest Old Can Endure Even This (John Leland, NY Times, 1-1-21) No visitors. No friends at the dining table. Neighbors dying without notice. But many older adults have proved resilient during the pandemic, a phenomenon known as “crisis competence.” Like the rest of us, Ruth Willig, 97, found pandemic life depressing. Lately things have been improving.
Notes From the End of a Very Long Life (1-6-22) With the death of Ruth Willig at 98, a Times series on a set of the oldest New Yorkers — chronicled over seven years in 21 articles — offers their lessons on living with loss. You can catch them all in Leland's book Happiness Is a Choice You Make
Mom Was an Atheist Who Taught Me to Believe (Erica Manfred, Snarky Senior, 5-14-23) "She joined the Communist religion in the l930's and remained a believer all her life.... She fervently believed in tikkun olam, repairing the world, which Jews view as a spiritual duty. Most of all she taught me that spirituality is about what you do, not what you believe."

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On a related topic, you might want to watch this video:
The Arc of Life - Life, Death & Beyond (Ken Dychtwald interviews Huston Smith, YouTube video, 1hr22m, 7-8-20) Huston Smith (author, teacher, and lecturer) is best known for his scholarship about the world's religions.If you enjoy that, you might also want to look at The Wisdom of Faith with Huston Smith (part 1 of 6 interviews by Bill Moyers). "Born in China of missionary parents, Smith learned about Chinese language, culture, and religion while growing up near Shanghai. Smith explains how the intertwining of opposites is key to understanding the great religions of China: Confucianism, Taoism, and Buddhism. Smith shows that Eastern religions provide an emphasis on direct experience and a method for attaining that."

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Lifelong learning

Online classes and other useful resources


(when your life experience makes history come alive)

'Studies suggest that there is a "ten-year rule": it takes at least a decade of apprenticeship to become world class in a discipline. You must advance from unconscious incompetence (not knowing how bad you are) to conscious incompetence (being all too aware) to conscious competence (keeping your goals firmly in mind) to unconscious competence (being in the zone, or in "flow").

"When it's over, I want to say: all my life
 I was a bride married to amazement. 
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms."
~Mary Oliver 

Does Genius Follow the Ten-Year Rule? (Andrew Robinson, Psychology Today, 2-1-11) Inspiration and perspiration are related by more than chance.
The Great Courses (on audio or video you can hear great lecturers capture whole swaths of learning, in many fields). As I type this, the 18-hour set that hooked me is for sale at 70% off, or $48.00 Our local libraries also carry the series. This is the set of CDs that got me hooked on the Great Courses: The Medieval World (audio, Great Courses). 18+ hours of fascinating lectures by Professor Dorsey Armstrong. Reviewers say it takes hours to download the digital downloads and it's easier to get the CDs. Excellent customer service. Go here for a discount coupon on selected titles.
Coursera--take the world's best courses, online. Take free online classes from 120+ top universities and educational organizations. Courses last several weeks, you can work at your own page, and for a fee you can receive a verified certificate that you have completed a course.
Master Class
MIT Open Courseware (Massachusetts Institute of Technology). Try Patrick Winston's lecture on How to Speak
Road Scholar (formerly Elder Hostel and, briefly, Exploritas, until sued for trademark infringement) Adventures in Lifelong Learning -- educational tours, adventures afloat, etc.). Request a catalog.
Make It Stick: The Science of Successful Learning by Peter C. Brown, Henry L. Roediger III, and Mark A. McDaniel. "Presents a compelling case for why we are attracted to the wrong strategies for learning and teaching―and what we can do to remedy our approaches. Drawing on recent discoveries in cognitive psychology and other disciplines, the authors offer concrete techniques for becoming more productive learners.
Osher Lifelong Learning Institutes (OLLI), National Resource Center
---List of institutes
---Trips & Travel
---Find an OLLI near you
---OLLI videos online
The Cultural Experience (tour company that specializes in archaeology tours, history tours, and battlefield tours)
Great Discussions (Foreign Policy Association) Reading the Great Decisions Briefing Book, watch the DVD and meet in a Discussion Group to discuss the most critical global issues facing America today.
Senior Planet online classes

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400 free Ivy League university courses you can take online (Dhawal Shah, Quartz, 1-4-19)
1300 free online courses from top universities (Open Culture)
More than 1000 MOOCs from great universities (Open Culture)
Learn 48 languages for free (Open Culture)
Inter-Disciplinary.net, an enabling resource which supports the exploration, development and publication of work that transcends traditional disciplinary boundaries. Keep up with what they're doing on their Facebook page.
The 37 Best Websites to Learn Something New (Kristyna Z., The Observer, 11-23-15)
Studying or Seeking Wisdom (Ricca Edmondson, Center for Practical Wisdom, 4-13-17)
Stanford Out Loud. This new podcast series presents Stanford Magazine stories--in first podcasts, Stanford Prison Experiment, the death and probable murder of Jane Stanford, and Outbreak: How a band of student volunteers and a campus physician with a carnation in his lapel helped confine the tragedy of the 1903 typhoid epidemic.

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Professor at Large: The Cornell Years by John Cleese (beloved English comedian and actor John Cleese about his almost 20 years as an enormously popular professor at large at Cornell University, showcasing fascinating talks on a range of topics)
Semester at Sea . Read this long personal account by a teacher, Alden Jones and this Wikipedia article and FAQs and this organization chart offer more info. The fees seem reasonable but may be too high for some.
Factory Tours USA 573 tours and counting! This site celebrates American imagination and industry. Take along a youngster or two.
Seminars on Long-Term Thinking (SALT), from the Long Now Foundation, established to foster long-term thinking and responsibility in the framework of the next 10,000 years.
TED talks (ideas worth spreading -- listen to 1500+ wonderful talks to stir your curiosity)
TED-Ed (lessons worth sharing)
Knowledge Commons DC (a free school for thinkers, doers, and tinkerers – taught anywhere, by anyone, for everyone--in Washington DC area--attracts students in 20s and 30s but open to all)
Answers for Middle-Aged Seekers of MOOCs, Part 1 (Cathy N. Davidson answering questions about how to find and use Massive Open Online Courses (MOOCs) and other online continuing education tools. See also Part 2.

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Instruction for Masses Knocks Down Campus Walls (Tamar Lewin, NY Times, 3-4-12) Experts say several factors have helped propel MOOCs to the center of the education stage, including improved technology and the exploding costs of traditional universities. The current, more technically focused MOOCs are highly automated, with computer-graded assignment and exams. But there is still plenty of room for social interaction
Skillshare (learn new creative skills -- thousands of online classes in design, photography, business, and more)
How to Get Involved in the Creative Arts in Your 60s (Ellen Rand, Sixty + Me, 5-6-18)
Clearing Up Some Myths About MOOCs (also by Cathy Davidson). MOOCs are not open, not peer-to-peer learning.
Let's Talk about MOOC (online) Education--And Also About Massively Outdated Traditional Education (MOTEs) (Cathy Davidson again, with links to more on this topic).

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Instruction for Masses Knocks Down Campus Walls (Tamar Lewin, Education, NY Times, 3-4-12) MOOCs, a tool for democratizing higher education, provide free online education to the masses, for free. Some offer credentials--not for free.
Edge.org was "launched in 1996 as the online version of "The Reality Club," an informal gathering of intellectuals that met from 1981-1996 in Chinese restaurants, artist lofts, the Board Rooms of Rockefeller University, the New York Academy of Sciences, and investment banking firms, ballrooms, museums, living rooms, and elsewhere. Though the venue is now in cyberspace, the spirit of the Reality Club lives on in the lively back-and-forth discussions on the hot-button ideas driving the discussion today."
Open Culture (links to the best free & educational media on the map: 1,500 free online courses, 1000+ MOOCs, free online lectures, distance learning courses, free audio books, etc.)
Free Online Courses Database (Online Courses Pro's database of free courses from universities)
edX. Take great courses from the world's best universities, free (MIT, Berkeley, Harvard, Stanford, Rice, Georgetown, Wellesley, UT Austin, Delft) or take courses at high school level.Courses are offered through Corsera. Some are free, some paid; You pay if you want a certificate. You need not be affiliated with the school to take the courses.
Carnegie Mellon University (Open Learning Initiative) “No instructors, no credits, no charge.”
Duke University (iTunes U). Learn with Duke. Any time. Anywhere.
Harvard Open Courses: Open Learning Initiative. Harvard offers 200 online courses.

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iTunesU (free courses for your iPad)
Circuits and Electronics, 6.002X/a> (an experimental online course at MIT)
Open Yale courses (hear excellent lectures free, while exercising)
Stanford Engineering Everywhere
UC Berkeley: webcast.berkeley, online video & audio for students and learners around the globe (also available on YouTube and iTunes)
Oasis (technology training, on how to use using computers, the Internet, and portable devices. See course descriptions. But their programs go beyond technology, so check them out, where they are available.
Udemy a MOOC that frankly wants to make money, offers both free and fee-based courses, many of them geared to increasing job-related skills. See • University of Oxford, free podcasts of lectures in many fields.

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750 Free Online Courses from Top Universities (Open University, which lists many other free resources, from movies and language lessons to audio books and intelligent video and YouTube sites)
MOOC List ("a complete list of massive open online courses, free online courses offered by the best universities and entities")
Why Every University Does Not Need A MOOC (Joshua Kim, Inside Higher Ed 3-6-12)

Find local centers for learning and acting on your dreams:
The possible dream: Music theater class is a second act for stage-struck adults (Kristen Cook, Arizona Daily Star, 4-14-13) Musical theater class shines spotlight on adults.

Book TV talks on TV (current schedule). Check Book TV's website for MANY resources available online and sometimes in person, too (such as the Book Festival)
Book TV podcasts (listen to free archived podcasts of talks by top nonfiction book authors)
Book TV talks on video (view archived talks online, on YouTube)
Book TV's Book Club.
In Depth (Book TV) (a series of comprehensive, live three-hour looks at one author's work, with questions from viewers). Search the Book TV site and find even more wonderful programs and series.
Audio Dharma, talks illuminating the teachings of Buddha.
Intelligent, interesting radio and TV talk shows
Everything You've Ever Been Told About How You Learn Is A Lie (Shaunacy Ferro, PopSci, 9-12-13)

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Mah Jongg Maven (get a set and three more players and learn to play mah jongg). I've been playing Rummikub with a group of neighbors lately. Playing games is an easy way to get to know new people.
Fast Time and the Aging Mind (Richard A. Friedman, NY Times, 7-20-13). "[I]f you want time to slow down, become a student again. Learn something that requires sustained effort; do something novel."
Study with the Stars: Learn From the Greats Without Ever Leaving Home (Kristin Luna, Parade, 8-5-16) For less than $100, many adults are signing up for online courses (MasterClasses) taught by Dustin Hoffman (acting), Kevin Spacey (acting), Werner Herzog (directing), James Patterson (writing), Serena Williams (tennis), Christina Aguilera (voice, singing), Usher (the art of live performance), Aaron Sorkin (screenwriting), Annie Leibovitz (photography) Aaron Rasmussen and David Rogier after the masterminds behind MasterClasses.
My Semester With the Snowflakes (James Hatch, Medium, 12-21-19) At 52, I was accepted to Yale as a freshman. The students I met there surprised me.


“Just remember, once you’re over the hill, you begin to pick up speed.

~ attributed to Arthur Schopenhauer

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Spirituality for Beginners and Doubters

An appreciation of some of the strong suits of various religions and spiritual practices or inspirations.

With most of these links, you can either read or listen.
She found meaning where she least expected it — her childhood faith (Enlighten Me with Rachel Martin, a special series heard on on All Things Considered, NPR, 7-2-23) "Sarah Hurwitz grew up in what she would describe as a culturally Jewish home. But it wasn't until she was in her 30s that she really connected with the spiritual identity she was raised with. "This is the thing that people don't understand. Judaism is one big mindfulness practice. It is a constant practice of being present with what's around you. So every time an observant Jew will say a blessing over food, though, it's like you're stopping and you're actually appreciating the miracle of the fact that you have food, which many people in this world do not. Same with saying a blessing after going to the bathroom — you appreciate the miracle of your body working. "[T]hese ethical laws really push us to notice the person in front of us and ask, "What are you going through? What's going on?" It is a constant mindfulness practice that is calling you to be present with what's happening and to respond lovingly and kindly and with generosity." 

     H/T to Paulette Harvey (a bright spirit) for sending me this link, which reminded me I'd ignored the topic! NPR has done a superb job of providing interesting programs on this toic.
He saw the ghost of his racist grandfather. It helped lead to meaningful healing (Enlighten Me with Rachel Martin, All things Considered, NPR, 6-18-23) John Blake's story is about growing up as a Black kid in West Baltimore in the 1980s, learning painful secrets about his white mother and, as he recalls, a ghost. "When I was younger, I was ashamed she was white. And then, when I met her, I was ashamed of her because she had a mental illness. But only at the very end did I feel pride. Like, 'wow, I am the son of this incredible, resilient woman.' "
He walked away from his evangelical roots to escape feeling suffocated (Enlighten Me with Rachel Martin, All things Cpnsidered, NPR, 6-25-23) The evangelical movement was Jon Ward's church, his family, his community, his music, and his identity. And then he broke away. "We all want to feel safe when we're growing up. And in an attempt to make kids feel safe, parents and other adults can sometimes circumscribe a child's life so that they don't come into contact with ideas or people who might make them feel unsafe in some way." 

     Through his work as a political journalist, Ward learned how to interrogate assumptions, how to question authority, and eventually that meant questioning the church he grew up in — and leaving it altogether. Ward wrote a memoir about this experience. It's called Testimony: Inside the Evangelical Movement That Failed a Generation. Ward spent two decades of his life inside evangelical Christian circles and two decades outside as a journalist covering politics, government, culture, and the nature of power. Ward says it got to a point where he didn't like being in an environment where everyone thought the same thing. Through his story, Ward explores how the evangelical church lost its witness--and how it can regain it by laying aside grasps at power to serve with Christlike love.

     "I wanted to understand what that choice to step away looked like, and the consequences of living with it....I think fundamentalism is this desire to put answers out of reach of questioning. I think one of the icebreaking statements for me has been a very simple one, it's just: 'I could be wrong.' I've embraced that over the years and it's been so liberating in many ways."

     He was asked: Can you explain why this bizarre marriage between Donald Trump and white evangelicals made sense to you as someone from that world?  "There was a process of resignation, then rationalization, and then once it was Republican versus Democrat the political identities snapped into place."

Losing his voice gave this singer a new appreciation for God — and being alone (Enlighten Me with Rachel Martin, 6-11-23) Trevor Powers says his mind kept drifting to the "what ifs" questions after he lost his voice.
How to hold onto a sense of wonder (Enlighten Me, 6-4-23) Katherine May's new book Enchantment: Awakening Wonder in an Anxious Age examines the idea of awakening wonder in an "anxious age."
Letting go of hate by questioning the very idea of evil (Rachel Martin, Enlighten Me, All Things Considered, 5-21-23) "Some of the most contented people I know are really good at forgiveness. They do not hold grudges. They have the ability to look at the person who has harmed them and see beyond that particular action, insult or slight – even the most grievous. As part of my own spiritual inquiry, I've been thinking a lot about this idea, which led me to a book by Simran Jeet Singh, called The Light We Give: How Sikh Wisdom Can Transform Your Life. (“I love this book… It is rich in wisdom, religious and personal, and it is absolutely charming.” —Anne Lamott). Another book by Singh: Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times
He helped cancer patients find peace through psychedelics. Then came his diagnosis (Enlighten Me with Rachel Martin, All Things Considered, NPR, 5-14-23) Roland Griffiths' research showed how psychedelics can alleviate depression in people with terminal diseases. "That was our first therapeutic trial that we ran at Johns Hopkins with psychedelics. I remember feeling very cautious about what an experience of this sort would do to someone who's facing the most significant existential threat that they can.
     "As it turns out, the effects were nothing short of astonishing. This cohort of people, who met criteria for clinical depression or anxiety, after a single dose of psilocybin under our supported conditions, the anxiety and depression dropped markedly – immediately – and markedly and enduringly. That was the most important feature: We followed people up for six months and they remained with very low symptom profiles."
     I will watch for enlightening articles, programs, reviews, and excerpts (but not for plain old religious tracts). 

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On becoming invisible

"Be yourself. Everyone else is taken."


"Drive carefully on this road called 'life' because people will switch lanes with you without a signal."

The Positive Side of Being an Invisible Woman (Karen Sands, Next Avenue, 9-17-18) 'The Ageless Way' author on the power of flying under the radar
The Ageless Way by Karen Sands. Illuminating the new story of our age. Life hacks for women rewriting the narrative about growing up, growing older, & growing richer. A guidebook for Baby Boomers seeking a new way of aging.
5 Reasons to Enjoy Being an Old, Invisible Woman (Kristine Holmgren, Next Avenue, 11-6-14) The freedom to stare, and the freedom to interfere, for example.
10 Great Frances McDormand Quotes on Aging (Sue Campbell, Next Avenue, 11-1-14) The 'Olive Kitteridge' star on plastic surgery and becoming an 'elderess.' Quote 1: On why our species is in trouble: “There’s no desire to be an adult. Adulthood is not a goal. It’s not seen as a gift. Something happened culturally: No one is supposed to age past 45 — sartorially, cosmetically, attitudinally. Everybody dresses like a teenager. Everybody dyes their hair. Everybody is concerned about a smooth face.” -- quoted in Frank Bruni's piece about McDormand, A Star Who Has No Time for Vanity(NY Times, 10-15-14)
Invisible Woman: To age is to fail: the media's message to older women (Opinion piece, The Guardian, 9-21-13) "This is a plea to the marketing and media industries to give older women a break. Stop basing everything you do on the assumption that we're all embittered old hags, spending every waking moment yearning for lost youth. Do not think for a moment that we believe the manufactured myth that ageing is a problem to be solved, and please stop treating the entirely natural process of ageing as though it is a crime, a personal failing or a disease with a cure – it isn't....There is a loveliness in older faces too, in the strength and character that life and experience have given us. In more enlightened cultures, the older generation are venerated and valued for their wisdom and experience."
The Invisible Years (Tamara McClintock Greenberg, Psychology Today, 8-11-09) Thoughts on why the elderly become invisible.
Invisible Individuals — LGBT Elders (Florence Gelo, Aging Well, Today's Geriatric Medicine, Summer 2008) The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force’s Aging Initiative estimates that about 3 million Americans over the age of 65 are LGBT, a figure likely to double by 2030. An important piece about the problems LGBT elders face.
‘Stonewall Generation’ Confronts Old Age, Sickness — And Discrimination (JoNel Aleccia and Melissa Bailey, KHN, 5-22-19) LGBTQ baby boomers, dubbed “the Stonewall Generation,” came of age just as the 1969 New York uprising galvanized a push for gay rights. After living through an era of unprecedented social change, they’re facing new challenges as they grow old. More than a third are concerned they’ll have to hide their identity to find suitable housing as they age. And at least 60% are concerned about neglect, harassment and abuse, the survey showed.
Wurzweiler’s Gary Stein Leads Study Investigating LGBT Patient Experiences (Yeshiva University News, 6-13-18) A research team is embarking on a major project to assess the quality of hospice and palliative care programs for LGBT older adults, with support from the Borchard Foundation Center on Law and Aging.
Ordinary Extraordinary African American Women: The EldersMy One and Only Resolution: To Keep My Wrinkles (Donna Sapolin, Next Avenue, 12-19-12) I don’t think we should prevent a face from serving as a visual repository of a lifetime of feelings and thoughts. To me, it seems critically important to model an acceptance of time’s forward march and the ways it naturally manifests.
• Frances McDormand, On showing the power that comes with age: "One of the reasons that I am doing press again after 10 years' absence is because I feel like I need to represent publicly what I've chosen to represent privately — which is a woman who is proud and more powerful than I was when I was younger. And I think that I carry that pride and power on my face and in my body.” From Like Olive Kitteridge, Actress Frances McDormand Was Tired Of Supporting Roles (All Things Considered, 10-31-14)

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Ageism and other tough issues

"No one is totally worthless. 

They can always serve as a good example."

~ Kathy May's father


"Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind." 


See also A few books on ageism

While Inflation Takes a Toll on Seniors, Billions of Dollars in Benefits Go Unused (Judith Graham, CNN & KHN, 9-12-22) Millions of older adults are having trouble making ends meet, many don’t realize help is available, and some notable programs that offer financial assistance are underused. Nearly 14 million adults 60 or older qualify for aid from the federal Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (also known as food stamps) but haven’t signed up. More than 3 million adults 65 or older are eligible but not enrolled in Medicare Savings Programs, which pay for Medicare premiums and cost sharing. And 30% to 45% of seniors may be missing out on help from the Medicare Part D Low-Income Subsidy program, which covers plan premiums and cost sharing and lowers the cost of prescription drugs.

       Programs funded by the Older Americans Act, such as home-delivered meals and legal assistance for seniors facing home foreclosures or eviction, don’t require a means test, although people with low incomes are often prioritized. And some local programs, such as property tax breaks for homeowners, are available to anyone 65 or older. Plus other resources.
The Unwinding (Oliver Burkeman, The Guardian, 6-21-13) The Unwinding: An Inner History of the New America is the right title for George Packer's epic, sad and unsettling history of the last four decades in the US. His topic is the coming apart of something in the national fabric: the unravelling of unspoken agreements about the limits to Wall Street's greed; about what a congressman would or wouldn't do for the right price; about what a company owes its workers, or what the wealthy should contribute in tax.
Tiredness of life: the growing phenomenon in western society (Sam Carr, The Conversation, 5-3-23) Professor Els van Wijngaarden and colleagues in the Netherlands "listened to a group of older people who were not seriously ill, yet felt a yearning to end their lives. The key issues they identified in such people were: aching loneliness, pain associated with not mattering, struggles with self-expression, existential tiredness, and fear of being reduced to a completely dependent state. This need not be the consequence of a lifetime of suffering, or a response to intolerable physical pain. Tiredness of life also seems to arise in people who consider themselves to have lived fulfilling lives.
    Professor Helena Larsson and colleagues in Sweden have written about a gradual “turning out of the lights” in old age. They argue that people steadily let go of life, until they reach a point where they are ready to turn off the outside world. Larsson’s team raises the question of whether this might be inevitable for us all.
    "In countries where euthanasia and assisted suicide are legal, doctors and researchers are debating whether tiredness of life meets the threshold for the sort of unceasing emotional suffering that grants people the right to euthanasia.
    "Surgeon and medical professor Atul Gawande argues that in western societies, medicine has created the ideal conditions for transforming ageing into a “long, slow fade”. He believes quality of life has been overlooked as we channel our resources towards biological survival. This is unprecedented in history. Tiredness of life may be evidence of the cost."
Ramona At Midlife, Brooke at Midlife… (Brooke Berman, Oldster, 9-25-23) Fifty-four-year-old filmmaker Brooke Berman on refusing to let gendered ageism sideline her from making her passion project, "Ramona at Midlife," now on the film festival circuit.
     'An agent that I’d been friendly with took me to breakfast and explained that a middle-aged woman screenwriter/director without a TV job was poison.

     “Can you rep me?” I asked her directly.

     “No,” she said, explaining that she needed someone who was either just breaking in or already famous.'
Narrative Environments for Narrative Care: The Need to Honor People's Stories (William Randall, ResearchGate, Jan. 2016) Randall introduces the concepts of narrative environment and narrative care to discussions of human caring, proposing: "Human beings are storied beings and our identity is tied to the narratives through which we interpret our experience. Appreciating the narrative complexity of the people with whom we interact is thus the heart of narrative care. However, since lives are storied not in a vacuum but in several intersecting settings (family, community, and culture), the practice of narrative care, for example in health-care settings, is contingent on fostering narrative environments in which, first and foremost, people's stories are acknowledged and honored."
After sleeping on 2023's "Best Pillows," here's what happened to my body. (Jenny Brown, SBLY's Home Hacks,1-7-23) Really makes you take a look at your pillows, and at the one that came in first: Dosaze Contoured Orthopedic Pillow (read the explanation even if you don't plan to buy one). Here are the pillows they tried (in alphabetical order): Dosaze Contoured Orthopedic Pillow, Layla, Marlow, MyPillow, PillowCube, PillowCube, Original Pillow by Coop Home Goods, Sutera, Saatva, TempurPedic. "My Pillow" doesn't fare well, except in ads.
Sleep Guide for Seniors (Mattress Help) From a mattress company, an overview of sources of some sleep problems: insomnia, sleep apnea, narcolepsy, restless leg syndrome, snoring -- plus a list of things that can cause sleep problems, including excessive sleepiness.
Necessary Steps: How Health Care Fails Older Patients, And How It Can Be Done Better (Louise Aronson, Health Affairs, March 2015 ) A chance meeting between an octogenarian and a geriatrician shows how the US health system focuses on medical care at the expense of older adults’ well-being. Must reading!
How Many Seniors Live in Poverty? (Juliette Cubanski, Wyatt Koma, Anthony Damico, and Tricia Neuman, Kaiser Family Foundation brief, 11-19-18) More than 7 million people ages 65 and older had incomes below poverty in 2017, based on the Supplemental Poverty Measure, 2.5 million more than under the official poverty measure.
The Startling Inequality Gap That Emerges After Age 65 (Judith Graham, KHN, 3-12-2020) "In an era when “deaths of despair” — from substance abuse and suicide — are on the rise among middle-aged Americans, those who reach age 65 are living longer than ever. But there’s a catch: Seniors in urban areas and on the coasts are surviving longer than their counterparts in rural areas and the nation’s interior...And according to demographer Samuel Preston, "people living in ‘interior’ regions ― particularly Appalachia and the East South Central region [Alabama, Kentucky, Mississippi and Tennessee] — have done worse than those on the coasts.” And 65-year-old Americans living in Pacific region metro areas (including Alaska, California, Hawaii, Oregon and Washington) do as well as seniors in leading longevity countries (Japan, Switzerland, Australia, France, Spain and Canada). Deaths from opioids, alcohol or suicide aren’t significant in the older population; deaths from chronic illnesses (which are influenced by social conditions as well as personal behaviors) are. Much credit undoubtedly goes to medical advances and to Medicare, which extended health insurance coverage to all older Americans (age 65 and up) in 1966, improving access to care. Also, Social Security probably makes a difference by providing a minimum income — albeit one that hasn’t kept up with rising costs ― for most older Americans.

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Care coordination: why it matters ( Liz Seegert, Covering Health, AHCJ, 2-15-22) Older patients and their caregivers often experience frustration, confusion, and feelings of helplessness that when trying to work within a system that often puts profits before people and the bottom line before common sense.As boomers live longer, we will keep putting more demand on an already fragile and patchwork system. Crossed fingers and hope are not a care coordination plan. Links to more resources for reporters at end of article.
A reporter considers the consequences of publishing a source’s legal status (Margarita Birnbaum, Covering Health, AHCJ, 12-8-22) Millions of unauthorized immigrant adults—who represent more than 80% of immigrants living in the United States illegally—contribute to public health programs they may never benefit from because of their legal status. In a recent story that highlighted the lack of health care coverage for undocumented older people, Marc Ramirez, a national correspondent for USA TODAY, interviewed a man from Mexico, in part because the vast majority of unauthorized immigrants are from Latin America.
What Makes a Good Life in Late Life? Citizenship and Justice in Aging Societies (The Hastings Center) A new Hastings Center Special Report calls on bioethics to “broaden its lens” to improve the experience of aging and tackle problems of injustice affecting older adults and caregivers. You can read the report online --or scan the wide-ranging table of contents and read individual essays/chapters
Why Ageism Never Gets Old (Tad Friend, The New Yorker, 11-20-17) The prejudice is an ancient habit, but new forces—in Silicon Valley, Hollywood, and beyond—have restored its youthful vitality.
Every Older Patient Has a Story. Medical Students Need to Hear It. (Paula Span, The New Old Age, 10-12-18) At more than 20 medical schools in the United States, students are getting an earful — about life, about perspective — from healthy seniors....“Unfortunately, most education takes place within the hospital,” Dr. Ronald Adelman, co-chief of geriatrics at Weill Cornell, told me. “If you’re only seeing the hospitalized elderly, you’re seeing the debilitated, the physically deteriorating, the demented. It’s easy to pick up ageist stereotypes"...These misperceptions can influence people’s care. In another classroom down the hall, 88-year-old Marcia Levine, a retired family therapist, was telling students about a gastroenterologist who once dismissed her complaints of fatigue by saying, “At your age, you can’t expect to have much energy.” Then, in her 70s, she switched doctors and learned she had a low-grade infection.
Current Awareness in Aging Research (CAAR) Up-to-date information about news and internet resources on aging. Sign up for their e-clippings (not an archive, but a snap shot of the latest news in the field) or visit their blog.
A surprising bullying battleground: Senior centers (Matt Sedensky, AP/San Francisco Chronicle and other papers, 5-12-18) "Most senior bullying isn't physical but rather involves name-calling, rumors and exclusion, said Pamela Countouris, a longtime schoolteacher who now runs a Pittsburgh-based consultancy that offers training on bullying. Women constitute the bulk of the bullies. One senior was met with relentless bullying by residents mostly focused on her being a lesbian. Robin Bonifas, author of Bullying Among Older Adults: How to Recognize and Address an Unseen Epidemic "sees it as an outgrowth of frustrations characteristic in communal settings, as well a reflection of issues unique to getting older. Many elderly see their independence and sense of control disappear and, for some, becoming a bully can feel like regaining some of that lost power. "It makes them feel very out of control," Bonifas said, "and the way they sort of get on top of things and make their name in this new world is intimidating, picking on people, gossiping."
Why We Lose Friends in Midlife (Deborah Quilter, Next Avenue, 8-6-14) 6 situations that make us 'break up' with our one-time BFFs. But see also How to Find an Old Friend (Bev Beckham, Next Avenue, 6-6-14) A practical guide for locating a pal from your past.
Summer can be deadly for older adults (Liz Seegert, Covering Health, 7-10-18) How and why and in what stages heat can particularly affect (even kill) the elderly. See alsoHow heat waves affect the elderly (Journalist's Resource), which includes research on how climate change will affect mortality in elders.
Our financial smarts erode quickly after age 60 (Robert Powell, MarketWatch, 10-17-11)


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Blurred Vision, Burning Eyes: This Is a Lasik Success? (Roni Caryn Rabin, NY Times, 6-11-18) Lasik's risks are coming into sharper focus. Patients whose vision is improved to 20/20 are considered success stories, but just because they can now see the little letters on the charts doesn't mean the procedure went off without a hitch. Some patients who undergo the eye surgery report a variety of side effects. They may persist for years, studies show.
Aging in the American Suburbs: A Changing Population (Stephen M. Golant, Aging Well, Today's Geriatric Medicine) “Nearly eight in 10 of the age 65-plus population now live in U.S. metropolitan areas, and almost two-thirds of these metro dwellers live in the suburbs rather than its central cities," writes Golant, a geography professor at the University of Florida, Gainesville. For those who can't drive, this is like a prison sentence. Most seniors want to age in place but this may not be wise when neighborhoods fail to meet their needs. In low density neighborhoods, elders walk less because of the distance to shops, restaurants, and other services and the danger of some street crossings. There may also be poorly designed and maintained (or no) sidewalks and no benches or other ways to sit and rest. But “they are reluctant to pick up stakes and start new lives in unfamiliar places where they risk feeling less competent in negotiating their surroundings.”
Older People Will Need Much Better Transit (Laura Bliss, City Lab, 8-4-17) Transit agencies, take note: For the growing number of Americans over 65, mobility can’t wait. A new TransitCenter report makes the case that healthy aging hinges on better mass transportation. Good transit can ease isolation, can connect to medical care, is safer than driving, means a safer way to walk, and current options just aren't cutting it. "Most transit systems, especially those built prior to the Americans with Disabilities Act, don’t respond adequately to these limitations. Buses that lack accessible seating, stations without shade or benches, and connections that require crossing dangerous roads discourage elderly users. So do, for example, the 362 out of 472 subway stations in New York City that aren’t accessible to wheelchair users." The basics of transit haven't changed much. Microtransit could be a game-changer for seniors savvy with smartphones. Cities are also experimenting with subsidized ride-hailing services to get elderly residents around. And retiree-filled Altamonte Springs, Florida, has been straight-up subsidizing Uber rides for everyone. Riders of all ages value frequency and speed in their transit options most, and older riders also "emphasize accessibility and comfort, with shelter and seating ranking high among their priorities."
Driving and older adults: Is there a right time to stop? (Liz Seegert, Covering Health, AHCJ, 7-13-18)


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Are Older Drivers Safe? (Gayatri Devi, Psychoology Today, 4-26-13) "Insurance rates for drivers older than 75 is minimally greater than younger adults and far lower than rates for teenaged drivers, reflecting accident rates in each group. Given the overall risk averseness of the insurance industry, this is a true testament to the safety record of older drivers."'

     "Over 75% of patients with mild dementia are able to pass road test and drive safely. This is not as improbable as it sounds. In people who have been driving for decades, driving is a procedural memory task residing in many areas of the brain....Performance on visuo-spatial tasks are better correlated with driving ability than standard cognitive tests. For example, older drivers are more at risk for intersection accidents, as they are less likely to scan the environment and focus straight ahead....Finally, indulging in our fears of the threat of the older driver may put our elders at risk for dying from less familiar forms of transportation like biking, as shown in a recent Danish study."
What Risks Do Older Drivers Pose to Traffic Safety? (Rand Institute Research Brief) "Drivers 65 and older are 16 percent likelier than adult drivers (those 25–64 years old) to cause an accident, and they pose much less risk to the public than do drivers under 25, who are 188 percent likelier than adult drivers to cause an accident. However, older drivers are highly vulnerable to fatal injury in a crash. These findings offer little support for stricter licensing policies targeting older drivers but offer some support for policies to improve driver safety for seniors."
The Transportation Barrier (Imran Cronk, The Atlantic, 8-9-15) Many low-income people in urban and suburban areas struggle to find reliable transportation. The result is missed appointments and poor illness management, even when care is readily available.
Suburbs brace for wave of older adults who want to age in their homes (Emma Nelson, Minneapolis Star-Tribune, 2-13-16) Baby boomers want to age in their own homes, but most suburbs weren't built with older adults in mind. "A 2004 study from the Surface Transportation Policy Project found that people over 65 who don’t drive make fewer trips to the doctor, shop or eat out less and don’t see their family and friends as often as drivers of the same age." Nelson writes that some suburbs are beginning to rethink housing and transit strategies, updating older homes to make them more elder-friendly and providing door-to-door transportation services for those who no longer drive.
Born This Way: The new weird science of hardwired political identity (Sasha Issenberg, New York Magazine, 4-8-12). Quoting from this fascinating story: “As a general rule,” the authors wrote, “liberals are more open-minded in their pursuit of creativity, novelty, and diversity, whereas conservatives seek lives that are more orderly, conventional, and better organized.” Rare midlife conversions aside, our parties are groups of two different kinds of people, they said, divided not by class or geography or education but by temperament." Be wise about politics, not just dogmatic!<
The ‘death tax’ will soon be tougher to dodge (Renae Merle, WaPo, 8-2-16) The Treasury Department has proposed new regulations it says will make it harder for families to avoid estate taxes.
Boomer Tsunami: Face your tomorrow here, now (Judy Steed, The Star, 4-20-09). Boomers will once again be "transformative" as we age – our demographic clout is so massive that we change society as we move through the stages of life – but not soon enough to benefit ourselves, says gerontologist Robert Butler. The "future belongs those who prepare for it." Don't be afraid of looking ahead, he says; make plans and figure out your best approach to "the big transition."
Defusing Hate: A Strategic Communication Guide to Counteract Dangerous Speech (download free PDF, U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum). Three workbooks: Understand Context and Conflict. Select and Guide Audiences. Design Medium, Speakers, and Message Content. Author: Rachel Brown.


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Bill Maher on ageism
America's Health Rankings Senior Report measures which states are healthier for elders (Minnesota and Hawaii are at the top. Mississippi and Louisiana at the bottom), based on such indicators as access to dedicated health providers, preventable hospitalizations, access to social supports, and the percentage of people getting flu shots, getting adequate nutrition, and being physically active.
How to persuade an elderly relative to stop driving (Joe Blundo, Columbus Dispatch, 11-15-14). Sidebar: Signs that an elderly driver may not be safe driving. (Placed in the retirement section because driving is often essential to staying on a particular job.)
92 and Still Driving? Seniors at the Wheel. (Debbie Brodsky, DMB Pictures, 6-13-12)
Poll: Older drivers want stricter rules for themselves (Keith Laing, The Hill, 12-1-14) A strong majority of older drivers want more stringent rules for people in their age range who operate cars, according to AAA auto club study. Full report here.
The Haggler (New York Times column "helping aggrieved consumers"). For example, A Memorial to Her Son, Until the Bank Got in the Way A mother’s wish to donate her late son’s savings to a scholarship fund proved harder than she anticipated. Shame, Bank of America.
Brave Old World , a multimedia look at aging produced by News21 fellows from Columbia University’s Graduate School of Journalism. Stories told through text, audio, photographs, interactive graphics and video provide a nuanced look at aging trends unfolding across the country.
The ‘Busy’ Trap (Tim Kreider, NY Times Opinionator, 6-30-12). "Our frantic days are really just a hedge against emptiness." On the value of idleness.

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A few books on ageism

Breaking the Age Code by Becca Levy
Radical Curiosity by Ken Dychtwald
Ending Ageism, or How Not to Shoot Old People by Margaret Morganroth Gullette
This Chair Rocks by Ashton Applewhite. A manifesto against ageism.
In Our Prime: How Older Women Are Reinventing the Road Ahead by Susan J. Douglas it is time for the largest female generation over fifty to reinvent what it means to be an older woman and to challenge the outdated stereotypes―think doddering or shrewish―that Hollywood and TV have assigned them. She zones in on how the anti-aging cosmetics industry targets older and younger women alike with their products, and how Big Pharma ads equate getting older with disease and decline. Douglas exposes the ageism that mature women face at work, and why conservatives’ decades-long attacks on Social Security, Medicaid, and Medicare disproportionately affect women.
Age Is Just a Number: A Geriatrician’s Secrets for Getting the Most Out of Life by Dr Ankur Patel
Crones Don't Whine: Concentrated Wisdom for Juicy Women by Jean Shinoda Bolen. "A lighthearted manual."

5 Over 50 (a Poets and Writers column)

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Elder orphans and aging solo

"One of the oldest human needs is having someone to wonder where you are when you don't come home at night." ~Margaret Mead

Elder Orphan Facebook Group ; apply here (Senior Directory, with explanation of what Elder Orphans is about. Managed by Carol Marak, Seniorcare.com. Elder orphans 'are defined as “aged, community-dwelling individuals who are socially and/or physically isolated, without an available known family member or designated surrogate or caregiver.” In layman’s terms, elder orphans are those who do not have close friends or family to help them with the challenges that come with age.' Site explains traditional alternatives to solitude: Staying at home and hiring a home health caregiver or moving into an assisted living facility. Creative solutions include adopting a family; getting a roommate; trying cohousing, intergenerational housing, life plan communities; and/or joining the Elder Orphan Facebook group. Elsewhere, "elder orphan" is a medically researched term designed by a geriatrician in the '80's. Dr. Carney resurrected the term in her 2015 research about Elder Orphans, aka, aging alone, unbefriended elderly, solo aging, frail elderly, patients without surrogates, in social isolation, the vulnerable elderly.

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You May Need That Procedure. But Do You Really Need an Escort? (Paula Span, NY Times, 3-25-23) Following even basic screenings and operations, patients often must arrange for someone to deliver them home. For older people, it can be a tall order.
Aggressive Medical Care Remains Common at Life’s End (Paula Span, NY Times, 3-14-23) Most older cancer patients received invasive care in the last month of their lives, a new study finds. That may not be what they wanted.
Why Aren’t Doctors Screening Older Americans for Anxiety? (Paula Span, NY Times, 2-26-23) Anxiety disorders are common among seniors, but an influential panel seems likely to recommend against routine screening. Some experts disagree.
Senior Housing That Seniors Actually Like (Paula Span, NY Times, 1-29-23) “Granny flats” are popping up in backyards across the country, affording Americans a new housing option. Some communities are not happy about it. Check out all of Paula Span's articles

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The Secrets of Older Americans Living Alone (Elena Portacolone, HuffPost, 8-18-12) Yes, living alone is the “new norm.” However, this new norm is not yet supported by social policies that are more designed around the traditional family and around the acute model of health care. "Today, the absence of coverage of long-term care through Medicare, the limited number of public social workers and case managers and the shortage of affordable housing hinder one’s ability to live alone. If we add ageism, segregation by age and the prevailing ideology that promotes self-reliance rather than interdependence, we start having an idea of how tough the “social experiment” of living solo gets the last years of our life. The recent report “Aging Alone in America“ by Eric Klinenberg, Stacy Torres and me goes into more detail on the way public policies are not yet ready to accommodate the increasing number of older solo dwellers." (You can download a PDF of that report free here.
A Growing Number of People Are Navigating Retirement Alone. This Woman Is Spearheading a Movement to Change That (Elizabeth O'Brien, Time, 7-18-18) Excellent piece, full of practical advice. "This woman" is Carol Marak.

Without Safety Net Of Kids Or Spouse, ‘Elder Orphans’ Need Fearless Fallback Plan (Judith Graham, Kaiser Health News, 10-4-18) You can read the article above the "pop-up" notice, but this is one you might want to respond to as KHN provides invaluable articles about aging and health. It's worth signing up for their (free) online publications.
Study: Understanding Older Adults that are Aging Alone (Carol Marak, Seniorcare.com) Key statistics.
Living Alone and Loving It: A Guide to Relishing the Single Life by Barbara Feldon. "Astute and optimistic, she notes the problems inherent in regarding "single status as inferior to being married" and advocates consciously embracing the solo life so as to live life on one's own terms. Her wise words (e.g., "Stop believing that marriage is the solution to loneliness") will be useful to anyone, single or otherwise." — Library Journal

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Without Safety Net of Kids or Spouse, ‘Elder Orphans’ Need Fearless Fallback Plan (Judith Graham, Kaiser Health News, 10-4-18) "Like other “elder orphans” (older people without a spouse or children on whom they can depend) and “solo agers” (older adults without children, living alone), [Sperry is] expecting to move through later life without the safety net of a spouse, a son or a daughter who will step up to provide practical, physical and emotional support over time. About 22 percent of older adults in the U.S. fall into this category or are at risk of doing so in the future, according to a 2016 study. Financial insecurity and health concerns are common among the survey respondents....The solution Sperry thinks might work: moving to a continuing care retirement community with different levels of care when he begins to become less independent. That’s an expensive proposition — entry fees range from about $100,000 to $400,000 and monthly fees from about $2,000 to $4,000.
Essential Retirement Planning for Solo Agers: A Retirement and Aging Roadmap for Single and Childless Adults by Sara Zeff Geber
Who Will Take Care of Me When I'm Old?: Plan Now to Safeguard Your Health and Happiness in Old Age by Joy Loverde
Going Solo: The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone by Eric Klinenberg. “Klinenberg convincingly argues that the convergence of mass urbanization, communications technology, and liberalized attitudes has driven this trend.” — Slate.
"Mr. Klinenberg argues that singletons comprise a kind of shadow population that’s misunderstood by policymakers and our culture writ large. Going Solo is an attempt to fill in the blanks— to explain the causes and consequences of living alone, and to describe what it looks in everyday life. . ."— Christian Science Monitor

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The Strange & Curious Tale of the Last True Hermit (Michael Finkel, GQ, 8-5-14) For nearly thirty years, a phantom haunted the woods of Central Maine. Unseen and unknown, he lived in secret, creeping into homes in the dead of night and surviving on what he could steal. To the spooked locals, he became a legend—or maybe a myth. They wondered how he could possibly be real. Until one day last year, the hermit came out of the forest. See also (more about the people nearby) The Last True Hermit Was Alone for 27 Years (video, Lena Friedrich, The Atlantic, 4-23-2020)
Elder Orphans: A Real Problem or a New Way to Scare Singles? (Bella DePaulo, Psychology Today, 10-4-16) Married with children? That's no guarantee of support in later life. "Perhaps even more interesting is the research showing that when people get married, they become more insular. They become less connected to their siblings and parents than they were when they were single, and less attentive to friends and neighbors."
Don’t be an elder orphan! What four elements go into an Aging Solo plan? (Iona, 9-25-18) Practical advice.

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The Aha Moment (videos collected by Mutual of Omaha)
Are Your Spices Older Than Your Kids? On her WebOver50 blog, Marilynne Rudick tells us how to take advantage of the Internet, with tips on sites like Goldstar (half-price theater tickets) and entries like YouTube for How To's: Just-in-Time Learning.
The Artist Grows Old (PDF, Kenneth Clark's essay on artists such Michelangelo, Titian, Rembrandt, Turner, and Cézanne, who peaked as elders and shared "A sense of isolation, a feeling of holy rage, developing into what I have called transcendental pessimism; a mistrust of reason, a belief in instinct."
A Sharper Mind, Middle Age and Beyond (Patricia Cohen, NY Times 1-19-12)
Audio Dharma (listen online or download to listen to later talks about Buddhist practices, mindfulness, meditation, and related subjects -- an archive of Dharma talks given by Gil Fronsdal and various guest speakers at the Insight Meditation Center in Redwood City, CA). Time to become reflective.
Awakening in the Twilight Years (Sangha News, 5-15-12). The Beyond Measure School for Contemplative Care, a Zen-inspired senior living community, applies Buddhist principles to retirement living and contemplative caregiving.
Blue Zones blog (how to live longer, better, happier). Blue Zones, in collaboration with National Geographic, found the five parts of the world where people live the longest.

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On being a grandparent

The Ecstasy and the Agony of Being a Grandmother (Robin Marantz Henig, Rites of Passage, NY Times Magazine, 12-27-18) "Becoming a grandmother was joyful and thrilling, but it was tempered by a stinging knowledge: that my grandchild’s life would unspool into a string of birthdays I will not live to see."
The Rise of the Grandfamily (Andrew L. Yarrow, WaPo Magazine, 1-22-19--photos by André Chung) A D.C. housing development serves as a refuge for grandparents raising young children. Is it a model for the rest of the country? Most Americans know little or nothing about the millions of children being raised by grandparents and other relatives, says Olivia Chase, who is also Washington’s representative for Generations United’s grandfamily advocacy network. And until recently, government had been nearly as oblivious. The bipartisan Supporting Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Act, signed by President Trump in July, establishes a federal advisory council to disseminate information about resources and best practices for grandparents and other relatives caring for children. Buildings like Plaza West (in DC) enable grandparents to bond with and support one another — and they’re far too rare for this growing population.
Living Near Your Grandmother Has Evolutionary Benefits (Jonathan Lambert, Goats and Soda: Stories of Life in a Changing World, 2-7-19) Report from two studies: "The hypothesis is that the help of grandmothers enables mothers to have more children. So women who had the genetic makeup for longer living would ultimately have more grandchildren carrying their longevity genes....Being geographically close to grandma curbed child mortality too and allowed mothers to start having kids at a younger age....Having a grandmother age 50 to 75 increased a toddler's chance of surviving from age 2 to 5 by 30 percent. But the researchers found that the benefits of having a grandmother petered out after she passed age 75." And at a certain point there might be too many mouths to feed. Keep this on hand for when you argue about having grandma live with you.
Bringing Older Americans Back Into the Fold (Maya Salam, NY Times, 12-4-18) Marc Freedman is on a mission to reintegrate older people into the lives of younger ones.
Foster Grandparents, a Senior Corps program that encourages volunteers age 55 and over to stay active by serving local children and youth as role models, mentors, and friends to children with exceptional needs.
Advice for the First-Time Grandparent (Karen Ritz, Next Avenue, 4-16-18) "Your first task...Go out and get a paper on the day that baby is born and tuck it in a drawer — someday he/she will love reading about all that was happening that day, even the ads. Don’t bring it to the hospital or give it to the parents yet, as it will be lost in the confusion."
The Bliss of Grandmother Hormones (Dominique Browning, First Person, NY Times, 5-7-16) Hormones still rule. That is the only way I can explain the mysterious, intricate nature of my chaotic response to this new love.
8 things no one tells you about being a grandparent (Adair Lara, Considerable, 8-28-14) It's one of the most rewarding and happy relationships you'll ever have, but there are definitely challenges, too.
For My Grandchild, the Moon (Paula Span, NY Times, 9-26-18) We spend money on our grandchildren because we want their childhoods to be special, because we need them to know we love them, because it’s one way to feel part of their lives.
The Maternal Grandparent Advantage (Paula Span, NY Times, 3-21-18) Children are often closer to the grandparents on their mother’s side, research shows. Daughters generally have closer ties to their own parents than to their in-laws.
What I Wish I Knew Before Becoming a Grandparent (Nancy and Tom Biracree, as told to Morgan Greenwald, Best Life, 9-4-18) Your opinions aren't always welcome. Your number-one job is to assist. Consistency is key. Things should never be taken personally. The kid's not yours. No, you can't spoil them. Your child will have different parenting tactics than you. The opinion of both parents matters...etc.
The Particular Joy of Being a Grandparent (Jim Sollisch, NY Times, 8-1-18) "I have raised five children. But I have never felt this pure, unfettered happiness."
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Reminiscence, life review, and life storytelling

Erik Erikson coined the term “generativity” to capture the drive adults feel as they age to leave something to the next generation -- to make a difference, to leave a mark. This is probably part of the reason so many older adults flourish in life writing workshops.
Are You Living Your Eulogy or Your Résumé? (Arianna Huffington, Huff Post, 9-23-13). "At HuffPost we've made the Third Metric -- redefining success beyond money and power to include well-being, wisdom and our ability to wonder and to give -- a key editorial focus. But while it's not hard to live a Third Metric life, it's very easy not to. It's easy to let ourselves get consumed by our work. It's easy to use work to let ourselves forget the things and the people that truly sustain us. It's easy to let technology wrap us in a perpetually harried, stressed-out existence. It's easy, in effect, to miss our lives even while we're living them. Until we're no longer living them."
A Photographer’s Parents Wave Farewell (Eren Orbey, New Yorker, 3-4-2020) Deanna Dikeman’s portrait series doubles as a family album, compressing nearly three decades of her parents’ adieux into a deft and affecting chronology. A perfect final photo.
Obituary for a Quiet Life (Jeremy B. Jones, Bitter Southerner, 6-6-23) A man passes away without a word in the mountains of North Carolina, and his grandson sets out to write about the importance of a seemingly unimportant life.
Specifically for Seniors a podcast for those of us in the "Remember when..." generations.
Stories Are About Change (Shawn Coyne, Steven Pressfield Online, 8-9-13). Why did some people flee the World Trade Center the minute a plane struck one tower? Psychoanalyst Stephen Grosz "suggests that the reason every single person in the South Tower didn’t immediately leave the building is that they did not have a familiar story in their minds to guide them. 'We are vehemently faithful to our own view of the world, our story. We want to know what new story we’re stepping into before we exit the old one. We don’t want an exit if we don’t know exactly where it is going to take us, even – or perhaps especially – in an emergency. This is so, I hasten to add, whether we are patients or psychoanalysts.' "We need stories to temper our anxieties, either as supporting messages to stay as we are or inspiring road maps to get us to take a chance. Experiencing stories that tell the tale of protagonists for whom we can empathize gives us the courage to examine our own lives and change them." See Grosz's book The Examined Life: How We Lose and Find Ourselves. (Read the reviews before ordering, so you know what to expect.)
Capturing seniors' stories while she still can (David Ball, Herald Tribune, 2-20-10, on Sonia Fuentes and "The Wisdom of Elders Across America").
"I think the seniors that are the happiest are the ones that are active," [Bob] Anderson said. "Very little television is what I'm saying."
"I think the first thing is to enjoy what you're doing when you are doing it," [Owen] Comora said.
"And think before you do anything stupid."
~ in the story Capturing seniors' stories while she still can. Read the box, "Words to the Wise")
Telling Your Story (abundant resources on the Pat McNees website)
The Blog Brothers (two Black-Irish-American brothers recall the twentieth century)
Creative Aging blog. Here's an example: Making Up in Humor What They Lack in Fashion (what goes on in one reminiscence group)
The Beneficial Effects of Life Story and Legacy Activities by Pat McNees (Journal of Geriatric Care Management, Spring 2009). Get PDF file of journal article here (61.9KB)
Quite Frankly (poem by Mark Halliday, on The Writer's Almanac, 8-27-13)
The craft of life story writing
Personal histories and legacy memoirs

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Healthy aging

"Too old for Snapchat, too young for Life Alert"

What's the secret to a long and healthy life? Good genes.


"It is not true that people stop pursuing dreams because they grow old;
they grow old because they stop pursuing dreams." ~ Gabriel Garcia Marquez


Be loving. And if you don’t feel loving, then simply be kind. Kindness is just love in her daily clothes.
– Alexandra K. Trenfor, whoever she is
"I thought: hope cannot be said to exist, nor can it be said not to exist.
It is just like roads across the earth.
For actually the earth had no roads to begin with, but when many men pass one way, a road is made."
~Lu Xun


Swimmer, 99, just broke three world records in 100-plus age group (Sydney Page, WaPo, 1-25-24) ‘I never really felt special, but now I’m starting to get a tiny bit proud of myself,’ said Betty Brussel.
Yes, You Can Actually Slow Down Aging, According to New Science (Beth Howard, Prevention, 8-27-21) Scientists are discovering ways to add not only years to our lives, but health to our years.
It’s the Coolest Rock Show in Ann Arbor. And Almost Everyone There Is Over 65. (Joseph Bernstein, NY Times, 1-12-23) At the “Geezer Happy Hour,” the “silver tsunami” has been dancing for decades. For its devotees, the Geezer party isn’t just a link to the past, but a sustaining communal ritual. Ms. Wattles refers to its members as her “tribe” and the event itself as the “church of dance.”

•"Often what we define as health problems are really support problems." ~ Judith Snow, quoted in Consequential Strangers: The Power of People Who Don't Seem to Matter. . . But Really Do by Melinda Blau and Karen L. Fingerman

Every Older Patient Has a Story. Medical Students Need to Hear It. (Paula Span, NY Times, 10-12-18) At more than 20 medical schools in the United States, students are getting an earful — about life, about perspective — from healthy seniors. to introduce students to healthy, active elders. The goal: positively influencing student attitudes toward older adults. Many anti-ageism programs mandate participation by all incoming medical students. “The elderly are who they will be caring for,” Dr. Adelman said.
Yes, You Can Actually Slow Down Aging, According to New Science/ (Beth Howard, Prevention, 8-27-22) Scientists are discovering ways to add not only years to our lives, but health to our years.
People Who Live to 100 Have These Traits in Common (Amanda MacMillan, Time, 12-13-17)
She’s nearly 100. He’s 2 and lives next door. Here’s how they became best friends. (Sydney Page, Washington Post 7-28-21) During the pandemic, with nowhere to go and no one to see, O’Neill started spending more time getting fresh air in her backyard. On the opposite side of the fence, the Olson family did the same. Although they’ve been neighbors for 12 years, “we started spending a lot more time together during quarantine,” said Sarah Olson, 36, two-year-old Benjamin’s mother. In a matter of weeks, O’Neill became Benjamin’s very first friend. In O’Neill, Benjamin found a pandemic playmate. In Benjamin, O’Neill found a needed quarantine companion.
The Secret to a Fight-Free Relationship (Rhaina Cohen, The Atlantic, 9-13-21) Conventional wisdom says that venting is cathartic and that we should never go to bed angry. But couples who save disagreements for scheduled meetings show the benefits of a more patient approach to conflict.
Living into your 90s (YouTube video, 60 Minutes, 5-4-14) See also 99 and 100-yr-olds describe life growing up (60 Minutes Overtime)
Why more of us are living to 100 (Kerri Miller and Kelly Gordon, MPR News, 4-5-21) Listen to Dr. Thomas Perls and Dr. Claudia Kawas. 

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Keys to Successful Aging (Knowable Magazine, 5-6-21) Three people interview each other in turn.  Dr. Daniel J. Levitin, Saul Villela, and  Susan Charles.

From my notes: Genes control just a part of what happens to us.  There is a single factor that predicts how well we are going to do – how happy we will be, how healthy we will be, how long we will live: Conscientiousness.  Conscientious adults don't end up in prison. Conscientious children don't get hit by a bus crossing the street. Too much conscientiousness isn't good either. It can lead to obsessive compulsive behavior.

     We need high-quality sleep. We need exercise, emotional regulation and physical healthstrong social relationships (as important as  cholesterol levels, etc.). 

     Emotional level – regulate your emotions (or they cause wear and tear and effects accumulate over time). 

     Novelty=novel activities and learning activities.  If you engage in a lot of different activities every day that are related to your cognitive functioning and predictive ten years later.

     Daniel:  We've seen many cases of dementia that turn out to be the product of sleep deprivation. One night of upset sleep can affect your cognitive function for weeks.

Emotions get better with age (Tim Vernimmen, Knowable Magazine, 5-5-21) For the past 20 years, Susan Turk Charles, a psychologist at the University of California, Irvine, has been monitoring the shifting moods, the sense of satisfaction, the moments of contemplation and the occasional outbursts of anger, sadness and despair of people of all ages — with a special interest in how we handle and experience emotions as we grow older. She and her colleagues have found that, on average, older people have fewer but more satisfying social contacts and report higher emotional well-being.
All-star conference panel ponders aging’s future (Liz Seegert, Covering Health, AHCJ, 4-21-21) When "it comes to living longer, the United States is only somewhere in the middle compared with the rest of the world, according to the World Health Organization. Although we spend almost twice as much on health care as any other nation, 33 other countries boast longer life expectancies. That’s why we need to consider health span as well as lifespan, rethink how our medical systems care for aging adults and address the need for well paid, well-trained caregivers, according to an expert panel at the opening keynote of the American Society on Aging’s annual conference...we need to get our hands around a culture that is in denial of aging, which frequently devalues older people and allows there to be rampant inequality, abuse, and neglect..." Good summary of issues, trends.

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The Invisibility of Older Women (Akiko Busch, The Atlantic, 2-27-21) As they age, women experience less public scrutiny—and entertain a wider set of choices about when and how they are seen.
70 Over 70  Podcasts and transcripts of interviews with people talking about how to make the most of the time we have left. For example, Max talks with Alice Waters about what she learned from running Chez Panisse, her legendary restaurant, for 50 years and why she’s not afraid to pass it on to the next generation of chefs.
The Costs of Aging The excellent National Aging in Place Council Handbook) With practical information about housing, health and wellness, home modification, costs of moving, health technology, personal finance, unanticipated costs of caregiving, supplemental health insurance, tyhpes of home health care Medicare will pay for, long-term care insurance,annuities, cost of using a financial advisor, college costs, car costs, average costs of entertainment, transportation, and social engagement. See chart on relative costs of housing in all 50 states.
Creativity, an Essential Element of Engaging with Aging? "As long as we're green, we're growing." (Doris Carnevali's lovely blog, Engaging with Aging). See 97-year-old Seattle blogger shares honest view on aging (Ted Land, King5 News, 6-5-19) A retired nurse is helping explain what happens when we grow old. Some of it might surprise you.
Having both hearing and vision loss may double risk of dementia (Liz Seegert, Covering Health, AHCJ, 4-16-21) A new study says losing function in both senses may increase risk of dementia and cognitive decline down the road.“Older people with only a visual or hearing impairment can usually still maintain social contact, so they may not feel be as isolated or depressed as people who have both impairments,” Jhoo said. “However, when someone has both impairments, that may increase the risk of isolation and depression, which previous research has found may affect dementia risk and thinking skills later on.”
The gift of being unsure of what to do (Maggie Jackson, Boston Globe, 1-17-21) In times of flux, embracing uncertainty and ambiguity sharpens your thinking.
How Old Is Too Old to Work? (Isaac Chotiner, New Yorker, 3-8-2020) "The longer you work, the less likely you are to be the so-called burden. But perhaps more important is that health and quality of life go up when people keep working," says Louise Aronson, author of Elderhood: Redefining Aging, Transforming Medicine, Reimagining Life. "...one of the things for younger people to remember is that, with your every decision, action, priority, you are creating your own future."
Ten Tips for Healthy Aging (Dartmouth-Hitchcock)
The gift of being unsure of what to do (Maggie Jackson, Boston Globe, 1-17-2021) In times of flux, embracing uncertainty and ambiguity sharpens your thinking.

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Don't Let the Old Man In (YouTube video of Toby Keith song, written for "The Mule," a Clint Eastwood movie)
Esther at 101: “My life has been devoted to supporting civil rights.” (Susan Goodman, Acting Our Age: Women's Lives at 85+, 3-11-19) Susan Goodman has spent her life ensuring that older people don't get left out of our national narrative. This is one of several profiles of women 85 and older.
Grow Old Like ‘The Golden Girls’ (sociologist Amy Blackstone, NY Times, 6-7-19) We can’t all depend on adult children to stave off loneliness. College-style living — “minus the keg stands” — can help. Blackstone is the author of Childfree by Choice: The Movement Redefining Family and Creating a New Age of Independence
Nearing 90 (William Maxwell, NY Times Magazine, 3-9-97)
What you can learn from the oldest old (Harvard Medical School) Resilience—a quality shared by the longest-lived women—can be acquired. It will serve you well, whatever your age.'
Curiosity Is the Secret to a Happy Life (Markham Heid, Elemental, Medium, 2-13-2020) Curiosity activates brain areas that are involved in other high-level cognitive processes, and over time this increased activation could help explain some of curiosity’s brain benefits. Curious people also seem protected from depression.
When You're Old, You Can Finally Be Selfish (Video by Jenny Schweitzer Bell) Most people dread the inevitable declines associated with aging. But to hear the residents of the Hebrew Home at Riverdale tell it, senescence gets a bad rap. In Jenny Schweitzer Bell’s short documentary The Blessings of Aging, dozens of elderly people describe how their lives have improved in their twilight years.
‘Life Is Very Interesting at 95’

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CBC's 'WireTap' Ends 11-Year Radio Run With 'How To Age Gracefully' Video (Andree Lau, HuffPost Canada, 8-20-15) A charming four minutes and 41 second video of people of all ages, children included, giving advice to their younger selves. "No matter what anyone says, stay weird." "That rust protection undercoating, it's actually a great deal."
Dreams for the Second Half of Life by Edward Edinger (read online). Looking for this, I also found The Inner World of the First Half of Life: Analytical Psychology's Forgotten Developmental Stage by Satya Doyle Byock
Longevity: Like mother, like daughter? (Bradley J. Fikes, San Diego Tribune, 8-15-18) "Women whose mothers lived to 90 years have a 25 percent greater chance to also live that long, compared with those whose mothers didn’t, according to a new study led by UC San Diego researchers. Moreover, the women achieved this extreme longevity while staying healthy. They had no major chronic diseases, such as heart disease, diabetes, cancer, hip fracture or physical limitations.When both parents survived to 90 years, the advantage jumped to 38 percent, said the study, published Wednesday in the journal Age and Ageing."
For Healthy Aging, a Late Act in the Footlights (Tina Rosenberg, Fixes, NY Times, 8-15-12) EngAGE, based in Los Angeles, CA, provides arts and wellness classes for about 5,000 people — the vast majority of them low-income — living in senior apartment communities. “They just had to get through life, taking care of things, and the idea of following a dream was not on their radar screens." That’s why the Burbank Senior Artists Colony is remarkable.
Ditch the Chemicals — 7 Ways to Color Your Hair Naturally (Annmarie Skin Care, 6-14-18) Coffee, tea, or ?

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What Makes a Good Life in Late Life? Citizenship and Justice in Aging Societies(Nancy Berlinger, Kate de Medeiros, and Mildred Z. Solomon, editors. The Hastings Center, Special Report) This Hastings Center Special Report calls on bioethics to “broaden its lens” to improve the experience of aging and tackle problems of injustice affecting older adults and caregivers. Click on chapter titles to read them online.
Live Long and Proper: Genetic Factors Associated with Increased Longevity Identified(Nicholette Zeliadt, Scientific American, 7-1-2010) Although a healthy lifestyle and environmental factors can promote longevity, a new genome-wide survey has ID'd genes strongly associated with living beyond the century mark.
I’m in my 70s. My closest friends are decades younger than I am. (Erica Manfred, WaPo, 3-8-19) Thrilled to find a horror and sci-fi movie meetup, Erica takes on the mantle of token cool old lady among "a nerdy bunch of misfits who tend toward high intelligence and low social skills. She'd found her posse. "The best thing about hanging out with this group is not who they are, but who I am when I am with them." Read her snappy column Snarky Senior

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Having Fun with Aches and Pains (Dying By Inches: A Woman at the End of Life, 1-5-2020) A sense of humor helps a lot.
What is normal aging? “There isn’t any normal way to act seventy-five years old… I’ll tell you why. Considering everything — the whole history of things — people were supposed to be dead and buried at our age. That’s normal. Up until just lately, the Civil War or something, they didn’t even know about germs. If you got sick, they slapped leeches on you and measured you for a coffin. I wouldn’t doubt but hardly anybody even made it to fifty. Isn’t that so?…But then along comes somebody inventing six thousand ways to cure everything, and here we are, old, wondering what to do with ourselves. A human wasn’t designed for old age.” ~ Barbara Kingsolver, Prodigal Summer
Fight Inflammation by Staying Hydrated (Leslie LaPlace, Goodwin House)
Healthy Aging (HHS.gov)
Healthy Aging News (Science Daily)

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The new landscape of intimate relationships

Love and sex among elders


I think people who say they have no regrets are a bit wacky. There are so many things to regret. The way one treats people; the way one writes off relationships; the way one, looking back, backstabs. Middle age is a reckoning. You need nerves of steel to get through it.”~ actor Rupert Everett

"Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone." ~ Anthony Burgess


"The path of awakening is not about becoming who you are. Rather it is about unbecoming who you are not." ~ Albert Schweitzer


Been sorting through old papers & came upon the funeral program for a British pal who died far too young. It included a note Winston Churchill wrote in 1915 to his wife, Clementine. Should he die first, he said, "If there is anywhere else I shall be on the look out for you." ~@ClydeHaberman

Sex and Love Among the Elderly (Dying By Inches: A Woman at the End of Life, 12-22-19)
My Husband and I Don’t Speak the Same Love Language (Lisa Taddeo, NY Times, 2-11-22) '...love is not one thing. You may give and receive love in different ways, and in ways that are different from your partner’s. “The key is we have to learn to speak the language of the other person.” Which of the five love languages do you speak?
My Body Changed. So Did Intimacy. (Joyce Wadler, NY Times, Booming, 10-18-13). "This is one of the things I like about middle-aged sex: the level of comfort required."
At What Age Is Love Enthralling? 82 (Sophy Burnham, Modern Love, 2-8-19) A confession of attraction from a man 30 years younger causes an octogenarian to reflect on desire, sensuality and aging.
The Bear Came Over the Mountain (Alice Munro, New Yorker, 12-27-99, reprinted 10-21-13, after Munro was awarded the Nobel Prize). Munro's wonderful story about long-term love in all its complexity, as Alzheimer's changes the equation and reveals some old truths.
A Guide to Maintaining Sexuality After Menopause (Intimate Rose) With separate sections on dilators, pelvic wands, kegel weights, lubricants, with a special section on pelvic floor release. If you have to look up a couple of those, you're not alone!
Own, Apologize, Repair: Coming Back to Integrity (Nora Samaran, 8-28-16) "There is a quality in guilt that paralyzes. Worse, it leads those who feel it to lash out, like pythons or like some kind of wild animal guarding a nest of self-loathing. Do not look at the man behind the curtain, says the guilt, or I will attempt to destroy you just to stop you from getting near the core of my shame."
Age Is No Obstacle to Love, or Adventure (Nora Johnson, Modern Love, 9-12-13) Falling in love at 71. Nora Johnson, long divorced, wasn't looking for love when she met George, a widowed 83-year-old. It just happened.
The power of vulnerability (Brené Brown's powerful TED Talk -- like an hour with a wonderful therapist). "Shame is basically the fear of disconnection....We live in a vulnerable world. We numb vulnerability. " We are the most in-debt, obese, addicted and medicated adult cohort in U.S. history.” The problem is, you cannot selectively numb emotion. “When we numb [hard feelings], we numb joy, we numb gratitude, we numb happiness.” "How do we learn to embrace our vulnerabilities and imperfections so that we can engage in our lives from a place of authenticity and worthiness? How do we cultivate the courage, compassion, and connection that we

Few people know how to be old.
In aging, one becomes crazier and wiser.
Who lives without folly is not as wise as he thinks.

Outsider Art and Old Ladies Are in the Zeitgeist! (Sue Kreitzman, Huff Post, 5-10-13). "Old ladies are the new black." Great story about a creative streak that came out of nowhere and kept on going.
The 75-Year Study That Found The Secrets To A Fulfilling Life (Carolyne Gregoire, Huff Post, 8-11-13) Gregoire spoke to George Vaillant, the Harvard psychiatrist who directed the Grant study, about the study's findings. It's not about love and power. To pursue a happier and more meaningful life, CONNECT. Find and nurture love. Strong relationships are the greatest predictor of life satisfaction. "The journey from immaturity to maturity, says Vaillant, is a sort of movement from narcissism to connection, and a big part of this shift has to do with the way we deal with challenges....The secret is replacing narcissism, a single-minded focus on one's own emotional oscillations and perceived problems, with mature coping defenses," says Vaillant. Creative expression is another way to productively deal with challenges and achieve meaning and well-being. For more details read Vaillant's books:
Aging Well: Surprising Guideposts to a Happier Life from the Landmark Harvard Study of Adult Development
Adaptation to Life
Spiritual Evolution: How We Are Wired for Faith, Hope, and Love
Triumphs of Experience: The Men of the Harvard Grant Study

Traveling in retirement (and otherwise)

Home exchanges, housesitting, and home sharing
Real ID (new federal requirements)
Road scholar and other interesting trips
Travel insurance and other defensive measures
Travel tips and resources


Home exchanges, housesitting, and home sharing

Intervac Home Exchange ("We are all richer when we share")
Home Exchange ("Travel anywhere. Live like a local. Stay for free.")
Trusted Housesitters (U.S., "the win-win for pet lovers that travel")
Housecarers.com. "We have many kind, Responsible pet-loving, Live-in Housesitter members, interested in your area who would love to care for your home and pets and gardens (if applicable)."
House Sitting in Retirement: Travelling the World, One House at a Time (Penelope Whitely, Sixty and Me, April 2018) Housesitting tips from a female road warrior.
Enjoy housesitting? Let me count the ways! (HouseSitMatch.com)
Couchsurfing, an online community of travelers who share their spare rooms or couches with strangers for free.
Airbnb (rent unique places to stay from local hosts in 190+ countries). Save money and time. But be aware also of limitations: Home-Sharing? Don’t Ignore Liability (Ron Lieber, Your Money, NY Times, 4-20-12) and Airbnb Has a Hidden-Camera Problem (Sidney Fussell, The Atlantic, 3-26-19) The home-rental start-up says it's cracking down on hosts who record guests. Is it doing enough?

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Real ID

(required as of 10-1-20)

The REAL ID Act: What It Means, State by State Requirements, & Everything Else You Need To Know (Upgraded Points) A real ID is a form of identification that meets increased security standards for state-issued driver's licenses and identification cards. Travelers will be required to provide either a real ID or another TSA-approved form of identification in order to fly after October 1, 2020.
Real ID (Homeland Security) The REAL ID Act establishes minimum security standards for license issuance and production and prohibits Federal agencies from accepting for certain purposes driver’s licenses and identification cards from states not meeting the Act’s minimum standards. The purposes covered by the Act are: accessing Federal facilities, entering nuclear power plants, and, boarding federally regulated commercial aircraft.
Here are acceptable forms of identification (TSA)
REAL ID Compliance is no joke, check your Maryland license or ID card now (John Frenaye, Eye on Annapolis, 12-11-18) Look for similar articles for other states.

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Road scholar and other educational trips

Road Scholar (formerly Elder Hostel--educational tours, adventures afloat, etc.)
Roadtrippers (helps you find places to sightsee and rest). See Classic American Road Trips
Trip Advisor. See the most popular road trips in the US
Road Trip Planner (Apple app)
Tips for a Road Trip (Carol Marak, SeniorCare, Aging Matters)
Road Trip Essentials (Natasha, Adventure Travel Blog, The World Pursuit, 3-19-18)
10 Most Popular Road Trip Routes in the US (Travel Channel)
Six epic drives of the world/Open road adventures (Lonely Planet, which publishes good international travel guides)
Top Tier Detergent Gasolines (licensed brands that have passed tests for quality--is your regular brand on the list?) See also AAA article: Not All Gasoline Created Equal
Uber said it protects you from spying. Security sources say otherwise (Will Evans, Reveal, 12-12-16)

Travel insurance and other defensive measures

Weather Underground Prepare for bad weather and road conditions.
Do you need travel insurance? (Consumer Reports, July 2012) Maybe, if there are gaps in your auto, health, life, or homeowners policies. But buy wisely. "Instead of buying a policy through a travel agent or booking site, go to an online broker such as InsureMyTrip.com, which sells coverage from 21 carriers, including CSA Travel Protection, MedJet Assist, and Travelex." See reviews of travel insurance plans.
Travel Guard (AIG travel insurance for various levels of coverage--for trip cancellation and interruption, for medical expense & transportation coverage, for lost/stolen baggage, for 24/7 travel assistance services, etc.)
The Essential Guide to Travelling with a Medical Condition (InsuranceWith) a pretty good guide to traveling with a medical problem or disabilities, plus they sell travel insurance.
Healthy Traveler (Joan Young's blog) Samples of her work: Take the Sickness out of Motion Sickness (Joan Young, Miles Geek, 8-9-17)
Avoid Zika and Other Mosquito-Borne Diseases (Joan Young, Miles Geek, 3-12-17). See also mosquito-repellent garments and devices on Amazon.

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Travel tips and resources

Best airline and travel credit cards (Airfarewatchdog)
Travellers Point, a social networking site for people who want to learn from or share experiences with other travelers. See various categories: Community (forums), Accommodation, Map, Planner, Travel Guide.
Uber and Lyft (two popular ride-sharing services--you need their app on your smartphone to use them)
Flight Tracker (keep track of where plane is, arriving or departing. Just plug in airline name, flight number, and date.
Envoy America (Safe and reliable transportation, plus assistance and companionship services, even if you have no smartphone app--limited geographic area)
Go Go Grandparent Your agent for affordable rides. Call 1 (855) 464-6872 or 1 (855) GOGO-USA. Use Lyft or Uber without a smartphone. 24/7 operators watch rides and offer support. Text alerts keep families in the loop.
How to Find Cheap Travel Accommodations (Matt Karsten, Expert Vagabond)
Why Bargain Travel Sites May No Longer Be Bargains (Doug Barr, Backchannel, 3-30-17) Aggregators like Expedia have made us lazy — and we may be missing out on the best deals.
Fly-Along Companions Offer a Way for Older People to Travel (Julie Weed, Business Day, NY Times, 9-26-16) The business of providing traveling companions for older adults is still new enough that there are no good statistics on who or how many provide such services. But they are cropping up — not only in the United States but in Europe and Asia — to cater to aging populations who have leisure time and money but diminished capacity for the rigors of travel.
Six Tips for Getting Cheap or Free Airline Upgrades (Julie Weed, Business Day, NY Times, 7-11-16)
How to travel the world in retirement and not go broke (Nanci Hellmich, USA Today, 4-24-14)
Join Us in France (travel podcast)
Six Cost-Saving Tips for Traveling in Retirement Sarah Z. Wexler, Travel + Leisure). Travel off-peak times. Think about getting travel and health insurance. Consider a home swap. And three more.
Sixty and Me travel articles including some on solo travel.
50 Best Places to Travel (Travel & Leisure, 12-6-16) And in 2018. A recurring piece, updated--you can search for later versions.
The 30 Best Trips of 2015 (Tim Neville and Stephanie Pearson, Outside Online, 3-11-15)
101 Travel Tips for Women (Overseas Travel) Download free PDF or read free online.
Retiring travel editor names his top 10 trips (Brian J. Cantwell of Seattle Times, on Bend Bulletin, 4-22-18) via Phyllis Swanson Smith
Want to Travel When You Retire? 7 Tips on How to Pay for It (Beth Braverman, Fiscal Times, 8-17-15) "Don Roy of New England Wealth Advisors says he asks clients to think of travel in retirement in three phases, 'the go-go years, the slow-go years, and the no-go years.' Travel funds in the third phase often get redistributed to cover health care expenses or other costs that tend to hit in old age." See sidebar: Retirement Nomads: How One Couple Makes It Work . Check out Home Sweet Anywhere: How We Sold Our House, Created a New Life, and Saw the World by Lynne Martin.
The Cultural Experience (international battlefield tour, historical tour and cultural tour company offering expert led holidays to destinations throughout the world)
Seniors Traveling Solo: Some Great Solutions (Linda Abbit, Senior Planet) Voluntourism, hostelling, hosted accommodations (Couchsurfing International, Inc., Airbnb), special-interest tours and cruises. Check out the links and the comments. H/T Melissa McGrath
My 30 Best Travel Tips After 6 Years Traveling The World (Matt Karsten, author of Expert Vagabond, his blog on how to travel the world, seek experiences over possessions, and open your mind to new possibilities).
Off the Grid. A blog about escaping the rat race, travelling the world with kids, hacking the sharing economy, and taking your kids out of school (eventually to be a book)
National Transit Map (U.S. Bureau of Transportation Statistics) H/T to Carol Marak, SeniorCare.com
Waiting for a Ride: Transit Access and America's Aging Population (AARP, serious thought about transportation and aging in place)

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Nutrition and diet

Lose weight? Move more. Eat less. 

Anti-aging ‘superfoods’ aren’t enough. Eat brain-healthy foods. (Cara Rosenbloom, WaPo, 12-17-21) To help prevent cardiovascular issues, cognition, problems or wrinkles, eat more whole foods (vegetables, fruits, legumes, whole grains and lean proteins) and fewer ultra-processed foods (fast food, soda and sweets). The MIND diet emphasizes 10 types of “brain-healthy foods,” including berries, leafy greens, vegetables, olive oil, nuts, legumes, fish, poultry and whole grains.

   It recommends cutting back on cheese, butter, red meat, fried food and sweets. recommends:
· At least one dark green leafy vegetable each day.
· Berries at least twice a week.
· At least five servings of nuts per week.
· Beans or legumes at least every other day.
· At least three servings of whole grains per day.
· Poultry (not fried) at least twice a week.
· Fish (not fried) at least once a week.
· Limited consumption of cheese, fast foods and fried foods. (Less than once per week.)
· Less than one tablespoon a day of butter. (Use olive oil instead.)
· Sweets or pastries less than five times per week.
· Red meat no more than three meals per week.
· Wine, preferably red. (No more than one glass daily.)
“Studies show that greater adherence to a MIND dietary pattern is associated with a slower rate of cognitive decline and lower risk of developing Alzheimer's disease,” says Xiaoran Liu, an assistant professor at Rush University Medical Center and the Rush Institute for Healthy Aging.


• Legumes are members of the bean family. Examples: Black beans, black-eyed peas, chickpeas (aka garbanzo beans), green peas, kidney beans, lentils, lima beans, lupins, navy beans, peanuts, soybeans. 

       "Green peas and green beans are eaten in their immature form. Dried peas, chickpeas, beans, and lentils are eaten in their mature form."

     "In terms of importance to humans, the legume family is second only to the grass family. Every major civilization has had a legume as well as a grain as a part of their support system. Examples include: Barley and lentils.  Corn and beans. Rice and soybeans.   [USDA: U.S. Forest Service ]

•  Cereals, grasses, and grains. 35 grasses have been cultivated as cereals. Among them: barley, corn, goat grass, millet, oats, rice, sorghum, and wheat. [U.S. Forest Service, U.S. Department of Agriculture]

• Nuts are actually fruits. They are defined as dry, single-seeded fruits that have high oil content. They are usually enclosed in a leathery or solid outer layer. In botany terms, nuts are strictly a particular kind of dry fruit that has a single seed, a hard shell, and a protective husk. Chestnuts, hazelnuts, pecans and walnuts fit the true definition of a nut. Peanuts and almonds do not meet the botanical definition of a true nut. Peanuts are actually legumes and a fleshy coat like a plum surrounds almonds. Whether they are true "nuts" or not, people throughout the world enjoy these fruits.

26 Healthy Foods With Magnesium to Add to Your Diet (Natalie Rizzo and Lauren Welbank, Runner's World, 7-5-23) Runners may lose this nutrient when they sweat. Natural sources of magnesium (value per amount, from USDA nutrient database): Salmon, tofu, chia seeds, bananas, black beans, spinach, cashews, oats, peanuts, potatoes with skin, brown rice, soy milk, quinoa, kidney beans, whole wheat bread, avocado, raisins, pumpkin seeds, beet greens, cashew butter, dried prunes, white beans, almonds, chickpeas, edamame, dark chocolate.
Foods That Can Help You Poop and Relieve Constipation (Anne Jacobson, GoodRx Health, 2-14-22) The foods we eat, especially how much fiber is in them, can impact how often we poop. Drinking water and getting exercise are also important. Plus other factors and conditions that may affect your regularity.
4 Healthier Cooking Oils (and 4 to Avoid) (Lauren Panoff, Healthline, 5-14-21) Cooking oils have their pros and cons. It’s helpful to choose cooking oils based on their smoke point and degree of processing. Some of the healthier cooking oils (olive oil, avocado oil, sesame oil, and safflower oil) can withstand higher cooking temperatures. Oils you shouldn't use in high-heat cooking: fish or algae oil, flax oil, palm oil, walnut oil. Flax and walnut oil have lower smoke points and are best in cold preparations. Fish and algae oil are intended as supplements, and palm oil comes with ethical considerations
The Worst Foods and Drinks for Your Teeth (Hannah Seo, NY Times, 7-18-22) When assessing how likely a given meal, snack or drink is to harm your dental health, there are two main things to consider, experts say. Sugary foods, in particular, those composed of sucrose, or table sugar. Any foods that are sticky, gooey or chewy, and foods that get stuck in the nooks and crannies of your teeth and the spaces between them. Sugary sodas, juices, energy drinks and milkshakes wash your teeth in sticky and sugary solutions, and they’re acidic to boot. (It’s better to eat the fruit than to drink it.) Also acidic: carbonated beverages like seltzers, and coffees and alcoholic drinks, which are often consumed with sugary syrups and mixers as well.
How Much Fiber Men vs. Women Should Eat Per Day (Essential Stacks) Men should eat more. Look at the numbers. See also Essential Stacks list of 237 high-fibre gut-healthy foods.

Blue Zones Articles and recipes informed by the world's longest-lived cultures (where the most people live past age 90). Dan Buettner's book, The Blue Zones Kitchen: 100 Recipes to Live to 100
The Best Probiotics (James Hamblin, The Atlantic, 8-7-19) One benefit of “eating minimally processed foods is probably fiber, which processing often strips away. Fiber slows the absorption of sugars, so they don’t hit our blood as quickly and cause insulin to spike (as with eating an apple versus drinking apple juice).” Fiber also feeds our microbes. An apple contains about 100 million bacteria—a more diverse range than any dietary supplement.
Food Sleuth Radio (PRX, Melinda Hemmelgarn, registered dietitian and investigative nutritionist) "Helping people think beyond their plates."
We are what we eat? Read this, get healthy, feel better (Part 1, on Pat McNees's blog on aging with grace). See also Part 2.
Am I Destined to Be This Size? (Carey Goldberg, Foodtalk, WBUR, 1-20-2020) "Genes load the gun, and environment pulls the trigger."

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Mediterranean diet scores another win for longevity by improving microbiome (Sandee LaMotte, CNN, 2-18-2020) A study published in the BMJ journal Gut found that eating the Mediterranean diet for just one year altered the microbiome of elderly people in ways that improved brain function and would aid in longevity. The study found the diet can inhibit production of inflammatory chemicals that can lead to loss of cognitive function, and prevent the development of chronic diseases such as diabetes, cancer and atherosclerosis.
ConsumerLab.com. Tod Cooperman and staff produce an excellent free
newsletter and lengthier reviews (via subscription) of supplements rated for cost, safety, and efficacy.
A cardiologist’s take on red meat consumption (Anthony Pearson, Kevin MD, 10-13-19) No longer consuming meat? "We are making gradual progress in rolling back bans on some healthy food, like eggs, but unjustified bans on other healthy foods, like full-fat yogurt and coconut oil, persist...keep in mind that the calories you cut from meat consumption should be replaced by more healthy, nutrient-dense foods like non-starchy vegetables, nuts, dairy fat, avocado, and olive oil and not by low-quality carbs and ultra-processed food, or you may be doing more harm than good.".

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Not Just an Apple a Day: California Doctors Start Prescribing Medically Tailored Meals (Here and Now, WBUR, 7-13-18) Here & Now's Robin Young speaks with Sheri Weiser, associate professor of medicine at UC San Francisco, about California's three-year pilot program in which "doctors are prescribing food as medicine to treat low-income patients with congestive heart failure. The program delivers medically tailored meals to 1,000 patients in eight counties across the state...."When you provide people with healthful food, not only are you helping people with a specific condition like congestive heart failure or diabetes stay healthier, but it's actually helping them address many other comorbidities." The returns on investment are huge, in terms of reduced hospital readmissions, among other things," not to mention "that it's a basic human right to have freedom from hunger" and that "people who are food insecure don't take their medications." Plus which: "we estimated that it costs about half as much to feed people 100 percent of the nutritional requirements for six months as spending one day in the hospital. So one could have significant cost savings on top of improvements in their health and quality of life.”
Jamie Oliver improves Huntington, W.Va.'s eating habits (Jane Black, WaPo, 4-21-10). Follow up with:
Revenge of the Lunch Lady (Jane Black, HuffPost, 2-9-17) How an unassuming bureaucrat outsmarted Jamie Oliver and pulled off an honest-to-god miracle in one of America's unhealthiest cities. (Be sure to read the boxed copy titled The Triumph of the Food Lobbyists, including this paragraph: "Since 1989, the USDA has counted pizza not as a cheese- and fat-delivery device, but as a half-serving of vegetables, thanks to the smear of tomato paste. But in response to new nutrition standards set in 2010, the USDA attempted to double the amount of tomato paste each slice needed to remain in the veggie category. The National Frozen Pizza Institute raised hell, the American Frozen Food Institute nearly doubled its campaign contributions to members of Congress and the old rule still stands." Similar entries for Coke and Pepsi and french fries remind us of how corruptible by $ Congress is.
Investing in Healthy Food Will Save Lives and Dollars (2013) (Union of Concerned Scientists, Science for a Healthy Planet and a Safer World, 2013) Increasing our access to healthy food can have a major impact in reducing the human and economic costs of heart disease. Download the full report, or read the summary.
Butter-in-Law (Jacob Roberts, Distillations, Science History Institute, Spring 2014) Pity butter’s poor relative, margarine, which has shifted from outlaw to savior to villain in the space of 100 years.
More Evidence That Nutrition Studies Don’t Always Add Up (Anahad O’Connor, NY Times, 9-29-18) Dr. Brian Wansink's career as a respected food researcher ended abruptly when several research papers have been retracted because of questions about "scientific validity." "[S]ome experts said they feared it was symptomatic of a broader problem in food and health research. While very few scientists are accused of misconduct or misreporting data, critics have long contended that nutrition research is plagued by a credibility problem. They argue that an alarming number of food studies are misleading, unscientific or manipulated to draw dubious conclusions....Data dredging is fairly common in health research, and especially in studies involving food." Scientists need to publish papers. Reporters are encouraged to write articles that get many clicks.

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Rigged: Supermarket Shelves for Sale (Center for Science in the Public Interest) Download free report on how food companies get their products featured in particular locations in supermarkets. Written by investigative journalist Gary Rivlin. Get a quick look here: Supermarkets “Rigged” through Secret Deals with Food Manufacturers. New investigative report finds slotting fees, “Category Captains,” and other deals that undermine consumer choice. Or listen to Interview with Jessica Almy: Did you know that food manufacturers pay supermarkets hefty prices to have their products placed in strategic supermarket locations? (Food Sleuth Radio)
Pasta Is Good For You, Say Scientists Funded By Big Pasta (Stephanie M. Lee, BuzzFeed, 4-19-18) Facing pressure from the low-carb movement, Barilla and other companies are funding and promoting research that argues pasta is healthy.
Nutrition Science Isn't Broken, It's Just Wicked Hard (Jenna Gallegos, Science Alert, Washington Post, 7-22-17) 'Ludwig called the low-fat craze a "nutritional disaster" because it caused many Americans to give up things we now know to be exceedingly healthy, like avocados, nuts and full-fat yogurt, while reaching for sugar-packed alternatives.' and 'Research had shown that high levels of LDL cholesterol in blood were linked with an increased risk of heart disease and stroke, and we knew eggs were packed with cholesterol. But it turns out that most of the cholesterol in our bodies is made by our liver and doesn't come directly from our diets.'
Nutritionists built close ties with the food industry. Now they’re seeking some distance (Sheila Kaplan, STAT, 10-31-16) The Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics has made some missteps (e.g., the paid endorsement of Kraft singles; the acceptance of soda company money to underwrite meetings) but is cleaning up its act. Lessons learned: Sweetened foods are bad for you, and rates of diabetes are rising. Consumption of salty food is associated with high blood pressure. There’s no doubt of the link between processed meat and heart disease.
New nutrition study presents a case for vegetarian diets for athletes Guys who eat a vegetarian diet are just as strong—and maybe more fit—than men who eat meat, a new study says. (Rachael Schultz, Men's Fitness) "Vegetarian endurance athletes' cardiorespiratory fitness was greater than that for their omnivorous counterparts.."

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Give peas a chance: why pea protein is leading the whey (Emine Saner, The Guardian, 1-9-17) Protein-packed dried and ground yellow split peas are 2017’s first big food trend. "Protein made from peas is far more sustainable than animal-based protein, but dietitians advise that it doesn’t deliver the same nutrients that animal-based protein does (other qualities that make split peas healthy in their whole state, such as fibre, are also removed in the processing).... Eating a balanced diet, including other forms of plant-based protein such beans, lentils, soya products and nut butters, should provide what you need, she says. “The key message is to have a mixture of plant proteins.”
Think hospital food stinks? Norton agrees (Jere Downs, Courier-Journal, 1-17-17) Hospital nutritionists and cafeteria staff in a Louisville hospital chain demanded and got more locally-produced and organic food in its cafeterias. "Eating local is healthy for us. The main message is the journey to your plate is shorter." Prior story: Norton Children's names McDonald's replacement (12-8-16). Goodbye, Big Macs. Hello, Au Bon Pain. Norton Children's Hospital is the 12th hospital nationwide to ban fast food.
This Study on Nearly Half a Million People Has Bad News For The Keto Diet (Science Alert, Hilary Brueck, Business Insider, 9-2-18) "The popular ketogenic diet, which involves strictly limiting carbs to less than 50 grams a day (that's no more than two apples' worth) and subsisting primarily on high-fat foods, is one of those restrictive diets that could have harmful long-term consequences. Other low-carb weight-loss diets that fall into this category include paleo, Atkins, Dukan, and Whole 30. Nutrition experts say that besides their potential for harm, these popular diets are really hard to follow.
'Paleo' Diet May Help Older Women's Hearts, Waistlines (Dennis Thompson, HealthDay,4-3-16 The so-called Paleo diet (a cross between it and the Mediterranean Diet) may help older women lose weight and lower their future risk of diabetes and heart disease, a new study has found. The diet used in the study included lean meat, fish, eggs, vegetables, fruits, nuts and berries, with rapeseed, olive oils and avocado as additional fat sources. It excluded dairy products, cereals, added salt and refined fats and sugar.

     Specific fatty acids associated with insulin resistance were significantly lower in the women eating Paleo-type foods compared with those on the prudent control diet."You're basically eliminating all processed and simple carbohydrates, which we know is one of the exacerbations or causes of overweight, obesity and insulin resistance," said Dr. Caroline Apovian, director of the Nutrition and Weight Management Center at Boston Medical Center. Also, eliminating all dairy could put calcium, vitamin D and potassium intakes at risk, while cutting back on legumes and whole grains could cause deficiencies in fiber, manganese, magnesium and selenium, said nutritionist Connie Diekman. "Avoiding beans and grain foods also makes meeting nutrient needs harder," she said. "The beauty of including all food groups is that, when consumed in proper portions, we can more easily meet nutrient needs. When a food group is skipped, nutrient balance can be impacted." Above all: learn portion control.
A Potassium Primer (Elaine K. Howley, US News, 12-28-18) Not having the right levels of potassium can be dangerous, particularly for the heart. "We know the heart is just one large muscle, so you can imagine how important potassium is for the heart. That electrical activity keeps the heart running," Pidich says. "With that sodium-potassium exchange, it's almost like a finely tuned dance," says Lidich. "One misstep – and that misstep might be coming from diarrhea, vomiting or a medication that changes the level of potassium in the body – that changes everything." Eat those bananas!

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Just Label It! Studies show that more than 90% of Americans support mandatory labeling of genetically modified (GMO) foods. Yet for twenty years we have been denied that. "Chemical and seed companies’ assurances that GMO crops would decrease the need for weed killers have been proven wrong. In fact, the widespread adoption of GMO corn and soybeans – America’s most popular crops – have led to an increase in herbicide use since they were first planted nearly two decades ago." Superweeds have now become an epidemic on farmland in many locations across the country.
Can Breakfast Help Keep Us Thin? Nutrition Science Is Tricky (AP, NY Times, 1-19-17) In its 2010 guidelines, the U.S. government cited breakfast as a way to manage weight. With its 2015 update, though, the government decided to look instead at "the combination of what you eat and drink over time," according to the Health and Human Services Department. As a result, it no longer recommends breakfast for weight loss. Kellogg's has funded many of the breakfast studies over time.
'Magic Soup': How Intermittent Fasting May Enhance The Immune System (Angus Chen, CommonHealth, WBUR, 8-23-19) For years, doctors noticed that when patients with certain diseases went without eating for a day or so, their condition sometimes improved. Patients with rheumatoid arthritis would say they felt better while fasting during Ramadan and, more recently, studies have shown that fasting improves multiple sclerosis symptoms in mice. How fasting might temporarily confer certain health benefits.
Low-salt diets may not be beneficial for all, study suggests (Science Daily, 5-21-16) A large worldwide study has found that, contrary to popular thought, low-salt diets may not be beneficial and may actually increase the risk of cardiovascular disease (CVD) and death compared to average salt consumption. The study suggests that the only people who need to worry about reducing sodium in their diet are those with hypertension (high blood pressure) who also have high salt consumption.
Dietary Supplements Lead to 20,000 E.R. Visits Yearly, Study Finds (Anahad O'Connor, Ask Well, 10-14-16) "A large new study by the federal government found that injuries caused by dietary supplements lead to more than 20,000 emergency room visits a year, many involving young adults with cardiovascular problems after taking supplements marketed for weight loss and energy enhancement....One finding was that emergency room visits caused by supplements occurred predominantly among young people, whereas those for pharmaceutical products occurred in large part among older adults" (emphasis added).


The 50 Best Healthy Food Blogs (Dave Smith, Make Your Body Work)
It's Time to End the War on Salt (Melinda Wenner Moyer, Scientific American, 7-8-11) The zealous drive by politicians to limit our salt intake has little basis in science.
New Vegetarian Recipes to Try (About.com) You can sign up at About Food for a new recipe daily.
Should I drink smoothies? (Mandy Oaklander, Time, 4-2-15) Three out of five experts say yes, but read the reasons to figure out which answer fits you.

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It’s Dinner in a Box. But Are Meal Delivery Kits Cooking? (Kim Severson, Food, NY Times, 4-4-16). They send you the exact ingredients and instructions and you cook the food, but you don't have to shop or figure out what to eat that night! Features meal kit services you can sign up for:
---Hello Fresh
---Blue Apron (original recipes, fresh ingredients, delivered to you)
---Purple Carrot (vegan)
---Peach Dish (food grown in Georgia and recipes from Southern chefs)
---Just Add Cooking (delivered in Boston area by local courier)
---Sun Basket (organic and non-GMO ingredients; gluten-free, paleo, & vegetarian options)
---Marley Spoon
---Home Chef
---Green Blender (a smoothie delivery service). See This new service will deliver smoothie ingredients to your home every week (Jenn Harris, LA Times 1-8-16)

Dinner Is Shipped: From Blue Apron to Plated, the definitive ranking of meals delivered in boxes (Kaitlyn Tiffany, The Verge, 5-25-16) "These five are really just a small sampling of the wealth of options out there — you can order boxes tailored to your personal nutritional deficits, boxes specifically for new moms, boxes that comply with a paleo diet, and newly, boxes of food based around recipes from The New York Times Cooking website." Worth a read if you're deciding which service to try.

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Organic Production Enhances Milk Nutritional Quality by Shifting Fatty Acid Composition: A United States–Wide, 18-Month Study (Charles M. Benbrook et al., PLoS One, 12-9-13) Three choices together would decrease the ω-6/ω-3 ratio among adult women by ∼80% of the total decrease needed to reach a target ratio of 2.3, with relative impact “switch to low ω-6 foods” > “switch to organic dairy products” ≈ “increase consumption of conventional dairy products.” See also Should You Make The Switch To Grass-Fed Whey Protein? (Lauren DelTurco, Vitamin Shoppe, 5-23-17). "...study published in PLOS One, has found that organic, grass-fed milk contains fewer omega-6 fatty acids and more omega-3 fatty acids than the conventional stuff. Many Americans consume too many omega-6 fatty acids from foods like processed veggie oils, and not enough omega-3 fatty acids, which are found in foods like fatty fish, explains Ryan Andrews, M.A., M.S., of Precision Nutrition. And since omega-3 fatty acids support our heart and brain health, and our immune system, we wouldn’t say ‘no’ to getting more out of our dairy. According to the study, grass-fed milk is also higher in CLA (conjugated linoleic acid), a fatty acid that supports lean muscle mass."
Does milk do a body good? Maybe not, a new study suggests(Karen Kaplan, L.A. Times ) Drinking lots of milk did not protect against bone fractures and was linked with early death. Yogurt and other fermented dairy products produced health benefits normally associated with milk. That’s because they are produced with Lactobaccillus bacteria, which eat the lactose and convert it into lactic acid.
Are Baby Carrots as Healthful as Other Carrots? (Roni Caryn Rabin, Well, NY Times, 1-20-17)
14 Foods That Fight Inflammation (Amanda MacMillan, Health/Rheumatoid Arthritis). The foods: Fatty fish, whole grains, dark leafy greens, beets, nuts, soy, low-fat dairy, peppers, tomatoes, ginger and turmeric, garlic and onions, olive oil, berries, tart cherries.
Can the Bacteria in Your Gut Explain Your Mood? Peter Andrey Smith, NY Times Magazine, 6-23-15) The rich array of microbiota in our intestines can tell us more than you might think. "It has long been known that much of our supply of neurochemicals — an estimated 50 percent of the dopamine, for example, and a vast majority of the serotonin — originate in the intestine, where these chemical signals regulate appetite, feelings of fullness and digestion. But only in recent years has mainstream psychiatric research given serious consideration to the role microbes might play in creating those chemicals."
Probiotic Bacteria Chill Out Anxious Mice (Talk of the Nation, NPR, 9-2-11)
Intestinal microbiota, probiotics and mental health: from Metchnikoff to modern advances (Alison C. Bested, Alan C. Logan, and Eva M. Selhub, Gut Pathog. 2013; 5: 3.) The scoop so far on gut-brain-microbiota research. "The emerging research might therefore suggest that at least one bridge between healthy traditional diets and mental health includes resident microbiota."
New Dietary Guidelines Urge Less Sugar for All and Less Protein for Boys and Men (Anahad O'Connor, NY Times, Well, 1-7-16) More veggies, men; more whole grains and vegetable oils.
Rethinking Weight Loss and the Reasons We’re ‘Always Hungry’ (Anahad O'Connor, NY Times, Well, 1-7-16) "Until we address the underlying drivers of weight gain – which are fat cells stuck in calorie storage overdrive – we are going to be in a battle between mind and metabolism that we just can’t win. Cutting back on calories won’t do it. That doesn’t change biology. To change biology, you have to change the kinds of foods you’re eating."
Healthy food that isn't yucky.

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Always Hungry? Here’s Why (David S. Ludwig and Mark I. Friedman, Sunday Review, NY Times, 5-16-14) "Like an infection that raises the body temperature set point, high consumption of refined carbohydrates — chips, crackers, cakes, soft drinks, sugary breakfast cereals and even white rice and bread — has increased body weights throughout the population."'
Sugar Is Definitely Toxic, a New Study Says (Alice Park, Time, 10-28-15) That’s what scientists have concluded from a first-of-its-kind diet study involving overweight kids
The Dark Side of Kale (And How to Eat Around It) (Rachel Zimmerman, WBUR's CommonHealth Reform and Reality, 1-10-14) Cook your kale. Throw a Brazil nut in your smoothie. Eat seaweed. And switch up your greens. If you're on levothyroxine or synthroid (have a thyroid problem), read the comments.
Antioxidants "That a benefit of beta-carotene on cognitive function was seen in the Physicians’ Health Follow-up Study only after 18 years of follow-up is sobering, since no other trial has continued for so long. At the same time, abundant evidence suggests that eating whole fruits, vegetables, and whole grains—all rich in networks of antioxidants and their helper molecules—provides protection against many of these scourges of aging."''

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Vitamins (especially Vitamin D), sunshine, and sunscreen 


Vitamin D, sunshine, and sunscreen
New research examines pros and cons of vitamin D to improve memory (Liz Seegert, Covering Health, AHCJ, 6-4-19) 'For this study, researchers evaluated three groups of 50- to 70-year-old women, in a double-blind, randomized controlled trial.

     One group took the recommended daily dose of 600 international units (IU), of vitamin D each day for a year. Another group took 2,000 IU per day and the third took 4,000. All women participated in lifestyle counseling and were encouraged to lose a modest amount of weight....For one study, researchers evaluated three groups of 50- to 70-year-old women, in a double-blind, randomized controlled trial. One group took the recommended daily dose of 600 international units (IU), of vitamin D each day for a year. Another group took 2,000 IU per day and the third took 4,000. All women participated in lifestyle counseling and were encouraged to lose a modest amount of weight. Memory and learning improved in the group that took 2,000 IU per day, but not in the group that took the higher dosage. Meanwhile, the women's reaction time trended slower at 2,000 IU daily and was significantly slower at the higher dosage. “Many people think that more vitamin D supplementation is better, but this study shows that is not always the case,” Shapses said. A higher daily dose may not be a problem for younger people, but her team hypothesized that it might compromise walking or balance in older adults.'
Vitamin D: The "sunshine" vitamin  A full section on the topic.
Are Vitamin D Levels Jeopardized by Sunscreen? (Genetic Engineering & Technology News, 5-10-19) “Sunscreens may be used to prevent sunburn yet allow vitamin D synthesis,” the authors concluded. “A high UVA‐PF sunscreen enables significantly higher vitamin D synthesis than a low UVA‐PF sunscreen because [the high UVA-PF sunscreen], by default, transmits more UVB than the [low UVA-PF].” See Optimal sunscreen use, during a sun‐holiday with a very high UV index, allows vitamin D synthesis without sunburn (Wiley), On the other hand, How Safe Is Sunscreen? (Aaron E. Carroll, NY Times, 6-10-19) A recent study on absorption into the bloodstream has caused concern, but you should be more worried about skin cancer. 'For now, the proposed rule, which is still open for public comment, suggests that sunscreens with para-aminobenzoic acid (an association with allergies) and trolamine salicylate (an association with bleeding) should not be given the designation “generally regarded as safe 'and effective.”
How to treat sunburn (Delaney Nothaft, USA Today, 6-22-23) Sunburn is "an inflammatory response to UV damage to the skin." UV light can damage the DNA in our cells and, over time, this can lead to skin cancer. If you end up with a sunburn, dermatologist Emily Newsom recommends hydrating, using a cooling gel or lotion like aloe, and taking over-the-counter NSAID (non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs) medications like ibuprofen for pain and inflammation. A tan is your body trying to protect itself--"even in the car, UV light goes through window glass and the car manufacturers only put UV protection in the windshield, not on the sides. So, I usually recommend getting the ceramic coating on your windows."
---And If you have gotten sunburned, says dermatologist Jordan Abbott, "the first thing you can do is apply a cold compress to the affected area. Aloe vera gel can be soothing and has anti-inflammatory properties. You can obtain this directly from the leaves of the plant or in a store-bought formulation. Just be sure to look for pure or 100% aloe vera gel.” She adds, “For pain, one can take an over-the-counter anti-inflammatory medications like ibuprofen or naproxen. As the skin begins to recover, be sure to keep it moisturized with a thick cream or ointment. Products that are fragrance-free and geared toward sensitive skin are good choices.”
Vitamin D, the Sunshine Supplement, Has Shadowy Money Behind It (Liz Szabo, NY Times, 8-18-18) The doctor most responsible for creating a billion-dollar juggernaut has received hundreds of thousands of dollars from the vitamin D industry. There are not many daily lifestyle choices that double your risk of dying.
How to Raise Vitamin D Without Suffering (The People's Pharmacy) Low vitamin D levels cause many health problems, but a 50,000 IU vitamin D2 pill may cause digestive distress. How can you raise vitamin D comfortably?
Obit for Denham Harman explains free radical process (Paul Vietello, NY Times, 11-28-14) Beginning in his 60s, Dr. Harman followed his own advice and took large doses of vitamins E and C and other antioxidants. He also jogged two miles a day until his mid-80s and followed a diet high in antioxidant-rich fruits and vegetables. He died at 98. (Especially rich in antioxidants, Vitamins C and E: fruits and veggies in purple, blue, red, orange, and yellow hues.)

Probiotic Bacteria Chill Out Anxious Mice (Talk of the Nation, NPR, 9-2-11)
Intestinal microbiota, probiotics and mental health: from Metchnikoff to modern advances (Alison C. Bested, Alan C. Logan, and Eva M. Selhub, Gut Pathog. 2013; 5: 3.) The scoop so far on gut-brain-microbiota research. "The emerging research might therefore suggest that at least one bridge between healthy traditional diets and mental health includes resident microbiota."
Older Americans Are Hooked on Vitamins Despite Scarce Evidence They Work (Liz Szabo, KHN, 4-4-18) Although there are more than 90,000 dietary supplements from which to choose, federal health agencies and advisers still recommend that Americans meet their nutritional needs with food, especially fruits and vegetables.
New Dietary Guidelines Urge Less Sugar for All and Less Protein for Boys and Men (Anahad O'Connor, NY Times, Well, 1-7-16) More veggies, men; more whole grains and vegetable oils.
Rethinking Weight Loss and the Reasons We’re ‘Always Hungry’ (Anahad O'Connor, NY Times, Well, 1-7-16) "Until we address the underlying drivers of weight gain – which are fat cells stuck in calorie storage overdrive – we are going to be in a battle between mind and metabolism that we just can’t win. Cutting back on calories won’t do it. That doesn’t change biology. To change biology, you have to change the kinds of foods you’re eating."
Healthy food that isn't yucky.

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Always Hungry? Here’s Why (David S. Ludwig and Mark I. Friedman, Sunday Review, NY Times, 5-16-14) "Like an infection that raises the body temperature set point, high consumption of refined carbohydrates — chips, crackers, cakes, soft drinks, sugary breakfast cereals and even white rice and bread — has increased body weights throughout the population."'
Sugar Is Definitely Toxic, a New Study Says (Alice Park, Time, 10-28-15) That’s what scientists have concluded from a first-of-its-kind diet study involving overweight kids
The Dark Side of Kale (And How to Eat Around It) (Rachel Zimmerman, WBUR's CommonHealth Reform and Reality, 1-10-14) Cook your kale. Throw a Brazil nut in your smoothie. Eat seaweed. And switch up your greens. If you're on levothyroxine or synthroid (have a thyroid problem), read the comments.
We are what we eat? Read this, get healthy, feel better (Part 1, on Pat McNees's blog on aging with grace). See also Part 2.
Antioxidants "That a benefit of beta-carotene on cognitive function was seen in the Physicians’ Health Follow-up Study only after 18 years of follow-up is sobering, since no other trial has continued for so long. At the same time, abundant evidence suggests that eating whole fruits, vegetables, and whole grains—all rich in networks of antioxidants and their helper molecules—provides protection against many of these scourges of aging."''

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Understanding How Memory Works


("The name of the author is the first to go")

the Billy Collins' poem so many of us can identify with


Too Much Sitting May Thin the Part of Your Brain That's Important for Memory, Study Suggests (Melissa Healy, Los Angeles Times, 4-13-18) If you want to take a good stroll down memory lane, new research suggests you'd better get out of that chair more often. In a first-of-its-kind study, researchers have found that in people middle-aged and older, a brain structure that is key to learning and memory is plumpest in those who spend the most time standing up and moving. At every age, prolonged sitters show less thickness in the medial temporal lobe and the subregions that make it up, the study found.
A Leading Memory Researcher Explains How to Make Precious Moments Last (David Marchese, NY Times Magazine, 2-4-24) "People believe that memory should be effortless, but their expectations for how much they should remember are totally out of whack with how much they’re capable of remembering. In the 1880s, the pioneering German memory researcher Hermann Ebbinghaus conducted studies suggesting that people lose nearly two-thirds of newly learned information within a day. Another misconception is that memory is supposed to be an archive of the past. We expect that we should be able to replay the past like a movie in our heads. The problem with that assumption is that we don’t replay the past as it happened; we do it through a lens of interpretation and imagination.

       A few footnotes from this interesting piece: "In the 1880s, the pioneering German memory researcher Hermann Ebbinghaus conducted studies suggesting that people lose nearly two-thirds of newly learned information within a day. Episodic memory is the term for the memory of life experiences. Semantic memory is the term for the memory of facts and knowledge about the world. As Ranganath writes in “Why We Remember,” the “reminiscence bump” — the centrality of memories from the ages of about 10 to 30 — shows up when people list their favorite movies, books or music, which tend to come from that period in peoples’ lives."
Memory (The Skeptic's Dictionary) "Memory researchers distinguish several types of memory systems. Semantic memory contains conceptual and factual knowledge. Procedural memory allows us to learn new skills and acquire habits. Episodic memory allows us to recall personal incidents that uniquely define our lives (Schacter, 1996, 17). Another important distinction is that between field and observer memory. Field memories are those where one sees oneself in the scene. Observer memories are those seen through one's own eyes. The fact that many memories are field memories is evidence, as Freud noted, of the reconstructive nature of memories (Schacter, 1996, 21)."
Forget About It: Your Middle-Aged Brain Is Not on the Decline (Barbara Bradley Hagerty, All Things Considered, NPR, 3-15-16). Listen or read. "Crystallized intelligence is our accumulated experience and skills, general knowledge, vocabulary that we learn across our lifespan, so to speak," says cognitive neuroscientist Susanne Jaeggi. Crystallized intelligence can keep rising through your 60s and 70s. Fluid intelligence is "our ability to solve new problems or approach or reason without relying on previously acquired knowledge or skills or experience," Jaeggi says. Working memory is "your ability to hold information in your head as you manipulate, juggle and update it"..."If we can strengthen working memory skills, we might see benefits on all other tasks that rely on the functioning of the working memory system, such as fluid intelligence or reading comprehension or others," she says.
Recall of previously unrecallable information following a shift in perspective (Richard C. Anderson and James W. Pichert, Journal of Verbal Learning and Verbal Behavior via Science Direct, Feb. 1978) "College undergraduates read a story about two boys playing hooky from school from the perspective of either a burglar or a person interested in buying a home. After recalling the story once, subjects were directed to shift perspectives and then recall the story again. In two experiments, subjects produced on the second recall significantly more information important to the second perspective that had been unimportant to the first. They also recalled less information unimportant to the second perspective which had been important to the first. These data clearly show the operation of retrieval processes independent from encoding processes."
Stronger Memory: Improve Your Brain Health (57-minute video, Goodwin House, 3-30-21) Rob Liebreich and his family noticed that his mother, Wendy, had started repeating herself and struggling with her ability to focus. Working first with his mother and then with Goodwin House, he designed a curriculum to stimulate the brain’s prefrontal cortex, which governs our ability to retrieve memories. The program encourages participants to spend 20 to 30 minutes a day in physical movement, and another 20 to 30 minutes a day doing three things: quickly completing a page of simple math problems, writing or journaling in response to writing prompts, and reading aloud (download math problems and writing prompts here). Speed is more important than correctness on the math problems. With writing prompts he encourages people to write longhand, which engages the prefrontal cortex more than typing does. These activities also improve focus.
What happens to our lost childhood memories? Motherhood sent me looking for answers. (Missy Ryan, Washington Post, 2-4-21) "One theory is that the rapid development during early childhood of new neurons in the hippocampus region of the brain, which is associated with memory and learning, interferes with memory retention, potentially by replacing synapses that are linked to specific memories. Researchers seem to agree that as children’s ability to retain memories emerges, their ability to recall particular events is increased when adults talk to them about what they experienced after the fact....For parents, the notion that the impact of painful events can transcend children’s memories is unsettling. But the converse idea is a hopeful one: that the acts of love we show our young children every day, though they will eventually be lost to childhood amnesia, leave an enduring mark."
Daydreaming is good for you, and other things I want kids to know about their brains (Deborah Farmer Kris, WaPo, 10-22-19) Daydreaming builds creativity, so let your mind wander sometimes. You can also train your brain to focus. Practice tuning out distractions while focusing on one task at a time. "Perhaps the best strategy for “focus training” is really simple: The Pomodoro Technique. Have your child set a timer for 25 minutes and choose one activity that they will focus on for that time: reading a book, drawing a picture, building a structure, practicing piano, or working on math homework. When the timer goes off, give them a break. If 25 minutes is too much, start with 15 or 20 and build up." Read about the Pomodoro Technique in  Procrastinating? Still? How a Tomato Timer Can Help You Stop Putting Things Off (MindShift, KQED, 8-6-18)
Learning How to Learn: How to Succeed in School Without Spending All Your Time Studying; A Guide for Kids and Teens by Barbara Oakley, author of the equally helpful A Mind for Numbers: How to Excel at Math and Science (Even If You Flunked Algebra)
When the Brain Goes First (Dying By Inches: A Woman at the End of Life, 12-29-19)
• Iowa metereologist Eric Sorenson “began to suffer inexplicable memory loss” and took time off to figure out what was going on. Detecting a vitamin B12 deficiency, his doctor prescribed the vitamin and his memory improved.
Elderly People Look at Their Younger Reflections in This Beautiful Photo Series by Tom Hussey (Digital Synopsis) The photographs show an elderly person looking pensively at the reflection of his/her younger self in the mirror.
Top 25 films on memory (The Arts & Faith, Image Journal) Interesting commentary on such films as The Manchurian Candidate, Blade Runner, The Remains of the Day, 8 1/2, Memento, Rashôman -- on different ways of viewing memory's influence, aspects.
Why Our Memory Fails Us (Christopher Chabris and Daniel Simons NY Times 12-1-14) "When we recall our own memories, we are not extracting a perfect record of our experiences and playing it back verbatim. Most people believe that memory works this way, but it doesn’t. Instead, we are effectively whispering a message from our past to our present, reconstructing it on the fly each time. We get a lot of details right, but when our memories change, we only “hear” the most recent version of the message, and we may assume that what we believe now is what we always believed."
6 Types of Normal Memory Lapses (Mary A. Fischer, AARP, 8-1-12) How to minimize those senior moments. "We're all accessing the same brain networks to remember things, says Babcock, "but we have to call in the troops to do the work when we get older, while we only have to call in a few soldiers when you're younger."
Experiments with Memory ("Barry," guest post on Lynne Kelly's blog, Oct. 2016). After reading Kelly's book (The Memory Code: The Secrets of Stonehenge, Easter Island and Other Ancient Monuments), Barry tried creating his own memory system, memorizing sites on his daily ten-minute walk to town, photographing them, giving them names, and then using that system to memorize the periodic table of elements, associating each element with aspects of his walk (as an exercise in remembering).
Can't Remember What I Forgot: The Good News from the Front Lines of Memory Research(Sue Halpern’s research into what really works about limiting normal memory loss)
Why Walking Through a Doorway Makes You Forget (Charles B. Brenner and Jeffrey M. Zacks, Scientific American, 12-13-11) Scientists measure the "doorway effect," and it supports a novel model of human memory
Forgetfulness , the wonderful animated Billy Collins poem
How Human Memory Works (Richard C. Mohs, How Stuff Works)
Memory (Wikipedia). Excellent outline of the basics, and good links to more.
Want a better memory? Stop and smell the roses (Maggie Fox, Reuters, 3-12-07) German researchers found they could use odors to re-activate new memories in the brains of people while they slept -- and the volunteers remembered better later.
Memory Disorders (succinct list, The Human Memory, which also has succinct explanations of episodic & semantic memory (and other angles on the topic)
The Brain from Top to Bottom (McGill University)
Your Brain: The Missing Manual (Matthew MacDonald)
10 Early Signs and Symptoms of Alzheimer's (Alzheimer's Association) Scroll down for Typical age-related memory loss and other changes compared to Alzheimer's
Do You Remember Me?: A Father, a Daughter, and a Search for the Self by Judith Levine. The memoir of a daughter coming to terms with a difficult father who is sinking into dementia and an insightful exploration of the ways we think about disability, aging, and the self as it resides in the body and the world.
Alzheimer's disease (links to many excellent explanations)
An Ancient and Proven Way to Improve Memory; Go Ahead and Try It (Austin Frakt, The New Health Care/The Upshot, NY Times, 3-24-16) Try A Short Puzzle to Test Your Memory (thanks to Jasmine C. Lee, Jennifer Daniel, and Kevin Quealy).
My 25 Memory Experiments (Lynne Kelly) The Navajo memorize over 700 insects to three levels of classification, along with all their characteristics....All non-literate cultures memorize a huge amount of information. They use song, dance, stories, mythology and combine all the methods into an intricate knowledge system. And they use a vast array of physical memory aids. The ‘art of memory’ or ‘method of loci’ is the most effective memory method ever devised, which is why it can be found in one form or another in every non-literate and pre-literate culture. Lynne Kelly has adapted the idea of memory paths in these 25 memory experiments.
Dementia, non-Alzheimer's (including frontotemporal dementia, or FTD) and how it differs from Alzheimer's disease.

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Cognitive skills and development

(whatever your age)

Certain type of training can improve driving skills of older adults (EurekAlert, University of South Florida researchers, 4-4-16) Older drivers can see their driving abilities improve by participating in certain types of training that improves the brain's processing speed and how the mind reacts when attention is divided, according to a new study. Cognitive "speed of processing" training (SPT) not only improved mental quickness and attention, but also had the potential to help prevent declines in a range of driving skills (driving mobility) among older drivers. "One of the most important predictors of driving mobility is cognitive speed of processing - how quickly people can process information and act on it." The training used is a computerized, adaptive cognitive intervention designed to increase the speed at which participants can accurately decipher increasingly complex information. The exercises are targeted at enhancing the brain's processing speed and improving divided attention.
Why Buddhism is true (Sean Illing, Vox, 4-12-2020) Robert Wright on the wisdom of mindfulness meditation. In part: We're not living in the environment that we were designed for, which causes anxiety. We're not designed to be happy and we're not designed to see the world clearly. We fear things more often than fear is warranted. A lot of our feelings are not to be trusted. Meditation liberates you from the tyranny of feelings. An interesting, persuasive explanation of meditation's potential power.
Steps for Better Thinking (Susan Wolcott, Introduction to 7-part video). Five Patterns of Thinking. See

---Pattern O: Confused Fact-Finder (people looking for single correct answer).

---Pattern 1: Biased Jumper (people who jump to conclusions and then stack up evidence to support their conclusions; ignore contradictory evidence).

---Pattern 2: Perpetual Analyzer (people who provide lots of discussion and analysis, but have trouble reaching a conclusion).

---Pattern 3: Pragmatic Performer (people who tend to stop when they reach a conclusion; may ignore risks and limitations and changing circumstances--may be confused with biased jumper).

---Pattern 4: Strategic Revisioner (highest cognitive stage we know about, more likely to think "out of the box"--embraces uncertainty, addresses change, builds new knowledge). We don't see this a lot. Overview of the five patterns (and importance of knowing at which stage your students are, and how to help them reach next stages). H/T Stephanie West Allen. Should be required "reading" for educators in higher education.
We don’t have a hundred biases, we have the wrong model (Jason Collins, Works in Progress, 1-21-22) The dominant model of human decision-making across many disciplines is the rational-actor model. Behavioral economics has identified dozens of cognitive biases that stop us from acting ‘rationally.’ Instead of building up a messier and messier picture of human behavior, we need a new model.

Cognitive Skills and the Aging Brain: What to Expect (Diane B. Howieson, Cerebrum, The Dana Foundation, 12-1-15) How mental health functions react to the normal aging process, including why an aging brain may even form the basis for wisdom. Read this when you're feeling strong.
Brains on Purpose: Neuroscience and conflict resolution (Stephanie West Allen, JD, in collaboration with Jeffrey M. Schwartz, MD).
Piaget's theory of cognitive development (Wikipedia entry)
Elderly adults' perception of their own cognitive development during the adult years (Williams SA, Denney NW, Schadler M. PubMed)
Changes in Cognitive Function in Human Aging (Elizabeth L. Glisky, Chap.1 from Brain Aging) Attention, memory, perception, speech and language, decision-making, executive control
Mental Maps and the Neuroscience of Neighborhood Blight (Rick Paulas, Pacific-Standard, 6-15) Getting a better sense of how people visualize their neighborhoods could be the first step toward improving them. “A mental map is often a map of social behavior, a whole ideology of life, a whole culture.” “Animals aren't going to forget about a fearful place because it's about survival, and that's carried over to humans. It's much easier for a neighborhood to go bad and for people to remember it as bad than for a neighborhood to be revived."
" “One of the few advantages of age is that you can report on it with a certain authority; you are a native now, and know what goes on here....Our experience is one unknown to most of humanity, over time. We are the pioneers."~ novelist Penelope Lively, at 82

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Managing modern life and electronics

Finding the best medical alert systems, for example


"We live in a hyperactive society. Anything less than mania counts as depression."~psychologist James Hillman
GoGoGrandparent lets people use Lyft and Uber without a smartphone, with rides monitored by 24/7 operators and alerts for emergency contacts.Request meal & grocery delivery conveniently and easily with our Quick Order phone system.The basic membership now carries a monthly fee of $9.99, enabling customers to order an Uber or Lyft from any phone, no app required. There is also a Concierge Fee, of $0.27 per minute, added to the fare and billed to your credit card by GoGo Grandparent. No cash is exchanged. Your agent for affordable rides. 24/7 operators add reliability and extra eyes. Keep emergency contacts in the loop. Buy a GoGoGrandparent gift card for a friend Give the gift of mobility to someone of any age. The recipient of your GoGo Giftcard will be able to get a ride with a quick phone call – no apps, no worries.
Medical Alert Systems: Selection Guide The Tech-enhanced Life guide to medical alert systems & services for older adults. (These products are also known as personal emergency response systems, or PERS.) This guide is designed to help you answer the question: "Which medical alert system is right for me?" See, for example, Smartwatch as Medical Alert? and Smart Watch vs Traditional Medical Alert.
Caring from Afar: Guide to Home Sensor Systems for Seniors (Tech-enhanced Life) Do you worry about aging parents? Are you concerned about what would happen if they fell, or if they left the stove on, or if they had an accident and you were not there to help, then the results of this research project on Activity-tracking Home Sensor Systems are for you. See also Is the home that watches over your parents for you?
Caring from Afar: A Guide to Home Sensor Systems for Aging Parents, the book, by Richard Caro and Mary Hulme
Riding the Juggernaut That Left Print Behind (David Carr Media, NY Times, 7-20-14) "We are all on that train, the one that left print behind, the one where we are constantly in real time, where we know a little about everything and nothing about anything, really. And there is no quiet car."
The Costs of Aging Handbook (National Aging in Place Council)
Calming Computer Jitters: Help for Seniors Who Aren’t Tech-Savvy (Judith Graham, Navigating Aging, Kaiser Health News, 6-24-21) Millions of older adults want to be comfortable going online and using digital tools to enhance their lives. But many need help. A number of groups around the country offer assistance
---Tutorials by Generations Online offer an online curriculum for smartphones and tablets
---Cyber-Seniors pairs older adults with high school or college students who serve as technology mentors.If you are a Senior Citizen looking for free technology support and training, call them toll-free at 844-217-3057 or choose one of the options here .
---National Assistive Technology Act Technical Assistance and Training (AT3) Center The AT3 Center is poised to provide state Assistive Technology Act programs with useful and current information regarding the provision of access to and acquisition of assistive technology devices and services to people with disabilities and seniors.
---Senior Planet (which also offers online fitness programs)
---Aging Connected Help getting older adults online help finding low-cost internet options. Or call (877) 745-1930.
OATS (Older Adults Technology Services) is set to expand the reach of its digital literacy programs significantly after a recent affiliation with AARP. It runs a national hotline for people seeking technical support, 1-920-666-1959, and operates Senior Planet technology training centers in six cities (New York; Denver; Rockville, Maryland; Plattsburgh, New York; San Antonio, Texas; and Palo Alto, California). All in-person classes converted to digital programming once the pandemic closed down much of the country.
---Candoo Tech Provides tech support and training in some states to help older adults feel more comfortable with phones, computers, tablets,
---GetSetUp “Someone can call in [1-888-559-1614] and we’ll walk them through the whole process of downloading an app, usually Zoom, and taking our classes.” GetSetUp is offering about 80 hours of virtual technology instruction each week.
How Not to Pay the Price for Free Wi-Fi (Stephanie Rosenbloom, Travel, NY Times, 6-4-14)
A Tech Test to Keep Seniors in Their Homes Longer (Sumathi Reddy, WSJ, 7-25-18) Sensors monitor daily activity, from taking pills to driving, in an effort to flag early signs of medical problems. Early signs of cognitive decline may be detected through changes in computer use or driving. Changes in gait and movement may flag frailty issues.
20 Providers Offering $30-a-Month High-Speed Internet Access (Ed Waldman, AARP, 8-16-22) Affordable Connectivity Program participation increases nearly 50 percent since first of year.
Tips on Reducing Cable and Phone Bills From Ethically Ambiguous Experts (Ron Lieber, NY Times, 2-6-16) Tips on how to get the most for your money, at the lowest rates possible. Negotiate anew each year.
Cutting Off Those Recurring Charges You Forgot About (Ron Lieber, NY Times, 1-29-16)
Keep your phone safe (Consumer Reports, June 2014) How to protect yourself from wireless threats
Life After 'Life': Aging Inmates Struggle For Redemption (part 1 of a 2-part series, Laura Sullivan, All Things Considered, NPR News Investigations, 6-4-14) Listen to story or read transcript.
Science Says Silence Is Much More Important To Our Brains Than We Think (Rebecca Beris, Lifehack)
Paroled From Life Sentences, Aging Ex-Cons Find World That Didn't Wait (part 2 of a 2-part series, Laura Sullivan, All Things Considered, NPR News Investigations, 6-5-14). Listen to story or read transcript.
3 steps to take immediately if your phone is stolen or lost (Symantec)
Privacy and identity theft fact sheets (Identity Theft Resource Center, ITRC, 1-888-400-5530)

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Making and keeping friends

(and why friendship is good for you)

Friend love is the best kind of love
because we don't have to break up
if you start wearing a fedora

 (greeting in a birthday card from a friend)

What the Longest Study on Human Happiness Found Is the Key to a Good Life (Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz, The Atlantic, 1-19-23) The Harvard Study of Adult Development has established a strong correlation between deep relationships and well-being. The question is, how does a person nurture those deep relationships? We neglect our connections with others at our peril. Investing in our social fitness is possible each day, each week of our lives. Even small investments today in our relationships with others can create long-term ripples of well-being.
How to Weather the ‘Midlife Happiness Dip’ (Markham Heid, The Nuance. Medium) Somewhere between the ages of 45 and 50 — the average person’s wellbeing will bottom out. Thankfully, it will then start to rise again. Old friends and new ambitions offer protection from the perils of middle age.
When Your Greatest Romance Is a Friendship (Victor Lodato, Modern Love, 2-24-17) "What was perplexing, I suppose, was not that two people of such different ages had become friends, but that we had essentially become best friends. Others regarded our devotion as either strange or quaint, like one of those unlikely animal friendships: a monkey and a pigeon, perhaps."
Big Friendship: How We Keep Each Other Close the book by Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman, hosts of the podcast Call Your Girlfriend. "A deeply funny and immensely heartfelt look into what makes a friendship last despite time, distance, trials and major life changes." ~Elle

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The Friendship Files (a series in The Atlantic)
---The Six Forces That Fuel Friendship (Julie Beck, The Atlantic, 6-10-22) I've spent more than three years interviewing friends for "The Friendship Files." Here's what I've learned.
---It's Your Friends Who Break Your Heart (Jennifer Senior, The Atlantic, 2-9-22) The older we get, the more we need our friends—and the harder it is to keep them.
---Why Making Friends in Midlife Is So Hard (Katharine Smyth, The Atlantic, 1-22) I thought I was done dating. But after moving across the country, I had to start again—this time, in search of platonic love.
---She Wouldn't Exist if Not for Her Friend's Family (Julie Beck, 6-10-22) "It's shown me the extent to which human beings can be extraordinary to each other."
---How Friendships Change in Adulthood (Julie Beck, The Atlantic, 10-22-15) "Friendships are unique relationships because unlike family relationships, we choose to enter into them. And unlike other voluntary bonds, such as marriages and romantic relationships, they lack a formal structure. You wouldn't go months without speaking with or seeing your significant other (hopefully), but you might go that long without contacting a friend."
---How Friendship Changes at the End of Life (Julie Beck, The Atlantic, 10-15) "People become frightened at the end of life. Sometimes I see them moving away from friends as they get sicker. Once people get past that fear of what's going on, they can be friends again."
---Want Closer Friendships? Move Away From Your Friends. (Maggie Mertens, 6-22-22) Distance, as it turns out, isn't the barrier to deep relationships that some may think.

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Scientists Warn of A “Friendship Recession” — I’m Part of It (Addie Page, Medium) The issue we are seeing now is something called ‘learned loneliness’ — people have adjusted to isolation. It’s not that they have gone off socializing, it’s that they have learned to live with an unfulfilled need. And the 11–3–6 rule that might help. ("It takes about 11 different encounters that are each three hours long, over the course of six months or so, to turn an acquaintance into an actual friend.")
A New Take on Women and Aging (Clare Ansberry, WSJ, 1-9-19) Clinical psychologist Mary Pipher wrote “Reviving Ophelia,” a seminal book about adolescent girls, and now she explores the survival skills older women need to be happy: gratitude ("a skill that we build in response to pain and suffering"), managing expectations ("not everything that happens each day is going to be wonderful"), a sense of humor, and engagement with friends ("my mental health insurance program"). "I’m aware the runway is short. I try to work very hard to be in the moment and be present and grateful, but it’s easier said than done."
The Friendship Report (Friendship Around the World, 2019, Snapchat) A serious report: The Age Paradox: Gen Z have more in common with Boomers from other cultures than they do with their own grandparents. The Gender (Non)Gap: Friendships still adhere to some traditional gender norms, but the dynamics are shifting globally Friends: The Family You Pick. "The big thing that differentiates friendships from other relationshipsis the fact that they're voluntary." A Friend in Need: Friendship is a kind of therapy, but a few strong friendships are better than many weak ones 20 to Life: "Our research shows that the average age people meet their best friend is 21."
Why We Lose Friends in Midlife (Deborah Quilter, Next Avenue, 8-6-14) Six situations that make us 'break up' with our one-time BFFs. But see also How to Find an Old Friend (Bev Beckham, Next Avenue, 6-6-14) A practical guide for locating a pal from your past.

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Making and keeping friends

The Friendship Files (a series in The Atlantic)
---The Six Forces That Fuel Friendship (Julie Beck, The Atlantic, 6-10-22) I've spent more than three years interviewing friends for "The Friendship Files." Here's what I've learned.
---It's Your Friends Who Break Your Heart (Jennifer Senior, The Atlantic, 2-9-22) The older we get, the more we need our friends—and the harder it is to keep them.
---Why Making Friends in Midlife Is So Hard (Katharine Smyth, The Atlantic, 1-22) I thought I was done dating. But after moving across the country, I had to start again—this time, in search of platonic love.
---She Wouldn't Exist if Not for Her Friend's Family (Julie Beck, 6-10-22) "It's shown me the extent to which human beings can be extraordinary to each other."
---How Friendships Change in Adulthood (Julie Beck, The Atlantic, 10-22-15) "Friendships are unique relationships because unlike family relationships, we choose to enter into them. And unlike other voluntary bonds, such as marriages and romantic relationships, they lack a formal structure. You wouldn't go months without speaking with or seeing your significant other (hopefully), but you might go that long without contacting a friend."
---How Friendship Changes at the End of Life (Julie Beck, The Atlantic, 10-15) "People become frightened at the end of life. Sometimes I see them moving away from friends as they get sicker. Once people get past that fear of what's going on, they can be friends again."
---Want Closer Friendships? Move Away From Your Friends. (Maggie Mertens, 6-22-22) Distance, as it turns out, isn't the barrier to deep relationships that some may think.


When Your Greatest Romance Is a Friendship (Victor Lodato, Modern Love, 2-24-17) "What was perplexing, I suppose, was not that two people of such different ages had become friends, but that we had essentially become best friends. Others regarded our devotion as either strange or quaint, like one of those unlikely animal friendships: a monkey and a pigeon, perhaps."
Big Friendship: How We Keep Each Other Close the book by Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman, hosts of the podcast Call Your Girlfriedn. "A deeply funny and immensely heartfelt look into what makes a friendship last despite time, distance, trials and major life changes." ~Elle
The Friendship Report (Friendship Around the World, 2019, Snapchat) A serious report.

   The Age Paradox: Gen Z have more in common with Boomers from other cultures than they do with their own grandparents.

   The Gender (Non)Gap: Friendships still adhere to some traditional gender norms, but the dynamics are shifting globally

   Friends: The Family You Pick. "The big thing that differentiates friendships from other relationshipsis the fact that they're voluntary."

   A Friend in Need: Friendship is a kind of therapy, but a few strong friendships are better than many weak ones

  20 to Life: "Our research shows that the average age people meet their best friend is 21."
Finding Female Friends Over 50 Can Be Hard. These Women Figured It Out. (Rozette Rago, NY Times, 12-31-18) Rago formed a meetup group for women over 50 and had 200 members after two weeks, which quickly grew to 800. Art galleries were a favorite destination. “There were meet-ups that were generalized for those in their 20s, 30s and 40s, but there was nothing for older women,” said the founder of a group in Los Angeles. “And I didn’t want men.” Now there's a waiting list for the Los Angeles Meetup group for Finding Female Friends Past Fifty (FFF-F)

Loneliness Can Be Deadly for Elders; Friends Are the Antidote (Paula Span, New Old Age, NY Times, 12-30-17) '"Laura Carstensen, a Stanford University psychologist, developed an influential theory called “socioemotional selectivity”: As people sense their remaining time growing brief, they shed superficial relationships to concentrate on those they find most meaningful....A tide of recent research underscores the importance of such bonds. Social isolation and loneliness can take a serious toll on elders, psychologically and physically....Are there better ways to help elders stay in touch with the friends they care about, or meet new ones? We’re all willing to drive relatives to doctors’ appointments; driving them to spend time with friends may matter as much.'
The 36 Questions That Lead to Love (Daniel Jones, NY Times, 1-11-15) The idea is that mutual vulnerability fosters closeness.

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Dealing with loneliness

(learning to connect)


“It is strange to be known so universally and yet to be so lonely.”  ~ Albert Einstein
"Revealing oneself is an act of radical generosity: Letting oneself be seen allows others to do the same.
And this vulnerability creates connection; this connection creates community."
—Robin MacArthur

Like Hunger Or Thirst, Loneliness In Seniors Can Be Eased (Judith Graham, Kaiser Health News/KHN, 5-18-17) What helped older adults who had been lonely recover? Two factors: spending time with other people and eliminating discord and disturbances in family relationships.
Just Say Hello: The Powerful New Way to Combat Loneliness (Sanjay Gupta, MD, on Oprah.com) reports on an epidemic quietly sweeping society—and why we should all speak up. Too many of us are missing out on chances for connection.
Why loneliness should be treated as a public health crisis (Lois M. Collins,Deseret News, 6-25-21) Infrastructure, stigma, ageism, education and inequality all contribute to the costly burden loneliness creates.
Loneliness at Epidemic Levels (Cigna) People who have daily meaningful in-person interactions score 20 points lower on the Loneliness Index and are healthier than those who never have meaningful in-person interactions. Only 53% of Americans have meaningful in-person interations on a daily basis.
Are You Feeling Lonely? This questionnaire from Cigna measures your feelings of loneliness and offers solutions to help increase your social connections.
Talk Less. Listen More. Here’s How. (Kate Murphy   NY Times, 1-10-2020) Good listeners ask good questions. Research indicates that when people who don’t know each other well ask each other these types of questions, they feel more connected than if they spent time together accomplishing a task.

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Fighting Social Isolation Among Older Adults (PDF, GreatCall) AARP's 2017 white paper, Connecting the Lonely defined ‘loneliness’ as “the way people perceive their experience [of social isolation] – that is, whether they feel isolated or not.” Scroll down to page 12 for links to Technology for Aging in Place devices (Amazon Echo Show, Bose hearing aid, Breezie tablet, Embodied Labs, Eversound, Google Home, grandPad (a tablet for seniors), Intuition Robotics, iN2L, GreatCall Jitterbug Phones, JoyforAll Pets, Starkey Livio AI, MyndVR, OneClick.Chat, Oticon, Nuheara, Rendever).
How Good Are You at the Art of Conversation? A Quiz (Susan Heitler, Psychology Today, 7-6-15) Ask open-ended questions, not questions that can be answered Yes or No.
The American Loneliness Epidemic: Are Poor Social Skills to Blame? (Shawn Radcliffe, Healthline, 5-21-18) Loneliness in the United States is on the rise, but psychologists believe we can reverse that trend by taking a few simple steps. “If we had only one piece of data that we could use to predict the happiness of an individual, it would be the strength of their social connections,” Bono said. Bacchus agrees, saying, “Everything we do should be geared to our social functioning — how we live, who we love, the friends we have, feeling engaged, and being passionate about our career.”
Isolation and Loneliness: Voice-Activated Technology Might Help (Christina Ianzito, AARP Bulletin, July 2018) A pilot program shows positive results for some older Americans. The banter between human and machine seems to help residents feel more connected, says Lisa Budlow, chief operating officer of Comprehensive Housing Assistance Inc.

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'Elder Orphans' Have A Harder Time Aging In Place (Carol Marak, Forbes, 9-8-16). Common topics: Affordable housing, transportation, city strategies for aging,
Like Hunger Or Thirst, Loneliness In Seniors Can Be Eased (Judith Graham, Kaiser Health News/KHN, 5-18-17) What helped older adults who had been lonely recover? Two factors: spending time with other people and eliminating discord and disturbances in family relationships.
The Loneliest Generation: Americans, More Than Ever, Are Aging Alone (Janet Adamy and Paul Overberg, WSJ, 12-11-18) "Baby boomers are aging alone more than any generation in U.S. history, and the resulting loneliness is a looming public health threat. About one in 11 Americans age 50 and older lacks a spouse, partner or living child, census figures and other research show."

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Campaign helps seniors suffering from social isolation and loneliness (Karina Shedrofsky, USA Today, 11-16-16) Prolonged social isolation can equal the health risks of smoking 15 cigarettes a day, according to a report from the AARP Foundation....Once a local agency identifies that there’s a problem, it may refer seniors to programs such as Friendly Visitor in Montgomery County, Maryland, which recruits and trains volunteers who visit lonely, isolated and homebound seniors for at least one hour per week. If you are looking for assistance for yourself or a loved one, call the Eldercare Locator call center at: (800) 677-1116
Elder Orphans Facebook group
Shaking Off Loneliness (Jane E. Brody, Well, NY Times, 5-13-13)
The Lethality of Loneliness (Judith Shulevitz, New Republic, 5-13-13). We now know how it can ravage our body and brain
Depression May Raise Risk of Gut Infection (Nicholas Bakalar, Well, NY Times, 5-8-13)
Hearing loss and hearing aids. Hearing loss can be a major contributor to loneliness. Don't put off getting our hearing checked, and you can find affordable hearing aids at Costco.
The High Price of Loneliness (Judith Graham, Well, NY Times, 6-18-12) “Sometimes for older people, just realizing that someone is listening and they’re not being ignored makes a difference.”

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Learning To Live With Loneliness (The Art of Aging, 5-19-09)
Meetup.com (neighbors getting together to learn something, do something, share something…)
For Longevity, Preventing Loneliness Is as Critical as Healthy Diet, Exercise (Francesca Friday, Observer, 1-17-18)
Vivek Murthy: The Loneliness Epidemic The US Surgeon General embarked on a listening tour to determine what was ailing Americans. The answer surprised him. In this soulful conversation, he speaks with Kate Bowler about loneliness as a public health crisis and how the experience of disconnection affects our ability to weather life’s most difficult storms.
Aging Alone Doesn't Have to Mean Lonely (Walker Thornton, Senior Planet, 11-8-13). "Loneliness is not tied to relationship status, and it’s a fallacy to assume that marriage or cohabitation is the solution. Ask anyone who’s been in an unhappy, non-communicative marriage....Maybe what we need as we plan for old age is to expand our social connections and interactions – not look for a husband." Online friendships can supplement real life relationships.
Accidentally Ingested Toothpicks Causing Severe Gastrointestinal Injury: A Practical Guideline for Diagnosis and Therapy Based on 136 Case Reports (World Journal of Surgery, 10-29-13) More than half of patients were unaware they had swallowed a toothpick. Dangers everywhere!
Radio host about lonely 95-year-old caller: ‘We’ve all got a Bill in our lives.’ (Colby Itkowitz, WaPo, 10-23-15) "Palmer, who lives alone, called his favorite BBC radio show during a segment on finding love later in life. He spoke of his wife, a friend of 30 years who he only married a year ago. She’s now living in a home with dementia and he misses her terribly. His story was picked up worldwide, including by The Washington Post....And loneliness does not just manifest in older people when they live alone. A 2012 study by University of California San Francisco found that 43 percent of elderly people felt lonely, but only 18 percent of them lived alone."
This man takes seniors on a bike ride around town (video, David Avocado Wolfe)
Going Solo: The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone by Eric Klinenberg
Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection by John T. Cacioppo and William Patrick
So Lonely I Could Die (American Psychological Association, 8-5-17) Social isolation, loneliness could be greater threat to public health than obesity, researchers say
Loneliness Among Older Adults: A National Survey of Adults 45+ (G. Oscar Anderson, AARP Research, Sept. 2010) Brief write-up and you can download the PDF of report.
Prevent Isolation and Loneliness As You Age (Eldercare Locator and National Association of Area Agencies on Aging, or n4a)
People who possess this one thing enjoy much better health as they age, science shows (Barbara Bradley Hagerty, WaPo, 5-17-16) "Indeed, studies show that people with a network of friends live years longer than those who are alone. They recover more quickly from cancer. They are less likely to suffer a heart attack or stroke. They ward off depression, and are far more likely to keep their memories intact as they age. Many of these studies suggest that friends matter more to your health than family."
To stay healthy as we age, large social networks trump close-knit ones (Tara Bahrampour, WaPo, 9-12-16) For optimal health, many loosely connected friends are better than a tightknit circle "People with more extensive, weaker ties tend to arrive at the hospital sooner after a stroke, and to recover faster, the paper found. The key seems to be the diversity that comes with knowing many different kinds of people....“As doctors we think of a strong family unit of support system as really important to patients’ health,” Dhand said. But in the case of a patient experiencing a mild stroke, that model can be less useful “because you’re not forced to go outside of your safe zone,” he said. “I call it sort of the helicopter family; people around you are saying, ‘No, grandpa, stay where you are, I’ll get it for you.’”
7 Loneliness-Busters You’ll Find Online (Vonnie Kennedy, Senior Planet, 5-16-13) Reach out. Listen to music. Take classes. Volunteer. Join an online community. (Try ham radio!) Get a pet. Meditate.
The Senior Song Book (Marvin Weisbord, The Smart Set, 5-5-22) Making music with best old friends. More such stories about friendship, including Reviving the Dinner Party (Laura Leavitt, 11-19-18)
Paws. Seniors for seniors. The PAWS adoption program places senior cats and dogs (typically over 7 years of age) with people over 60.
How Pet Therapy Has Changed Assisted Living (Mary Park Byrne, A Place for Mom,1-12-15)
Travellers Point
The Challenges of Male Friendships (Jane E. Brody, Well, NY Times, 6-27-16)

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ROMEO (Retired Old Men Eating Out) Gives Guys a Chance to Connect (Robert W. Stock, AARP, 1-4-11) Hundreds of self-proclaimed ROMEO groups across the country, some with a handful of members, some with as many as 80, meet for lunch or for breakfast, weekly or monthly. "...it helps them discover what women know from the time they enter kindergarten, that a sense of connectedness feels good and is good for your emotional health."
A Voice for Men: Changing the Cultural Narrative combined with a Wikipedia entry about Mensshed movement. Nonprofit organizations called "men's sheds" (after backyard sheds, where men could go to fix lawn mowers etc.) or community sheds originated in Australia, to advise and improve the overall health of all males, and it garnered widespread approval and government funding. “Men’s sheds’ demonstrated success in reaching marginalized and isolated males and contributing to improvements in male health and well being.” "In many ways men's sheds can be seen as extension of the original 19th century idea of working men's club's in the UK and Australia." The relaxing atmosphere helps lower men's stress and blood pressure. See Australian Men's Shed Movement
Researchers Confront an Epidemic of Loneliness (Katie Hafner, NY Times, 9-9-16) Researchers have found mounting evidence linking loneliness to physical illness and to functional and cognitive decline. As a predictor of early death, loneliness eclipses obesity. In Britain and the United States, roughly one in three people older than 65 live alone, and in the United States, half of those older than 85 live alone. Studies in both countries show the prevalence of loneliness among people older than 60 ranging from 10 percent to 46 percent. Provides links to organizations that provide friendly listeners to calls from lonely aging citizens.

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Campaign to End Loneliness.
So Lonely It Hurts (Gretchen Reynolds, NY Times, 12-10-15) Advice backed by research: Be nice and gently welcoming to the curmudgeons you meet. Invite them to share coffee. Don’t push for reciprocal invitations, perhaps. And if you happen to be the curmudgeon, accept that invitation. It isn’t coming from a predator out to devour you.
Why Loneliness Hurts So Much (Richard E. Cytowic MD, Psychology Today, 4-28-15) Affection matters to our mental, physical, and spiritual health. "When stressed, even brief hugs or kisses can help us calm down, regain perspective, and feel ready to tackle the problems that face us. If we are fortunate to have robust, affectionate relationships in our lives, then we are less likely to overreact to stressful events wherever we encounter them."

"Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break."

                 ~ William Shakespeare

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Research and news on aging

Generations Beat Online News (GBO, Paul Kleyman and the Journalists Network on Generations, reporting what's new on the generations beat since 1993)
The Wisdom of the Aged (John Leland and photographer Nicole Bengiveno, New York Times, 12-25-15) For six New Yorkers age 85 and older, whose lives were followed throughout the year, old age is a mixture of happiness and sadness, with less time wasted on anger, stress, and worry. The six tried to address the question one of them asked: What is reasonable to ask of old age? Beyond the assaults of poverty or illness, to what extent can people shape the quality of life in their late years?

     The good: "...even as the brain slows down or memory deteriorates, older people are often better decision-makers, recognizing patterns or being more attuned to the effects of their decisions....In surveys of people in nursing homes and hospices, Dr. Ardelt found that wisdom was positively related to their sense of well-being, even after the researchers controlled for factors like physical health, financial status and social engagement. The frailer or closer to death people became, the greater the role wisdom played in their feelings of well-being. Wisdom may not necessarily increase with old age — other researchers have found that it does not — but it becomes more central to people’s lives as they age, and compensates for much of the decline."

     "Recent research suggests that people’s attitude toward aging, even in their younger years, may affect their bodies as well....Of course, it may be that people in better health simply have brighter views of aging."

      For Jonas "Mekas, old age was like younger age: an imperative to pay attention to the moment and do good in it."
The Longevity Genes Project (Albert Einstein College of Medicine) Genetic research on more than 500 healthy elderly people between the ages of 95 and 112 and on their children. They're still accepting participants, it seems.
Why Do Superagers Have Sharper Memory? (Judy George, MedPage Today, 7-14-23) Study untangles characteristics linked with better brains in 80-year-olds. Superagers -- people in their 80s who have the memory function of people 30 years younger -- had specific characteristics that set them apart, an observational study showed. Superagers had more gray matter volume in the medial temporal lobe, cholinergic forebrain, and motor thalamus than typical older adults and slower total gray matter atrophy over time.              "There were no differences in amyloid-beta, APOE status, or other dementia biomarkers between superagers and typical older adults. There also was no difference in the amount each group exercised. However, a model that assessed 89 clinical, lifestyle, and demographic variables indicated that faster movement and better mental health were key factors that differentiated superagers from others."

       "We are now closer to solving one of the biggest unanswered questions about superagers: whether they are truly resistant to age-related memory decline or they have coping mechanisms that help them overcome this decline better than their peers," Marta Garo-Pascual said in a statement.
Secrets of the 'Wellderly' (Robert Lee Hotz, WSJ, 9-19-08) "Earlier this year, researchers at the U.K.'s University of Cambridge and the Medical Research Council reported that people who exercise regularly, don't smoke, limit their alcohol intake and eat five servings of fruit and vegetables a day live, on average, 14 years longer than people who didn't. (paragraph) Yet, there is little evidence of an abstemious lifestyle among the 450 people between the ages of 95 and 110 enrolled in the Longevity Genes Project at Albert Einstein College of Medicine. There are no vegetarians. At least a third of them were obese in middle-age. A third have been smoking tobacco for 40 years or more, despite health warnings. 'I have a woman who recently celebrated 91 years of cigarette smoking,' says Dr. Barzilai. 'She is 106 now.'
Data Sources for Research in Aging (Center for Demography of Health and Aging, University of Wisconsin-Madison). About 55 studies and datasets have been highlighted, providing easy access to some of the most well-known and useful studies of the sociological, economic, and medical aspects of aging. The archives, government agencies and NGOs listed will help serve as a gateway to hundreds more.
The Gerontological Association of America (GAA) We foster collaboration between biologists, health professionals, policymakers, behavioral and social scientists, and other age studies scholars and researchers. We believe the intersection of research from diverse areas is the best way to achieve the greatest impact and promote healthy aging.
American Society on Aging (ASA)
National Academy on an Aging Society
The older population is growing and becoming more diverse (Liz Seegert, Covering Health, AHCJ, 12-22) The Administration for Community Living (ACL) has published its profile of older Americans 2021, an annual summary of critical statistics related to the older population. Using data primarily from the U.S. Census Bureau, the National Center for Health Statistics, and the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the report found: 
---More than 55 million people were 65 or older in 2020 (30.8 million women and 24.8 million men) 
---This group (people ages 65 and older) comprised 17% of the U.S. population in 2020, up a full percentage from the prior year.
---Over the next two decades, the white (non-Hispanic) older population is expected to grow by 26% while older racial and ethnic minority populations are expected to swell by 105%: Hispanic (148%), African American (not Hispanic) (73%), American Indian and Alaska Native (not Hispanic) (58%), and Asian American (not Hispanic) (93%). 
Additional resources:
...National Council on the Aging 
...Global AgeWatch Index
...Superagers Family Study Scientists are hoping to find out why some people live well into their 90s and beyond with little cognitive or physical impairment
...Caregiving in the United States 2020  (AARP)
...Population Aging and Multicultural Diversity in the United States: Implications for Older Consumers’ Needs and Expectations (Journal articlee, Innovations in Aging)

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National Adult Vaccination Program
Hartford Change AGEnts Initiative (accelerates sustained practice change that improves the health of older Americans, their families, and communities by harnessing the collective strengths, resources, and expertise of the John A. Hartford Foundation’s interprofessional community of more than 3,000 scholars, clinicians, and health system leaders)
Association for Gerontology in Higher Education (AGHE)
A Study on Fats That Doesn’t Fit the Story Line(Aaron E. Carroll, The New Health Care, NY Times, 4-15-16) The Minnesota Coronary Experiment was a well-designed study (a randomized controlled trial), an intervention diet that lowered the percent of calories from saturated fats to 9.2 percent, and raised the percent from unsaturated fats to 13.2 percent. The total serum cholesterol dropped significantly more in those on the intervention diet (-31.2 mg/dL) than in those on the control diet (-5 mg/dL) but there was no decreased risk of death with a diet lower in saturated fats. Why weren't the results published? Possibly publication bias. The state of nutrition research is shockingly flawed.

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The fashion world's silver stylistas (Tamsin Smith, BBC, 4-25-13). Young, thin models tend to dominate the catwalks and fashion shoots, but a group of stylish pensioners is giving them a run for their money and appearing in glossy ads for eyewear and designer clothes. (Love that hat!)

Despite health challenge, senior athlete stays in the lineup (Michael E. Ruane, Washington Post, 6-29-10)
Divorced. The children have left home. If the phone rings, it's only a call centre... I admit it, I'm lonely (Marion McGilvary, Daily Mail, UK, 7-27-12)
The Eden Alternative -- a nonprofit that believes aging should be a continued stage of development and growth, rather than a period of decline. Its vision: To eliminate loneliness, helplessness, and boredom. See more about the Eden Alternative.


Elderbloggers Stake Their Claim (Lee Roberts, NY Times, 4-11-06)
Elderly thrive in Denmark, where nursing homes are small, homey, and delightful (Judy Steed, The Star, 11-9-08)
The Elder Storytelling Place (a Time Goes By weblog)
Embodied Aging Sharri Teague's inactive blog ("Sharri's my name -- connection's my game")
Ethnic Elders (New American Media press site)

Fierce with Age (a digest of boomer wisdom, inspiration, & spirituality)
Flashfree: Not your mama's menopause (Liz Scherer's blog -- check out her blogroll for more along these lines)

Geezerguts: making a buck, no matter what . Jane Genova lost her job and everything else at 60 and started over as a freelance writer-entrepreneur (speechwriter-ghostwriter); her story of loss and comeback is full of practical advice for middle-aged and older employed writers, among others. Download her free eBook here ( PDF). You can also download her lecture to the NY State Bar Association, Our Stories: Leveraging Them for Career Transition. Or buy her new book: Over-50: How We Keep Working
Generations Beat Online, e-newsletter of the Journalists Network on Generations for writers/producers covering issues in aging and retirement. Journalists can subscribe to the excellent GBO newsletter (edited by Paul Kleyman)
Getting Old Sucks: But It Sure Beats the Alternative (Ed Strnad, co-author of The Optimist's/Pessimist's Guide to the Millennium, faces the downside of aging with humor)

The Gift of Adversity: The Unexpected Benefits of Life's Difficulties, Setbacks, and Imperfections (research psychiatrist Norman E. Rosenthal). Using stories from his own life—including his childhood in apartheid-era South Africa, his years after suffering a violent attack from a stranger, and his career as a psychiatrist—as well as case studies and discussions with well-known figures like Viktor Frankl and David Lynch, Rosenthal shows that true innovation, emotional resilience, wisdom, and dignity can only come from confronting and understanding the adversity we have experienced.
Goddesses in Everywoman by Jean Shinoda Bolen, author of Goddesses in Older Women: Archetypes in Women Over Fifty and Crones Don't Whine: Concentrated Wisdom for Juicy Women
Gratitude is good medicine (UC Davis Health, The Science of Gratitude) Practicing gratitude boosts emotional and physical well being

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The Gift of Adversity: The Unexpected Benefits of Life's Difficulties, Setbacks, and Imperfections (research psychiatrist Norman E. Rosenthal). Using stories from his own life—including his childhood in apartheid-era South Africa, his years after suffering a violent attack from a stranger, and his career as a psychiatrist—as well as case studies and discussions with well-known figures like Viktor Frankl and David Lynch, Rosenthal shows that true innovation, emotional resilience, wisdom, and dignity can only come from confronting and understanding the adversity we have experienced.
Goddesses in Everywoman by Jean Shinoda Bolen, author of Goddesses in Older Women: Archetypes in Women Over Fifty and Crones Don't Whine: Concentrated Wisdom for Juicy Women

Harry (Rick) Moody's three excellent newsletters, The Soul of Bioethics, Human Values in Aging (see back issues), and Teaching Gerontology. Watch video presentations on various topics.
•  Hecate and My Date with Mr. Wrong (Sharry Teague on The Elder Storytelling Place's Time Goes By blog)
How Revving Up Your Heart Rate, Even A Bit, Pays Off (Allison Aubrey, NPR Morning Edition 2-1-10). Brisk walking is key to thriving later in life.
How This 52-Year-Old Went From Couch Potato To Half Marathons (Ann Brenoff, HuffPost, 6-13-12, tells great story about Linda Tabach)
How to Be Old (David Brooks and Gail Collins converse about styles of aging. Brooks, for example: "Then there is the possibility of the wise old sage. I’ve noticed one way in which turning 70 is like turning 17. Hormones kick in. The hormones at 17 lead to a great hunger for you know what. The hormones at 70 lead to a great hunger for generativity, for giving back to future generations. People at that age have a great horniness for service and they start volunteering promiscuously." And Collins: "...it is true that you only get to choose how you’re going to finish your life story if you have some money to pay for a desirable conclusion."
•  How to give death a good name (Elizabeth Grice, The Telegraph 6-23-08). With society now obsessed by the desire to prolong life, Grice asks if we have lost the art of dying well and examines practical steps to change our attitudes.

How to live to be 100+ (video, Dan Buettner's excellent TED talk 9-09). Sardinia and Okinawa have something to teach us, and so do Seventh Day Adventists near Loma Linda, CA)


iMagineAge.com (imagination and conversation for the boomer generation)
•  Innovation Without Age Limits (Vivek Wadhwa, Technology Review, 2-1-12). Young stars dominate the technology headlines. But outside the Internet, research shows, innovators are actually getting older as complexity rises.
Intentional Communities (ecovillages, cohousing communities, residential land trusts, communes, student co-ops, urban housing cooperatives, intentional living, alternative communities, cooperative living, and other projects where people strive together with a common vision)

• Jane Fonda, Life's Third Act (video, Fonda's TED talk, Dec. 2011). Here's the Times article she refers to: A.L.S. Rewrites a Retiree's Dream: Loss of Speech Evokes the Voice of a Writer (Peter Applebome, NY Times, 3-6-11).
The Joy of Old Age. (No Kidding.) (Oliver Sacks, NY Times, 7-6-13). " "I often feel that life is about to begin, only to realize it is almost over.... I do not think of old age as an ever grimmer time that one must somehow endure and make the best of, but as a time of leisure and freedom, freed from the factitious urgencies of earlier days, free to explore whatever I wish, and to bind the thoughts and feelings of a lifetime together. "
Julia Child's co-author succeeded in the kitchen but also in second half of life. Abigail Trafford, in her WashPost column (My Time, 3-2-2010), quotes psychiatrist Harvey L. Rich, author of In the Moment: Celebrating the Everyday: "We snicker at the young -- we say the problem with youth is that it's wasted on the young. . . . But young people have a different job than older people. They are trying to build a life; we're at the stage of trying to make sense of life. The young haven't acquired the language. They're not there yet."


LGBT Aging Issues Network (LAIN) and Resources Clearinghouse (brings together professionals interested in the concerns of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and intersex individuals ages 50-plus)

Liberating Aging . Maggie Kuhn in 1978, as interviewed by Ken Dychtwald (HuffPost 5-30-12).

Listen to An Old Wise Man Once Said. Henry Alford, author of How to Live: A Search for Wisdom from Old People (While They Are Still on This Earth), goes to Washington Square Park to get strangers to share their hopes and fears about growing old.

The Longevity Revolution: Time to Get Out and Change Things (Wendy Gordon, Huffington Post, 1-2-12)

Long term care insurance (links to articles and sites that answer your questions) Should you or should you not buy long-term care insurance? How much? Can you afford it? Where to learn about options. Do premiums or benefits affect your tax picture? Separating expenses and emotions.

Loss of Speech Evokes the Voice of a Writer--A.L.S. Rewrites a Retiree's Dream (Peter Applebome, NY Times, 3-6-11). “As my muscles weakened, my writing became stronger,” he wrote recently in an unpublished essay. “As I slowly lost my speech, I gained my voice. As I diminished, I grew. As I lost so much, I finally started to find myself.”

Mastery: The Keys to Success and Long-Term Fulfillment by George Leonard

Memory (YouTube). You may smile in recognition at Pam Peterson's rendition of the lyrics (about memory problems associated with aging)

(Christie Aschwanden, Wash Post, 7-1-13). Memory worries? Don’t bother with vitamins and supplements. Just get regular exercise. And eat a Mediterranean diet (low in saturated fats and red meat and rich in vegetables, fish, whole grains and omega-3-fatty acids).

Mine Is Longer than Yours. Michael Kinsley (The New Yorker, 4-7-08). A diagnosis of Parkinson's disease forces Kinsley to reflect on mortality earlier than his peers; in this piece, he examines longevity as the last competitive game among baby boomers.

Music for Funerals and Memorial Services. Choosing your own music should DEFINITELY be part of end-of-life planning--one of the few parts that may be enjoyable.

The New Old Age: Caring and Coping. Excellent NY Times blog, often written by Paula Span'

Next Avenue, PBS's website for America's 50+ population as they plan for and define a new life stage. Samples of articles thereon:
4 Ways to Turn Your Walk Into a Workout (Stephanie Stephens)
The 6 Things You Shouldn't Say to Your Adult Child (Linda Bernstein) and How to Heal a Rift with Your Adult Child (Erica Manfred)
How to Plan a Funeral (and avoid being pressured into unnecessary purchases, by Caroline Mayer)
10 Tips for Connecting to Someone With Dementia (Family Caregiver Alliance)
Is Long-Term Care Insurance Worth Buying? (Paul Solman)
Need a Hearing Aid? Get the Best Advice and Fit for You (Bonnie Goldstein)
9 Best Things About Being Over 50 (Donna Sapolin, 2-20-13)

Nora Ephron on Aging. Nora's wonderful essay on the advice she wished she'd had sooner -- "the honest truth is that it’s sad to be over 60." For example: "Oh, how I regret not having worn a bikini for the entire year I was 26. If anyone young is reading this, go, right this minute, put on a bikini, and don’t take it off until you’re 34." (Daily Mail, 6-29-12)

No Retirement Age for Rebellion (Sam Smith, Swampoodle Report, Undernews, online report of the Progressive Review, 11-24-08)

Old Age, From Youth’s Narrow Prism (Marc E. Agronin, NY Times, 3-1-10) "Our youth-centered culture equates love with sex; in contrast, I have seen with my older patients that love can be an endlessly blossoming flower, felt and expressed in hundreds of ways."

Old Before My Time (Eileen Beal, 8-15-02, PDF file)

Older Women's League (OWL, a national grassroots membership organization that strives to improve the status and quality of life for midlife and older women). Helpful blog entries such as Job Search Tips for Older Job Seekers (4-16-12) and The Last Word: Caregiving in the New Era .

Old People Are Getting Better at Dating (Jen Doll, Atlantic Wire, 2-13-12)

Old Soul: How Aging Reveals Character — A Conversation With James Hillman (Genie Zeiger, The Sun, Issue 296 August 2000) Hillman's books include The Soul's Code and The Force of Character and the Lasting Life

The Omnivore's Hundred (100 fine, strange, and everyday foods the "very good taste" blog thinks everyone should try once)

100 Simple Things You Can Do to Prevent Alzheimer's and Age-Related Memory Loss by Jean Carper. (She may extend a little too much hope about being able to avoid the disease, but the simple things to do are no doubt worth doing anyway. I wonder if the research will change on the merits of coffee drinking.) Here's an excerpt.

Outliving the Self: How We Live on in Future Generations by John Kotre. Read free online.

Over 50, and Under No Illusions (Caitlin Kelly, NY Times, 1-12-13). Too young to retire, too old to start over. With skill, determination and a bit of luck, the end of a job doesn’t have to be the end of the world. Kelly provides success stories as models.

Over 55 and in love: Seniors make up 8 percent of wedding business (AP, 8-22-12)

Palm Pilot as Surrogate Memory (part of a Toronto Star series on good programs for seniors aging in place, including A Storm Shelter (11-8-08), a program for elders aging in place--providing them with one good meal a day and activities to counter their feelings of isolation and loneliness)

Parent-Child Conflicts and Troubled Relationships
When Your Child Won't Talk to You (a/k/a Divorcing Your Parents, Cutting Your Parents Out of Your Life, The Stranger in Your Family) (Meredith Maran, AARP magazine, April/May 2012). An expert provides advice on rebuilding family ties.
When Your Child Divorces You (Joshua Coleman, AARP, May 6, 2012)
When They’re Grown, the Real Pain Begins (Susan Engel, NY Times, 11-28-12). Note the 748 comments!
How to Heal a Rift With Your Adult Child (Erica Manfred, NextGeneration, 1-16-13)
A Son Reaches Out to Make a Final Connection With His Father (Robert EDelstein, NextGeneration 6-15-12). As his dad lay dying, the writer became obsessed with photographing their hands one last time
Healing From Family Rifts : Ten Steps to Finding Peace After Being Cut Off From a Family Member by Mark Sichel
Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children: Six Steps to Hope and Healing for Struggling Parents by Allison Botke, editor of the God Allows U-Turns series
Liking the Child You Love (Jeffrey Bernstein, Psychology Today, 4-8-12). Getting unstuck from your overly dependent, demanding adult child.
7 Hints for Communicating With Adult Children (Susan Adcox, About.com) Grandparents' Best Tool Is Tact

Positive Aging Newsletter (Taos Institute). Also available: Positive Aging newsletter archives. Edited by Ken and Mary Gergen.

Program of All-Inclusive Care for the Elderly (PACE), an optional benefit under Medicare and Medicaid that helps older people frail enough to meet state standards for nursing home care stay in their home. PACE offers and manages all the medical, social and rehabilitative services enrollees need to preserve or restore their independence, stay in their homes and communities, and maintain their quality of life. Listen to this interview on Kansas Public Radio about PACE. There is evidence that this new model of care is effective, but it is not yet widely available. Here is a current list of PACE-provider organizations

The Purpose Prize ($100,000 awards given by Encore.Org, to individuals over 60 who have worked in the second half of life to address a major social problem. Check out the winners and what they won for.

Religious Tolerance (what the world's religions believe)

The (Really) Long Goodbye He's got a gun, a badge—and rheumatoid arthritis. The iconic detectives of best-selling authors from Michael Connelly to Ruth Rendell are fighting a new foe: old age. (Alexandra Alter, WSJ, 7-1-11)

A Reminder That Laughter Is the Best Medicine (a video of Mary Maxwell's very funny take on the ignobilities of aging, delivered ostensibly as a prayer). "...the thing about old age is that you don't get a chance to practice. This is the first time I've been old, and it just sort of crept up on me. There were signs: Random hair growth. That's special. Particularly that first time you go to brush a hair off your lapel and discover it's attached to your chin." From a speech she gave for Home Instead Senior Care.

Restoring balance in old age (Kay Lazar, Boston Globe, 1-16-12). With advancing age come problems of unsteadiness and dizziness. Researchers are looking for ways to stop the falls.

Rethinking Expectations About How We Age (Marc Agronin, on NPR's Talk of the Nation, on his book How We Age: A Doctor's Journey into the Heart of Growing Old. When it comes to disorders such as anxiety, depression or even Alzheimer's disease, says Agronin,"we make assumptions that this is simply old age, or this is a disease state that we can't do anything about." Not true.

SavvySeniorsWork.com (Because they deliver--it's that simple). See, for example:
12 Most Overlooked Essential First Steps For Starting A Business (Shennandoah Diaz, 7-27-11)
Balancing Work and Life: Stories from the Trenches
You and the Queen Have a Lot in Common!

The Science of Getting Old: Why Do We Age? (infographic by Aldo Baker)

The Secrets of Aging Well (WebMD)

Seven ways boomers are rewriting the rules of retirement (Mark Miller, Reuters, 2-5-13). They are leaving the U.S., are starting companies, are tech savvy, are outliving their expectations, are borrowing more, are providing financial support, aren't running to Florida.

So You're Dead: A Novice's Guide to Non-Being by Kevin Garrison (download this humor book free, as a PDF)

The Spiritual Dimensions of Conscious Aging Book, Video, and Audio Resources recommended by Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat

Stories of Baby Boomerangs (Sam Whiting, SFGate, 1-5-13), This is the term Sam Whiting, Meredith May, and Bek Phillips use for “people in their 50s and 60s who walk out the door of one career in order to walk in the door of another.”

The Stories That Bind Us (Bruce Feiler, This Life, NY Times, 3-15-13). The single most important thing you can do for your family may be the simplest of all: develop a strong family narrative. Studies indicate that children learn resilience when they hear what their relatives before them have faced. Families' unifying narratives tend to take one of three shapes: the ascending family narrative ("We started with nothing"), the descending family narrative ("We lost everything"), and the oscillating family narrative ("We've had our ups and downs, but we always stuck together").

They’ve Still Got Bucket Lists — In Their 90s (Bruce Horovitz, KHN, 6-5-17) "Young people dream and old people remember,” said David Tosetto, who posts large “Bucket List” signs around two assisted living facilities that announce opportunities such as learning to fly or going to college or trying scuba diving and encourages residents to sign up. “The goal of the bucket list is to give them something to dream about.”

Thinking About Aging (Gilbert Meilaender, First Things, April 2011 issue). "Aim not at more years but at better, healthier years."

Thinking Twice About Calcium Supplements (Jane Brody, Well, NY Times, 4-8-13).

30 Lessons for Living: Tried and True Advice from the Wisest Americans, anthology of advice and hard-won wisdom selected by Karl Pillemere and the Legacy Project at Cornell (see this video).

Time Goes By: What it's really like to get older (Ronni Bennett's blog)

Top five regrets of the dying. A nurse has recorded the most common regrets of the dying, and among the top ones is 'I wish I hadn't worked so hard'. What would your biggest regret be if this was your last day of life? (Susie Steiner, The Guardian, UK 2-1-12)

Traveling with limited mobility and other disabilities, books on:
Access Anything: I Can Do That! - Adventuring with Disabilities by Andrea & Craig Kennedy
Barrier-Free Travel:A Nuts And Bolts Guide For Wheelers And Slow Walkers by Candy B. Harrington (author of 101 Accessible Vacations: Vacation Ideas for Wheelers and Slow Walkers and There Is Room at the Inn: Inns and B&Bs for Wheelers and Slow Walkers
Rick Steves' Easy Access Europe: A Guide for Travelers with Limited Mobility

Two Men, 58 Years and Counting. A Love Story. (John Leland, NY Times, 9-5-13). Peter Cott and Kenneth Leedom, now in their late 80s, face cancer, Alzheimer's, and concern about remaining able to take care of each other. Three years ago, the two men moved into a senior building in Lower Manhattan. Mr. Cott wears two hearing aids and has been given a diagnosis of probable Alzheimer’s. Recently, a doctor discovered Mr. Cott had bladder cancer. They worry about how much longer they will be able to care for each other.

Unsilent Generation , a site for pissed-off progressive old folks (and future old folks)…because we're not dead yet -- for "people who don't believe that getting old means getting dumb, getting conservative, getting complacent or getting used to spending your days driving a golf cart to early bird dinner specials"

The Unspoken Diagnosis: Old Age (Paula Span, The New Old Age, NY Times 12-29-11)


A 'Warrior Woman' Confronts Mortality, In Verse. Maxine Hong Kingston, on NPR, talks about her book I Love a Broad Margin to My Life, a memoir in free verse.

The Way We Age Now (Atul Gawande, The New Yorker, 4-30-07) Medicine has increased the ranks of the elderly. Can it make old age any easier?

WebOver50. The web is wasted on the young, blogs Marilynne Rudick.

What Are Friends For? A Longer Life(Tara Parker-Pope, Well column, NY Times, 4-20-09)

What makes us happy? (Joshua Wolf Shenk's fascinating, thought-provoking article in The Atlantic)

What Would Humanity Be Like Without Aging?. An interesting essay by Kyle Munkittrick (also a book review of science fiction), Discovery blog, 9-9-11.

What You See in the Toilet Can Give You Valuable Insights into Your Health (Dr. Mercola, 2-14-13). Are your stools sinkers or floaters? A healthy color and texture (meaning???) ? Great chart for those of us who worry about these things.

When You Get Old and Lose Your Car (What happens when elderly parents can no longer drive) PDF or more, from Alphadaughters.com, UK and marketing based but may suggest ideas of how to cope!--scroll down to find link)

Willadene Zedan, 85-Year-Old Woman, Graduates From Marian University With A Job Offer (Rebecca Klein, HuffPost, 5-22-13)

With Modern Medicine, Aging In A Lifetime Appointment Can Get Complicated (All Things Considered, 2-11-13). On the occasion of Pope Benedict XVI's abdication of the papacy, Robert Siegel talks with gerontologist Leo Cooney of Yale University about how living longer has influenced our working lives. Popes, monarchs and federal judges all face the question, should we stick with our job till death do us part? How do we evaluate cognitive and physical abilities?

A Woman Like Me, Lesléa Newman's classic piece (for Obit Magazine) on watching obits for the woman who dies childless. ("Will I suffer? Will I become helpless and undignified? Will there be anyone at my bedside to pat my hand and tell me to look towards the light?")

Working a Bronx Parking Lot, at Age 100 Times video about Joe Binder, still working as a valet in a restaurant parking lot.

Work with Passion in Midlife and Beyond: Reach Your Full Potential and Make the Money You Need by Nancy Anderson, author of Work with Passion: How to Do What You Love for a Living. Take time to listen to Nancy Anderson's talk at a Positive Aging conference

Working a Bronx Parking Lot, at Age 100 Times video about Joe Binder, still working as a valet in a restaurant parking lot.

Yo, Is This Ageist? (blog by Ashton Applewhite, This Chair Rocks). Here's her blog.

"Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the heck happened."

If I Had My Life to Live Over

I'd dare to make more mistakes next time.
I'd relax. I would limber up.
I would be sillier than I have been this trip.
I would take fewer things seriously.
I would take more chances.
I would take more trips.
I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers.
I would eat more ice cream and fewer beans.
I would perhaps have more actual troubles but I'd have fewer imaginary ones.

You see, I'm one of those people who live sensibly and sanely hour after hour, day after day.

Oh, I've had my moments and if I had it to do over again, I'd have more of them. In fact, I'd try to have nothing else. Just moments. One after another, instead of living so many years ahead of each day.

I've been one of those people who never go anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat and a parachute.
If I had my life to live over, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall.
If I had it to do again, I would travel lighter next time.
I would go to more dances.
I would ride more merry-go-rounds.
I would pick more daisies.
~ Attributed to 85-year-old Nadine Stair

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"Often what we define as health problems are really support problems."
~ Judith Snow, quoted in Consequential Strangers: The Power of People Who Don't Seem to Matter. . . But Really Do by Melinda Blau and Karen L. Fingerman

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My Mother, The Lion

by Ruth Liffle

Copyright © by Ruth Little. Reprinted here by permission.

When my partners Holly Hanson, Judie Suit, and I started Elders’ Eden, our dream was to create for our mothers (and Judie’s aunt) a real home — a place where they were loved and valued as the remarkable people they are, each with special skills, achievements, and quirks. We wanted them to have close and continuing relationships with caregivers, children, and pets. And we wanted them to be able, if at all possible, to die at home.

For my mother, Elinor Kester Driedger, this dream was a reality and I am so very grateful. Her last years were rich with love, and every day was full and meaningful because of our wonderful family of caregivers. And they really ARE family to us all. She was deeply contented in these last years, and her gentle passing is exactly what I hoped to make possible.

Mom moved to Rockford in 2000, when dementia had already begun to take a toll. Her caregivers know she could be feisty. Most of you who met her met the lamb. I remember the lion…

Let me talk a little about my mother, the lion — a woman who packed her chain saw when she came to visit, when she was well over 80, just in case we needed something cut down.

She was basically an artsy person. She loved music, books, poetry, theater, and dance. She taught me many Gilbert & Sullivan songs, sparking my interest in music, language, and rhyme—for instance, this song from Pirates of Penzance: “When a felon’s not engaged in his employment, or maturing his felonious little plans, his capacity for innocent enjoyment is just as great as any other man’s. Our feelings we with difficulty smother when constabulary duty’s to be done, take one consideration with another, a policeman’s lot is not a happy one.” I know I was NOT over four when I learned this; I remember asking the meaning of most of the long words.

Elinor whistled; she didn’t hum or sing. She whistled a LOT. Her repertory included show tunes, classical music, and pop tunes of her era. Many of her favorites I learned from her whistling.

She was determined, and not given to compromise. Not about anything. I couldn’t leave home until I made my bed. When I missed the school bus, I walked the 7 miles to high school, and she was never apologetic about my extreme lateness to the school administration.

Elinor was aggressively honest. In my high school, there was no after-school activity bus, so after sports or band practice, kids would call home to summon a ride. Most had a code to avoid paying for the phone call: put your money in the phone and let it ring a certain number of times and hang up. But I never had a code. My mother believed that was cheating the phone company, and she wouldn’t do it. That made an impression. I suspect that was her goal.

I learned to play piano because she strictly enforced a daily hour of practice – and an hour meant a full hour with your fingers on the keys. I’m grateful that when I wanted to make the New Jersey All-State band in high school, I had developed the discipline to practice clarinet the hour or two a day it took to get in that band.

She was incredibly compassionate — always concerned about people who were poor, or exploited, or coping with disabilities or health issues. Wherever we lived, she was active in one or more social service organizations. Over the years, she worked to help recent immigrants and people with disabilities — physical disabilities and mental illness. She worked on race relations, open housing, and women’s rights and probably other things I wasn’t aware of.

Our parent’s friends were diverse and interesting. My mother was intrigued by differences, and actively sought out relationships with a wide variety of people. Our lives were richer because of the several families of new Americans who were welcomed into our home and became a large part of our lives. The autistic child of family friends was a frequent playmate. I was nearly 8 when it dawned on me that my friend Dimi didn’t talk.

Many years ago, the YWCA in Baton Rouge started some groups to plant the seeds of better race relations. “Dialogue groups” of about 20 women, half white and half people of color, were signed up for 8 weeks of meetings to get to know one another. My mother’s group didn’t disband. After many, many weeks, they moved out of the Y and started monthly meetings. Over the years, their lives were entwined…they shared weddings, funerals, trips, parties, and vacations together. When my folks left Baton Rouge, her Dialogue group had been meeting for more than 20 years.

She had such a variety of interests and hobbies. She loved archeology and relished each of the many trips my folks took around the world. She loved gardening, and she was a serious about her compost. Nearly every time we visited our favorite fancy restaurant in Louisiana we had to stop at the kitchen before we left so she could collect a big bag of shrimp and crawdad shells because “these are good for the compost.” She brought a lot of strange things home because they were good for the compost. Living with this woman was always interesting.

And she was fiercely independent. She had hoped to drive until she was 100, and you may all be thankful that she eventually forgot that idea. When she was in therapy to recover from a broken hip, she told the gait therapist “I’ve been walking for nearly 90 years, and I don’t need any lessons.”

We have a very large framed photo of my dad, and after my dad died, she would carry that from room to room so he could be with her. As the mist of memory loss descended, he seemed quite real to her. I once arrived in her apartment to find her sitting with the TV facing away from her, and the photo on a chair facing the TV. When I asked her “What’s going on here?” She said “Oh, he’s watching sports or something.”

Eventually Elinor lived only in the present. Memory loss is not such a terrible thing once you learn to appreciate the new opportunities it presents.

Once I brought her flowers, which we put on her dresser. The next day, as we walked by those flowers, I pointed them out …and she said “Oh yes, they’ve been there as long as I can remember.” And she laughed – I think she knew that was a great line.

In her last years, she was not able to speak very often or very well. While she could still talk a little, I asked her if we managed to understand what she wanted and what she meant, and she said yes. It took me a while to realize why that was true. If she had not stopped talking, I never would have realized how very expressive her face was. She had an incredible variety of expressions: a raised eyebrow, a furrowed brow, a big smile, a slight nod of the head, and a devilish wink, augmented by a few key sounds, .the most notable being what we called “the whoop.” We always knew what she meant.

I loved my mother….I’m grateful for her spirit, her eagerness to embrace life, her love and her example of integrity, compassion, and community involvement.

We have an Elders’ Eden blessing:

May there always be work for your hands to do
May you share your home with a pet or two
May your life be filled with growing things
May you know the comfort that family brings
May the sun always shine on your windowpane
May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain
May the hand of a friend always be near you
May love fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.

I’m grateful for Elders’ Eden and my friends there who gave my mom love and support and dignity, and made it possible for her to have her toes in the grass in summer, a child by her chair, a cat on her bed and a smile on her face, for so long.
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Dying: A Book of Comfort